beginning to see the real W

[Dr LOve]

THanks Day..

Pisces
By Rick Levine
It's difficult for you to stay discouraged, even if you bump up against some difficult emotions today. An old issue may resurface, making you feel insecure about your family or social relationships. But once you realize that the present circumstances are quite different from the previous ones, it's much easier for you to see the sweet potential rather than doom and gloom. Set positive intentions, but don't expect miracles

Doc

[MrBond]

Doc,

In our sitch, have you thought about being more "playful" with your W? Like actually taking the lead and do things that are a little more "sexual" towards your W?

The thing is that maybe she's looking at you to lead. Kind of like the dancing thing. She's looking for the strong male to lead. Right now it seems like you're waiting for her. Just my 2 cents.

Glad to hear school is working out.

[Dr LOve]

Tonight is my Aunts 80th B-day party. Let's see what happens..

Doc

[Dr LOve]

The party last night was nice.
Ar one point while gifts were being opened. I was sitting to the side of W and we were turned facing the head table. I put my arms around W and she didn't pull away. Now she didn't hold my hands or anything BUT she did not pull away or shift like she didn't want me to do it.
We are getting there.
Not to make "ezcuses" agian for her but she is under allot of stress money wise. But if it was really an issue she would be out looking for a job.

[Dr LOve]

JoJo you have mail

[MrBond]

Sounds great Doc.

Have you thought about turning things up a notch? Sounds like there's apprehension about you doing it.

[Dr LOve]

Sounds great Doc.

Have you thought about turning things up a notch? Sounds like there's apprehension about you doing it.

Yes Mr. Bond, Allot of apprehension. The problem with me is even though I do see positives. I don't trust myself. I don't really know if the positives I see are really there or just what I want to see.
One of my faults is that I Never forced me on a woman. I am not talking rape here, just sometimes I think when a woman says no at first, and sometimes a guy needs to push just a little. Of course there is the NO MEANS NO. But sometimes there is that no that means. "Well maybe". Do you know what I mean?
My problem is no means “no” no matter what.

She has not told me No but sometimes I feel she is just her cake walking and puts up with me because there is nowhere else to go.

[Concerned_Listener]

Doc,
I understand your fear, and live my own version of it. I don't think you're going to find indifference in your W. She's not sending those kind of nonverbals to you.

Is she sending hints of wanting to move forward with physical intimacy? Do you two have a good sexual history together? Is it a matter of "getting back on the horse?" Do you have a troubled sexual history, and must approach it differently?

CL

[Dr LOve]

I have no problems with intimacy in fact I think I may have an over active sex drive. Not proud of it but I have also fantasized about just having an affair. (I feel sorry for W (or whatever woman) I am finely able to release my pent up desires on because I am not planning on getting out of bed for at least a week)
But part of the problem I have is WAY back when this first started. (Over two years ago)One of the things W said to me was
"I only had sex with you becasue I felt I had to, I could not wait to get it over with"
But she also said allot of stuff back then like "I love the OM" and I don't know if me and the OM have a future"
So I don't know if it was the "fog" talking.
Now we were in different place. We are not the same people that we were two years ago.
When we first got married... There were nights that I had to beg wife to please let me sleep. (If I only knew back then).
Now wife has gone through menopause and I don't know if that is also part of the problem.

P.S Tonight is dancing with the stars and I am going to try again to sit with her…And think of you and your W dancing CL

[MrBond]

My T had a good talk with me about this. Essentially it's a matter of "there's nothing to fear but fear itself". I think I see in your sitch that you are so close, but she may be looking at you to lead. It could be that she is living with the shame of what had happened before and in some weird way is looking to you to see if it's okay.

She may not be picking up your "signals" and needs you to break through the ice. Now not saying you need to be forceful or anything, but I think if you pushed up the seduction and spun her around and gave her a passionate kiss or something that would "take her breath away" it might work.

To use the dance analogy, she may be looking to you to lead.