In my case, nothing has been missed this entire school year. And it's more restful having them just stay here. They don't have to worry about repacking then unpacking, then filling W in.
That is good that you are responsible. My X is not. He would have them up too late (going to bed at around 10 pm when the S was in 2nd grade!). And for us it would have meant them bringing their backpacks to his houses, which usually results in stuff being misplaced. As it istands they do not pack anything for their weekends, except sports equipment that they may need. And last year that resulted in sons baseball cleats being lost mid-season and about 40% of the time all of the equipment does not make it back at the end of the weekend. Too much stress involved!!!
"You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf." Jon Kabat-Zinn
Ugh...I am determined to make it both pleasant and peaceful!
Can't talk now, lots of work to do, but quick recap of past 24 hrs:
*Kids arguing in back seat yesterday over whether or not mom and dad were still married; Sydney says we aren't & Nathan says we are...
*MIL went to Chernobyl Meltdown Level 5 yesterday b/c our custody agreements meant she didn't get the kids when SHE wants them for Easter (pretty sure there is no listing for Grandma in custody agreements!!)
*Sydney didn't fall asleep until 11 last night bc she wanted to be with her mommy, she wants me to come to her daddy's with her this weekend...
*Nathan came in and snuggled me this morning and said "Give me a big hug mommy it has to last me for 3 days"
*And the icing.........my principal called me in this morning to tell me with the budget cuts they are looking at making my ELL position 1/2 time. This is not great news! Although I have a small case load so it is entirely justified and I wouldn't fight it if they did, they have valid reason. She did say they were looking at my credentials to see what they could do with me the other 1/2 so hopefully I won't lose 1/2 my salary!!
Nik I have a 2 mile run today (today was a rest day but with the kids' state yesterday I used it for rest day and have to do the 2 miles today); tomorrow is a 2walk-2run-2jog day; Sunday is 3.5 run day. So 11.5 miles over the next three days. Actually I am looking forward to it.
(((((BobbiJo))))) I feel for your kids, but I have a feeling they will be doing better really soon! They have a great example to follow! I like Nathan's idea of the three day hug!
I hope your principal figures something out. I know they like you, so I wouldn't be surprised if they do. Try not to borrow too much trouble in advance, a lot of things can change before anything happens!
Sorry, to hear of the avalanche of difficulties. It is hard to do it all alone, and then to have all this other stuff fall on you! But you are a strong and smart one, BBJ. You will do better than survive it.
Crap. But you are a survivor. Your kids will follow your lead on things, so show them the way. "Yep, it has to last for three days, but you're going to be with your Daddy and that's going to be great! You need time with your Daddy and he needs time with you, too." "No, Nathan, we aren't married anymore but we are still your Mommy and Daddy and we love you. That's never going to change." I think I said stuff like so often that I may have even said it to the grocery store cashier in response to, "Paper or plastic?"
As for your MIL, tough cookies old lady! We reap what we sow, right? BBJ, I want you to sow a field full of good stuff, that's what you deserve and that's what you're going to get!
Good luck on the job front, I'm sending positive thoughts that all will work out well for you. But remember, there's nothing you can't handle.
Give yourself a break and realize that you don't have to like everything that comes your way. My therapist gave me that gift one day when I was telling her how much I hated that I would miss half of my kids' days. She said that I probably wouldn't ever like it, that I didn't have to like it -- I only had to accept and deal with it. It was such a relief to me and I remember those words often. My Dad's dying of cancer. I don't have to like it, probably won't ever like it. But I do have to accept it and deal with it. Half the battle removed.
((BBJ))
Me: 42/H: 37 T: 10 years/M: 8 D9, S8 Bomb: 7.23.07 Separated: 1.20.08 D Final 3.19.09 Affair started in '05, found out parts in 11/07. They married 11.26.09
The budget thing is going to have over everyone who is on a public payroll. What does ELL stand for?
My girls are getting used to it. Because of the after-school schedule I see them at least for an hour 12 out of 14 days so they never go too long without seeing me.
It's going to be tougher in the summer. I'm hoping to sneak extra time in.
I hope it was a really good three-day hug.
Me: 47, Ds 17-13, D final 6-11 http://tinyurl.com/yk4e2tz http://tiny.cc/thread2 http://tinyurl.com/ydtphqu http://tinyurl.com/thread4 http://tinyurl.com/3sm78k6 http://tinyurl.com/thread6
Thanks guys! I told the kids several times how exciting it would be to stay at daddy's new house, how much fun they would have, etc. I know he got a nice new flat screen and has a blue-ray dvd player now. So I told the kids how awesome Movie Night (Friday is always movie night) would be at daddy's with the cool tv...they were excited too.
Nathan sleepwalks though, and he did say last night he was afraid he would sleepwalk at daddy's and fall down or hurt himself bc he wouldn't know where he was...but I told him Daddy would be there to keep him safe and pretty soon he would be familiar with daddy's house so he wouldn't have to worry about waking up and not knowing where he was...
The argument in the car started when Nathan pointed out a Mexican restuarant with graffiti on it as we were driving from Papillion to Omaha (Papillion is the suburb where there dentist is)...
Anyway Nathan said the restaurant looked yucky w/graffiti and I said, "It used to be nice, your dad and I would go there all the time when we were dating." I don't know why I said it, it just came out. It was a cute little family owned place with a Mariachi band, lots of fun and cheap food.
So Sydney says, "You and daddy aren't dating anymore cause you got married. But then he left you like in Taylor Swift's song"
(Have I mentioned the girl is smart and that she listens to the actual storylines in music! )
So Nathan says, Daddy did NOT leave mommy.
They bickered about whether he left me or not and I said, "Nathan what does "left" mean to you because you do know Daddy moved out..."
He said, "Yeah he moved out bc you argued but he didn't leave you. When you leave someone it means you got a divorce and you didn't get a divorce."
I asked him what he thought of divorce and he says, "I don't like it. God says when you get married you are married forever and mommy you told me that, too...God wants you and daddy to be married forever."
I started a follow up comment and he said, "I want to talk to SYDNEY" and turned away from me and started a new subject.
