M41 H42 D17 Adopted N14 M22 T24 "Bomb" 4/07 Sep 8/07 Admitted OW 11/07(only to me) OW back 12/4/07 PA on off thru 7/08 says done w/OW but not coming home 8/08 D final 7/09 Moving on and up!!
You asked about MWG and Treese. MWG is still here, though not as much. She does have a thread that should be fairly near the top... oh, I see you found it!
Treese hasn't posted to her thread in a while, though she posted on IRMAC's in the past day or so.
Hey TOH....it's good to see you here..My kids keep telling me I need to get a FB...not sure Im ready for that because I would be tempted to look up H....well, maybe not...I just didn't need the temptation...but I think I might be ready to do it..
I'm glad to see you are where you are and as strong as you've become...I think some days I'm very strong and others, not so much...I realize it's a process and I WAS married for 25 years, it's not like it's going to go away in a few weeks...it is going to take a few years...I don't think H having a child I didn't know about has really sunk in....i only saw him once and he was 1 at the time. I don't know if I will ever be able to take that step...when I'm stronger maybe...right now...I'm very busy planning D23's wedding...it is getting close..time is flying by...we just posted her engagement announcement in the paper...H will see that soon...hasn't asked about any arrangements for the wedding or anything...didn't really expect him to though..he has really exited life as we all knew it..
I will never be able to explain it, or even try to...just that he didn't want to be married any longer.. I'm working on me...making me a better person...I'm calmer, more patient and we all know I had no patience...AT ALL!
I need to catch up on your thread....we pretty much had the same timeline.....I wish we could all have a get together and meet...I think it would be a blast...preferably somewhere warm...
Take Care....Treese
Last edited by Treese; 01/06/1003:26 PM.
Treese
H 49 M 45 D 23, D17, S12 M 25 T 31 01/07 OW H at my door w/proof Bomb ILYBINILWY 06/07 Sep 01/08 headed for the greener grass, Mar08.B#2H has child who is 9 11/08 pos.paternity
REALLY!?! My D18 hates that I have FB. She thinks "OLD" people shouldn't be on there. I like it to keep up with friends/family that I don't see or talk to much.
I so understand the time thing. I don't know if I'll ever get over xh. But I have to say, him being the man he is today helps ALOT. If he was the same man I was married to for so long, I would probably be still waiting, oh, I don't know. Someone asked me the other day if it was hard getting used to a new man and his ways after being M for so long. I said "no, not really because "new guy" and I have so much in common." she then asked do you think you'll ever be as close as xh and you? I said,"no, xh was my soul mate, no one will ever take his place".
Congrats on the upcoming M!! How exciting! How Fun!
It's so crazy how they just walk away, not so much from us but from their kids. I don't know about your H but mine was such a good dad. And D18 and him were so close. And now,...? I don't get it.
Hmm, the patience thing...well anyone that has read my sitch knows...But I have learned so much. So many changes. I don't argue anymore, what's the point. I don't yell. I try to never sweat the small stuff. I guess one of my biggest accomplishments is I've learned to let go of alot of my fears. Or conquer them, whatever you want to say. I used to be afraid of so many things around the farm. My xh was no teacher or guide. In the last year I've worked cattle a couple times. I can now get in a pen of cows and not be shaken in my boots. Quite the contrary. I've learned to run the loader tractor, I've hauled wagons with the tractor, lots and lots of new stuff. I missed out on so many things over the years. I blame fear, xh, timing, kids, but mostly myself. I always thought there would be another day. It didn't happen. So now, I'm not wasting any time. I'm taking advantage of each and every moment.
Quote:
I need to catch up on your thread....we pretty much had the same timeline.....I wish we could all have a get together and meet...I think it would be a blast...preferably somewhere warm...
I agree, fun!fun! and warm too!
take care Treese and best of luck to you, Teresa
M41 H42 D17 Adopted N14 M22 T24 "Bomb" 4/07 Sep 8/07 Admitted OW 11/07(only to me) OW back 12/4/07 PA on off thru 7/08 says done w/OW but not coming home 8/08 D final 7/09 Moving on and up!!
