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LolaL Offline OP
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Mine too, although the new b/f is now just a friend. I guess it just didn't work out. But the Tween is doing well...glad that I am home from my weekend jaunt to PA!!!!!


Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..

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Would new b/f be the beefcake from the summer or is this someone else? And excuse me....why am I so lost about this????


T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43
bomb12/4/07
PA5/07
S12/26/07
D final 11/17/08
Back together with no defined R 05/2010
confused....to say the least!!!

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LolaL Offline OP
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No no its the Tween's b/f...lol. Her b/f of 3 months broke up w/ her last week and I was worried about how she would take it. She was fine, and got a new b/f the next day, but they decided they were better off friends.

As for me, I think I am swearing off men for a while. I am quite content just being me for now wink


Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..

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LOL!!!!!! Ok, duh! I was all excited for nothing. frown grin

You'll have to take a look at my thread and see who's come to roost. sick


T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43
bomb12/4/07
PA5/07
S12/26/07
D final 11/17/08
Back together with no defined R 05/2010
confused....to say the least!!!

Joined: May 2008
Posts: 4,715
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LolaL Offline OP
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Last night I dreamed the SG was dead.

In the dream, I cried, and searched for him, knowing I would never see him again.

I wonder if that dream signifies the death of the relationship. I mean, although most of the time I feel pretty good, every once in a while I do backslide into missing him.

In those moments, I wonder if I will ever get over him. But they are now becoming few and far between. Most of the time, I know that life goes on.

But sometimes I wonder...


Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..

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Hmm....haven't had that dream yet. Could be you processing the death of a dream/a life that you had planned. Cause even though he is alive, you probably don't think you will ever experience the same SG you used to know, again...

Sometimes I wonder if I will ever get over my ex, too. Just the other night I was driving with the kids and I saw a falling star and without thinking the wish I wished was that he would come to his senses and come home... blush It surprised me that that was the first thing that sprang into my mind when I saw the falling star...


Me-35

Together: 18 yrs
M-12.5 yrs
S-8
D-4
D'd: Feb. 2010

The LORD your God is with you,
he is mighty to save. --Zeph. 3:17
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Yeah I do that too. I was driving back from PA, and once again begging and pleading to God to pull the stick out of the SG's butt. And then, I asked for permission to just let it go, let him go, at least for a while. I don't want to feel like I have to worry about him. I don't want to think about him. I just wanted to have a break.

Maybe that was it. I don't know, but once I decided it was okay to take a break, and per se not give a flying hoot about him for a bit, it felt really good. I can honestly say at this moment I don't really care what he is going through. I don't want to talk to him, text him, nothing. It still vacillates though. I finally get to a point where I feel rested, and the dum azz calls again.

Methinks I need to stop answering the damned phone.


Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..

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Posts: 9,762
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Holy cow girl! Where you been???? What have you been doing?


T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43
bomb12/4/07
PA5/07
S12/26/07
D final 11/17/08
Back together with no defined R 05/2010
confused....to say the least!!!

Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 6,948
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Hope you are enjoying your break, but we miss you! smile


Me-35

Together: 18 yrs
M-12.5 yrs
S-8
D-4
D'd: Feb. 2010

The LORD your God is with you,
he is mighty to save. --Zeph. 3:17
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 4,715
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LolaL Offline OP
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Sorry, but Easter is kind of a sucky time of year now. Remember, it was when we found Kev last year. I just needed to take a breath and get through it. Of course, the actual date is still to come, along with the date he REALLY died vs. the date we found him, AND the last time I actually talked to him.

I mis my brother so damned much, and so yesterday I spent it blubbering like an idiot. I went to a friend's house for dinner, but she told me to stop crying because it wasn't going to get me anywhere. WTF?

The SG and I seem to be becoming friends. This is kind of odd for me, but I kind of like it. So I sent him a text yesterday saying that I missed Kev and that I guess Easter was always going to suck from now on. Remember, last year he completely blew me off, but he did send me a very nice text back, stating he really did not know what to say about the loss because it was such a hard thing to deal with, but that we should just keep Kevin close to our hearts.

No I am honestly not reading anythign into this, but I do have to admit it made me feel better. I realize that I do carry Kevin close to my heart. I miss him more than anyone. But having had Kevin as my brother has affected my life in so many good ways, I was privileged to have him as my brother.]

Anyway, if I am quiet the next few days that is why. I am just trying to muddle through until the 12th. The first hurdle is done, but I still have a few more days.]

PS I will damned well f*cking cry if I want to. I am really plssed about that comment. B*tch.


Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..

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