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Joined: Mar 2010
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J
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Not as well as I should but getting there.I know life would never be the same or will be the same again.You dont want to recreate the bad bits anyway.
I thank God I have my girls cos I wouldnt hve been here if I hadnt.Crazy losing a person can do that to you..wanting to give up your life but thats the space I was in.
I now realise how unwell I had become because of my H behaviour..no person is worth that or would do it to you if they really loved you.


ME 44
H 45
D 14
D 20
M 22 YEARS
TOGETHER 28YEARS
Bomb Drop 14th July 09
Seperated-living with OW 10mths(14/07/09)
MLC 3years

Silence wasn't golden in this marriage; it was deadly," Dr. Robin L. Smith
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Originally Posted By: JacT
no person is worth that or would do it to you if they really loved you.

VERY true. cool


Positive Lifetime Attitude Award: http://tinyurl.com/2dssttf

H in MLC?: http://tinyurl.com/23fabv8

Infidelity: Expose or Not? http://tinyurl.com/26ksmfj
Joined: Apr 2010
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"it would be time to build a new stronger life for you both if thats what you want"

Oh Yes...the thought is wonderful...if only...


was theotherhalf
M43
H43
M22 T25
MLC/OW bomb 4/07 Hmoved out 8/07
D6/09
Still trying to accept and move on...
Joined: Mar 2010
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Dont give up.I am sure your day will come.I posted on another thread that a WAH came back after 7 years and told his W he had made a huge mistake after the OW called off their wedding.
Sometimes , I think we think its what we want.
I pray that if my H ever comes back, I am strong enough to make the right decision.I am not poutting myself under that pressure or else I wont heal myself.
My spiritual healer said he would be back but I wouldnt want him.


ME 44
H 45
D 14
D 20
M 22 YEARS
TOGETHER 28YEARS
Bomb Drop 14th July 09
Seperated-living with OW 10mths(14/07/09)
MLC 3years

Silence wasn't golden in this marriage; it was deadly," Dr. Robin L. Smith
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I think you are right snodderly. He is back in the rabbit hole. No contact for 8 days.

HUGS

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During the stage of reconnection, is it normal for spouses to spend some time in withdrawal before continuing to reconnect?

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job Offline
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Yes, it is very normal...they can still bounce through most of the stages during this time. Nothing is set in one pattern, i.e., stage 1, 2, 3 or 4. They bounce back and forth. You need to try to let it go and not analyze his every move. What he is doing is very normal and no, reconnection will not be a continued pace, but there will be starts and stops until he's ready to reconnect fully. Try to remember how it was when his crisis started and then look at it backwards.

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Thanks snodderley,
H broke withdrawal today, but seems to have bounced back to where he was a couple of weeks ago.
Its like he has forgotten he came to the house.
Like you said though he could have spooked himself.


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job Offline
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You and I were posting at the same time. Try not to analyze his every move.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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Hi
H has continued to visit and reconnect.
He has spoken to BIL about how he misses certain things from home. He also spoke of missing the pets when he came to the house last time. He has begun to buy gifts for S which he has never done whilst in MLC.
Finding the journey a painfully slow process, but I know this is normal.
OW still there so I know - still replay!
I am seeing the things he is doing in reverse of him going into the tunnel.
Just waiting to see what will be next on this journey.

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