Hello to all and again Thank you for your ear in my situation. Last night my 15 year old daughter asked me to watch her practice ballet with her mom being present. My wife seemed to be herself but I was very distant toward her. My wife is attending a 50th Anniversary party that I was not invited to. My wife told the hostess that we were separated. This of course hurts but I have not shown this to my wife. I have made plans to go to New York to see friends without her next week. I am now my own man and doing what I want to do without her input. I have no intention of having an extra marrital affair at this time. I will say I see less anger from her towards me but I am just doing the 180. I hope to be able to formulate a plan. Our son will be home for 2 week leave from Iraq next month. My wife should hear if she was accepted into the Dental Hygiene Program soon. Maybe there is some positive change but to early to tell. Bobby O.
Update. My wife seems to be doing things to get under my skin. She told me she is moving out and i found brochures on real estate property she is looking at. She also found out her sister is now having to undergo radiation this week. I am trying to be loving and supportive but she seems bent on leaving. I will let her go and if she does move out then I think the dye is cast and I need to move on without her. Bobby o
My wife gets under my skin just being around. I found in our computer's history that she is looking for places close to the OM.
I feel for you so much. It is good that you are taking a trip to have sometime to yourself. I wish I could do that to, but financial reasons make that impossible, and my kids are 4 and 8, and I don't want to leave with the possibility of her taking them to see the OM. I have to protect the kids from the affair.
It is good that you have no intention of having an affair. I am of the mindset that I will not have a R unless the divorce papers are signed, and I know for the sure it is truly over. You can never change having an affair once it happens. I would feel that I am no better than my W. I have not read your whole sitch, but keep taking care of yourself.
I wish I could take advice better than I am trying to give it.
Keep positive!!!
ME-41 W-33 M-8 D-8 S-4 D 5/17/2010 www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1961097#Post1961097
Hello to all. My saga continues. I went to my lawyer who told me that I should let my wife file if she wants out of the marriage. In the mean time I went to New York this weekend to see some childhood friends and show my wife that I am moving on with my life. She asked if I was going to NYC and I said yes and she appeared sad. I did invite her to go with me a month ago but she said no. I have received phone calls from her sisters asking if I was okay and that they felt I was doing the right thing by going away. I do miss my wife and my son will be home from Iraq on leave in the next few weeks. She has not tried to contact me and I likewise have not called her. I hope this 180 works and somehow she tries to come closer to me. Time will tell but I do believe in this marriage program. If I could get my wife to agree; I would go to a meeting with Ms. Davis. I have so much faith in her program and the Lord. Well will see what happens and I do appreciate the responces. God Bless All. Bobby O
Hey Sande2, Got back from New York and got the interrogation of my trip from my wife. I assume she still cares for me because if she did not then why bother asking. She seems somewhat sad and angry and I think she has been crying. She seems very distant to me today.I am feeling better about myself and believe she sees I am moving in a different direction. I hope she will come around. I appreciate your help and do take your advice. Bobby O
The plot thickens. My wife called me yesterday and asked me if I filed for divorce. I said no. She said she will wait 2 years until she completes school and then will move out. She told me not to get my hopes up that this is a good sign. I wonder if I can get her to move in my direction. Any help?
I would let your W know that living in a celibate R as roommates will not work for you for two years. She is simply keeping her life as easy as possible while she finishes school.
Let her make the choice but if she chooses not to work on the marriage there is not a reason in the world for her to live with you for the next 2 years. IMO she is simply using you for housing and to maintain a certain level of financial and emotional comfort (on her terms).
The plot thickens. My wife called me yesterday and asked me if I filed for divorce. I said no. She said she will wait 2 years until she completes school and then will move out. She told me not to get my hopes up that this is a good sign. I wonder if I can get her to move in my direction. Any help?
Bobby O, This sounds similar to my situation. I think CG is giving good advice here.
Me: 45 WAW: 45 | M22 | T25 | No Kids Nov 09 W Filed | Dec 09 Separation Mar 17 2010 Divorce Papers Signed | Divorce Hearing Cancelled Moved back home May 2010 PA Confirmed June 2010 | W left Dec 7 2010
I would let your W know that living in a celibate R as roommates will not work for you for two years. She is simply keeping her life as easy as possible while she finishes school.
Let her make the choice but if she chooses not to work on the marriage there is not a reason in the world for her to live with you for the next 2 years. IMO she is simply using you for housing and to maintain a certain level of financial and emotional comfort (on her terms).
I agree.. That is just a load of crap and you do not deserve it.
M: 32 H: 34 S:5 D: 3 D: 1 Together 11 years Married 7 Bomb: PA/EA 8/13/09 (for 1 year on and off) ILYBINILWY: 08/09
"The end of suffering happens with the end of wanting." -Laura Munson
