I've been overwhelmed with moving this past week, and with other matters. Still a lot more to go, but I am popping in to check in on everyone.
Several annoyances and jibes from exW since I last posted. I'm trying to let them roll off my back like so much water. It's easy when I'm so utterly busy.
I was off on vacation last week -- packing and moving is not my idea of R & R. I'm tired and sore and still trying to get my ducks in a row. A few adjustments to work through in the new living space, for example. My S's were off for much of the time. They had the "pleasure" of watching Daddy pack and move and sweat. But I made it up to them on Friday -- we spent the day at a local fun park with go-carts, miniature golf and other games. We had a great time. (And I needed the break in the moving ordeal to catch my breath.)
S9 is to be awarded tonight with his badge for earning the Bear rank. I'm very proud of him (trying to not remember the constant prodding of him to stay on task for earning all the achievements necessary for this badge.) He deserves it for his hard work.
On the other hand I am concerned for S9's level of maturity. I have seen signs in him that perhaps he's lagging a bit too far behind in the maturity category to be a continuing success as a scout. At times it worries me. He's not keeping up with his peers. I know it is mostly due to his AS -- and that is to be expected. But in any case, this might prove to be a handicap, one severe enough that he might not be able to proceed in the BSA.
I will continue to monitor his situation.
On another note, My brother's D became final a week ago Friday. He (K) has not talked to me about it at all. If it weren't for FB, I wouldn't have known. Our poor mom didn't have a clue until yesterday. My youngest brother (B) knew -- having talked to K. Other than B, K hasn't been communicating with his family for at least a couple of weeks now. Word has it he's already started seeing other women.
That hasn't stopped K from pawning the kids off on our mother -- and without letting her know first! He's planning a trip to New Orleans to be with friends at the Jazz Fest, and leaving the kids with our mom. Hadn't told her his plans yet -- left that for B to tell her.
Sad to say, K appears to be reverting back to his former, pre-marital state: Self-centered, me-generational, devoted to "friends" and self-gratification more than family. Juvenile. Devolving as it were.
I love my brother, and I am sorry for him (and his children) -- one day this will catch up to him. It always does.
NC, one of my friends just told me his divorce was final that day--and then introduced me to his girlfriend!!!
I can't believe that about the BS. You know, my D10 did GS last year (couldn't this year, but plan to again next year when I can get flextime). I think GS is very AS-friendly, at least our troop. The other girls do help out D10 sometimes; she is a little bit-emotionally and developmentally delayed, just a bit. They just take a little more repetition sometimes. Have you talked to the Scout Leader or whoever's in charge about your concerns?
It sounds as if he is looking for a band aid. Some way to make himself feel better. Don't judge him too harshly, he is in a lot of pain and just has a different way of showing it.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Don't worry, Karen. The BSA is not in any way commenting upon or recommending that S9 not participate. It is just that I am at every meeting and am thus constantly observing S9 and his behaviors and interactions with his fellows -- and I have been growing increasingly concerned that my S has not been exhibiting the growth in character that a scout needs to develop. Just tonight, for example, he got so fixated on the fact many of his peers have been sporting these fad items called "Silly Bandz" -- so much so that he couldn't focus on the real deal, the ceremony to receive his Bear badge. He threw a tantrum that was beneath even a Tiger scout (first graders, the lowest rank), which took me a while to reel him back in. If this were an isolated incident, then I wouldn't worry, but this is getting to be a regular occurrence.
Believe me, I put S9 in the scouts because I believe they help build character, and S9 has benefitted tremendously from it. But I get the sense that S9 is starting to plateau, so to speak, and is no longer growing -- certainly not like his den mates have.
But like I said, I will continue to monitor S9 and try to evauluate in the coming months whether he can succeed or not -- especially without impeding the other scouts.
I assume you mean my brother. In that case, yes, you're probably right. I do pity him, as he is most obviously intent on repeating all his mistakes from his past. Just another unfortunate statistic in the pandemic called MLC.
Hey, my boys are about to get their Bear badges too -
I was a den leader for 2 years; the Scouts are VERY accepting, remember, as long as you "do your best". Without really any visiblity into your situation, I'd encourage to keep on with the scouting. My $.02.
I became an Assistant Den Leader this year to further my participation with S9 (and eventually S5) in Scouting. This maturity issue with S9 is an extension of his handicap, having Asperger's Syndrome (AS). All sources tell me that S9 will be at least two years behind his same-aged peers in emotional development -- and as he gets older that's becoming more and more significant. I need to be prepared for the distinct possibility that, much as I and S9 need for him to gain as much from scouting as possible, he might impede the progress of his fellows -- in which case I might then need to pull us out for the sake of everyone else. I really, really hope and pray that it doesn't ever come to that.
NC~ Sorry about all that has gone on with exw. She is evil... Not thinking about her sons and what would benefit them first. We actually were thinking about purchasing a new home, but decided against it unless we found one in the same school district, because of S7 issues with reading We didn't want to dissrupt all the good that they have been doing for him.
Some things are just not that important.
Your ex is completely messed up. This is not the tale of a devoted mother...
Scouts is such a great thing for them, I am looking into getting S7 involved. I would just watch him for now, Im sure they would help out in anway they could.
your a wonderful father NC don't ever forget that.
(((hugs)))
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
All sources tell me that S9 will be at least two years behind his same-aged peers in emotional development -- and as he gets older that's becoming more and more significant.
I agree with that. Both mine are about 2 years delayed I would guesstimate. But they also seem to have periods where they really seem delayed, but then have rapid growth in learning, less even development than other kids I think. Not fair to compare them to other same-age kids.
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I need to be prepared for the distinct possibility that, much as I and S9 need for him to gain as much from scouting as possible, he might impede the progress of his fellows -- in which case I might then need to pull us out for the sake of everyone else. I really, really hope and pray that it doesn't ever come to that.
You see that as he might impede the progress of the other boys; I think he probably may help the other boys' progress. Many of the other GS with my dd help her, and you know they say the best way to learn something is to teach others (which they wind up doing sometimes). And the lessons the other kids learn I think is invaluable; patience, tolerance, and lots of positives. I believe D10 adds to everyone's experiences when she participates and when she can't so many of the other kids always ask why she can't and where she is and really seem to miss her. I'm sure your son is like that too.