OMG....it's always some kind of drama...I posted it all on my thread....
I'm with you...I don't know that I'll ever love anyone as I have loved my H...he was so deep in my soul...I don't get how he just booted me out of his...sometimes he even forgets I was part of him...
My H was an awesome dad....we lived so much for our children...he was especially close to D17..they don't speak to this day...she says she feels weird around him...it's not her dad...My D23 says there's something wrong with him...but truly my children are what get me through the tough days...I just hug and love on them...H doesn't ever get that chance..that is a terrible shame...
Time flies....and I like you have learned to fix things, cut the grass, take care of my yard...all of it, and I'm quite proud of it...
Maybe I did need to slow down...maybe that's why it all happened, who knows...but I am calmer, more patient, and I dont yell or fight...I don't want to anymore...I want to be happy...I'm getting there...it's just those bumps, getting over them...
Take care...Terisa (Treese)
Treese
H 49 M 45 D 23, D17, S12 M 25 T 31 01/07 OW H at my door w/proof Bomb ILYBINILWY 06/07 Sep 01/08 headed for the greener grass, Mar08.B#2H has child who is 9 11/08 pos.paternity
So nice to hear from you the other half. You are a major success, look at all the hurdles you have survived. You have acceptance in your life, acceptance for what you have been through and acceptance as to the man your ex really is. Once we accomplish that, it is easier to move on.
It is hard to find the answers as to why we went through what we did. I know that if I would not have divorced my ex, I would be living on a park bench. The future does hold wonderful things for us, we just need patience.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
For those of you that remember, it's me theother half...
Okay, Having a little bit of a fall back. Feeling pretty down. So thought I'd come here to talk to those that understand. Well maybe.
New R is not going so well. He's a great guy, but, he drinks too much and works even more. Never any time to go play. I'm 43, was M for 23 years, raised my family, worked damb hard, now, i want some fun in my life. I am all about working, but you gotta have fun and enjoy life a little too. I miss soooo many things. Camping, family get togethers, etc... and I never realized how different we were until recently. I don't know, I keep telling myself that maybe it'll work. And he treats me wonderfully.
Then XH contacted me last weekend. After months and months of nothing from him. He called my phone (I did not answer) left a message of how he needed me to tell him it would be okay, how he misses me, how he just wants to go to sleep in my arms, blah blah blah. Yea well, it hurt, and it still hurts. Brought out alot of old feelings. I've had to face again how much I miss him and our life before MLC.
Just venting, gotta go tan, I'll be back. Thanks for listening dear friends.
Love, TOH
Last edited by TNT Broken; 04/21/1010:16 PM.
was theotherhalf M43 H43 M22 T25 MLC/OW bomb 4/07 Hmoved out 8/07 D6/09 Still trying to accept and move on...
TNT, Interesting; you are another one in a similar timeframe.
If you can't fix it w/new R, don't be afraid to be on your own for a while.
I think I would just let XH's comments slide off you. After all, did he consider your feelings when he made that phone call, all the pain he would stir up for YOU? No, he was needy and opted to call because it would make him feel better.
M: 16 years Bomb 4/07 OW 20s long gone Divorced 11/09 I remarried New Guy Cooperative r w/X regarding D
No, he was needy and opted to call because it would make him feel better.
LOL...not at all like...any newbie to DBing would do to the WAS or MLCer. : )
Jest saying.
The cool thing...is now you have some empathy in that regard.
You know I always figured it was hard for the MLCer to gather enough courage to come back...to even try and talk to the LBSer...something about overcoming pride and the judgement from others...huh...
I suppose you could ignore him. Really up to you to figure out what YOU want, right?
What do you lose by talking to him?
Last edited by Jack_Three_Beans; 04/21/1010:43 PM. Reason: the cool thing
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
I like it to keep up with friends/family that I don't see or talk to much.