Jack Black made a pretty good romantic lead in The Holiday with Kate Winslet although you are right Jude Law was more my type.
I do agree men are more visual
But you do have to make changes for yourself. I too compared myself to ow. I was surpised how plain she is but I worked on me for me and I still beat her hands down LOL
More journaling: I remember way back when H was D his first W, he mentioned that when he asked for D, she held onto him and he felt nothing, absolutely nothing. He relayed this info to me with disgust in his voice, he had total contempt for her.
I guess I've been thinking part of the reason he didn't leave me last time with his EA and this time, is because I react with strength when he tries to leave.
Also, when we ML last, he was drunk but started crying and saying "I'm just so scared." And he's mentioned before that he thought he came back to me after the last EA b/c he was scared of leaving me. Fear seems to be a large motivator in his life.
Now, he also was in a total fog at the time that he said both things, but perhaps underlying emotions came out best then?
I'm still reading chocolateyes threads from the past and this is what is prompting me thinking about H so much, so don't worry, guys, I'm not getting or feeling weak. I'm just trying to figure out something important that seems to be just under the surface, something that's poking out saying "pay attention to me, this is important" and I haven't gotten it yet.
Hi M&H- just thought I'd stop by your thread! Thanks for your input on mine.
You know- the old intuition works wonders. When you said you didn't know if you should be doing NC yet or what, you said you would let your intuition guide you.
Meanwhile you are looking hotter and hotter....and you are about to change your hair and tan! Those are 180s!!! So do it fir awhile and then see.
meetup.com has options for activities where you can meet friends!!
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
Hey, newmama, thanks for the recommendation on meetup.com - I joined a few groups. Nothing for any time soon. As for the visual nature of man... I guess I'm good with that. LOL. I don't think it's a detriment to the species.
Went out to see Iron Man tonight with H and DSS16. Good movie. Had a good time. H was annoyed at me for asking him to hold my water while I went to the bathroom after wards. Actually, I just handed it to him... lol... sort of like old times, I just assumed. He didn't over react, but he did show annoyance. Should remember not to take things like that for granted. Stupid little things annoy him, like I hear him sigh when I don't stop long enough at a stop sign, and I just know he's annoyed at my driving. He's done it a lot when I drive, sort of drips off of him. Never used to care about my driving.
None of it bothers me, I'm just logging it for curiosity sake.
More journaling. For some reason, this stuff comes at night... What does it say about H that twice in our M a woman has come along and showed interest in him and he jumped right in with them - AND thought they were his soul mates...
If it were me, I'd be shopping around (not while M, but while looking for a R) - dating, meeting men, talking, interviewing for the position, if you will.
H takes the first thing that comes along and jumps right into "let's run away and marry, we're soul mates, and meant to be toghether." He barely knows this woman, but yeah, she's his soul mate... based on beer and sleep and food... LOLOL
Anyway, trying to figure this one out. What is it he's missing in our M that this happens with him. He has to figure it out, and if it doesn't get figured out, we can never heal...
Just had another thought... I must be driving you readers nuts with this... LOL
I just posted to the "where did our screen name come from" and I thought... I chose Passenger because I expected a roller coaster ride, but I haven't gotten that.
I got a steady, downward ride - it's totally different than last time. Last time, H seemed up and down, unsure... but now he is steady and perhaps that is why I keep asking if he's in MLC or just having an A.
I don't know what that means. Maybe it's just my feelings right now, or recently... maybe he's not as solid and decided as I think... but where is the up and down? Where is his anger and depression? He seems to be in such a good mood lately.
He's even stopped drinking, and while that should make me feel good, it doesn't. It confuses me.
Anyway, trying to figure this one out. What is it he's missing in our M that this happens with him. He has to figure it out, and if it doesn't get figured out, we can never heal...
This statement asks and answers!
What is missing is within HIM, not your M. He has been looking outside your M for "it", but will only find "it" when he looks inside. It may be an unmet need from a previous developmental age, an expectation created when he was younger, an unresolved issue from a previous R, or a multitude of other possible things. Like you said, he has to figure it out for himself.
Just my .02!
"If you strike me down, I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine!" 1st thread
