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LolaL Offline OP
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This is true. Sometimes you got to kiss a few frogs to find a prince. I am in no hurry. Actually, although I am lonely, its also not so bad. Not something I want to do forever, but...I would rather wait for the right person.


Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..

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I'm not too excited about the whole dating thing either right now. Like you, I don't know if that means I'm not ready, or just intimidated by it all. crazy

I went out on several dates with someone I found on match but finally ended it. She was completely in to me, but it just wasn't happening on my end. I really don't understand it because on paper she was everything I am looking for: similar interests, values and goals; successful careerwise; very attractive; etc. However there was just no chemistry for me with her no matter how hard I tried. frown

For me, I've decided to stop looking and not worry about finding someone right now. Of course that probably means someone will drop into my life next week and "rock my world"!! grin

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Well that would be the perfect scenario wouldn't it BA? The universe does tend to send people into our lives right when we stop looking!!! Kismet!


T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43
bomb12/4/07
PA5/07
S12/26/07
D final 11/17/08
Back together with no defined R 05/2010
confused....to say the least!!!

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M I think that is usually exactly what happens! I was totally out just to have fun and get out of the house when I met my (awesome) bf. I was dating several people casually and was pretty determined not to become attached to anyone.

When I went on my first date with bf we hit it off and it was like we had known each other for a long time and already were friends. I still continued to date other people and told him he was free to do the same. After several dates and talking on the phone every day we both knew that we didn't want to date anyone else. We are so compatible that it is scary! Lots of similarities in personality and just other stuff like we are both left handed, etc. Now that it has been almost a year, we will have funny stuff happen like we will be in he grocery store and be in two separate aisles and pick up the identical items for dinner or whatever. It is too funny!

As a matter of fact, he had given up on dating and just kinda sent me the email as a last ditch effort and didn't really expect anything back.

It's like when you stop looking, the right person will be sent to you!


"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out."
Robert Collier

"One's best success often comes after their greatest disappointments."
Henry Ward Beecher

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LolaL Offline OP
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That seems to be where I am. I just chalked it up to "I guess I better face the fact that I am going to be alone for a while, and accept it." I have been out on a few dates, and have not found that connection with any of them. I don't really think that its that I am not ready, I think I am just afraid. I have a sordid past (woohoo!!!) that can sometimes be difficult to explain (3 marriages, yada yada). I think part of that is finding myself not wanting to share all of that with yet another person. With the SG, we were friends first so he already new my history. I don't know. I am not really looking. Just keeping options open I guess!!!


Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..

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Don't we all have a sordid past... lol. I think by the time you're in your 30's or up EVERYONE has baggage. Heck, everyone has an ex or exes and kids and child support etc etc. The right person won't mind. My sis kept waiting for my bf to run away through all of the crazy stalker ex garbage, police, tazing, etc. etc. but he didn't. She finally said he must love me a whole lot to go through this circus! lmao. : ) I think I would've run away!!!

I think you have the right attitude.


"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out."
Robert Collier

"One's best success often comes after their greatest disappointments."
Henry Ward Beecher

me 33, s 9, d 4
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Actually you are on the right track I think Lola. My friends Cloud and Townsend (www.cloudtownsend.com) suggest that when you resume dating after D, you should date SEVERAL people, at the same time, to make sure you are getting out there and not just jumping into another 'relationship' in order to regain that sense of security lost in a divorce...

So keep sampling the buffet as my friends John and Kerry would say... smile


Me-35

Together: 18 yrs
M-12.5 yrs
S-8
D-4
D'd: Feb. 2010

The LORD your God is with you,
he is mighty to save. --Zeph. 3:17
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LolaL Offline OP
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I read something like that too, it is also geared to assist with the fear of rejection. I think it was a Venus/Mars book. It said that not only do you need to date, but to accept dates from people you would normally not date so you can get comfortable saying no, and having someone else say no. I have done both so far. I don't want to rush things. I want to do this the right way. I guess as pathetic as it is, I am on the right track!


Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..

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Yep!!


"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out."
Robert Collier

"One's best success often comes after their greatest disappointments."
Henry Ward Beecher

me 33, s 9, d 4
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Absopositively!


T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43
bomb12/4/07
PA5/07
S12/26/07
D final 11/17/08
Back together with no defined R 05/2010
confused....to say the least!!!

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