Into my arms... #70

[Butterfly1]

You two are doing amazingly well. Look how you handled this differently. You're both really trying to hear each other and respect each other.

[Kalni]

Hi girls,thanks for stopping by,

I had my blood tests today and then ate spinach, nuts, vitamin C, and folic acid, iron in a tablet, I rested the whole day and now I feel better.

I had laser done on my face today, something I wanted to do for ages. I used to have nice skin and I got some dark skin scars on my cheeks that I hated. So now, I look like I have some terrible skin disease but hopefully the result will be worth the embarassement...

My dad stayed in the hospital today, he will have chemo done tommorow. My mom just got back and she called him and they way they talked to each other... ahhh, so romantic, the tone of her voice, the devotion, the love... I listened, "thirsty" to have some of that kind of deep feelings brush off on me... (excuse my English).

I used to believe I wasnt romantic. 1,5 years ago, I finally accepted romance is part of my personality, behind the control freak mask, the realistic, pragmatic, cynical approach I have, I am just a fool for romance... And who ever is with me, needs to accept that.

H and I had another "fight" on the phone. About how did I chose this doc for my skin. Truth is my criteria were recomendations and ...location. She is close to my house. With H working every single night, if I want to do anything while the kids are at home, it has to be close so I can bring them along or leave with my mom or something. He started saying this isnt the case. I said, it doenst matter what you say, facts are that my life is adjusted to your schedule, I didnt choose it, you cant change it, but at least accept it and lets see what we can do about it.

3 years ago, I wouldnt have said anything, not to make him feel guilty but I would be sitting in anger and bittereness, everytime I couldnt find a gym the hours that matched the babysitters hours, everytime I was using my parents, everytime I would miss an event etc etc.

Now, I make things happen, dont expect anything from him, but wont take any BS either... I am happy this way.

Sprign is here and I feel like getting...pretty and fresh and taking care of me. FOR me. Need to loose 2 kilos to be my ideal weight IMO, and once I get this iron thing fixed, I will start somekind of activity with my kids to get my body ready for the beach...
K

[rockedworld]

Good for you Kalni! You sound like you have grown so much and learned to take care of YOU!

[smith18]

Just remember, Michele states that what couples fight about 40 years into a marriage is the same thing they fought about when they were just starting out. The key you are finding is to gain acceptance that H and you have differences and will occasionally bump heads as most everyone else does.

It is great that you are taking care of yourself. Just keep taking the vitamins. I take them every morning - multi vitamin, fish oil and an aspirin. And I have the kids take a multi vitamin (gummie bear).

[flowmom]

Kalni, see if your local health food store has Floradix iron supplement liquid. It's in an herbal formula that helps with absorption.

I wish your father well, and all of you who care about him.

Romance...yes I'm a sucker for it. I know I'll be getting my fill in this thread if I hang around long enough

[MichelleLT]

Thinking of you, your father, your family.

So glad H was tender and caring when he got home.

SO glad you are taking care of you and making things happen.

(((Maria)))

[Dr LOve]

“I had laser done on my face today, something I wanted to do for ages”

Wow we are allot alike. I had this bad tooth in front that was damaged in the car accident I had years ago. It was all Brown. It bothered me but I always let the family (and wife) come first. But a while back as part of my “Galing” I decided to get it fixed. (This was before I lost my job)...

“The control freak mask, the realistic, pragmatic, cynical approach”
Ok now you are talking about my Wife….

“H and I had another "fight" on the phone. About how did I choose this doc for my skin?”

I don’t understand your H. There is no way I would tell my W what doctor to see. (Like she would listen to me anyway).
But the point is I would want her to feel comfortable with whatever doctor she was seeing for whatever reason.
You are talking about your body here. If you went to a doctor that you were not comfortable with there is a possibility that you would leave things out and not discuss them if there was a problem,

I sure hope things go good with both your dad and your marriage. I have been at it a little longer than you and I know all of the ups and downs. During the last two years along with the Bomb both my mother and my MIL were hospitalized for a while. Heck even I was put in the hospital with a double hernia. That seems like a long time ago and I have grown but (and I think I posted it here back then) I was actually afraid to put my wife’s name down on the form before surgery designating her to decide if something went wrong to pull “the plug”.
That is how bad off I was. But I have evolved, Grown... In GALing in the beginning I faked it. I went out and pretended to have a good time and it was not working. It frustrated me. What I had to do was actually Get A Life. IT’s hard when you have been married for so long you consider your spouse like a part of your body...
But I am there I did it… The other part “Act as if” does not work. You can’t “Act” you have to become a person that actually thinks “As IF”... I think you are there. You can’t let your life revolve around your husband’s schedule (Within reason). You can’t really expect anything from him. Not just say you don’t expect anything.

Take care Kalni.. This is “Our year” Don’t stop believing….

Doc

[Kalni]

Good Morning guys and girls,
back to work day and I have dizzy spells again. My blood tests showed my Fe/iron is normal, still waiting for my feritin and something else. If these are all normal, I wouldnt be surpised if I have something growing in my head . In which case I better throw a mean MLC and FAST!!!

I got my bonus today. Paying off all my debts and having some extra cash to spend on me for Easter. As of April 25th, I am starting a savings plan, direct deposit from my pay-check to an account I cant touch. It will be first time I will be debt free since 2007 after he left. And not because of him. Because I have controlled my shopping urges and I am being careful.
Funny, I have subscribed to that newletter for men "David something", one I read a few days ago it said "if your wife overspends because of the thrill of buying and not because of what she buys, then you are facing a crisis in your M". So true about me. I used to have to buy something, anything if I couldnt afford to, a bob bon, a magazine, anything to get through the day...

Anyway, my dad stil in the hospital, I had a heart to heart convo with mom, validating her feelings and telling her how much I appreciate how she supports my father. I think she felt better after that.

Dr.Love, he didnt try to tell me which doc to visit. He wanted to tell me he was worried if she was a good one and where did I find her. He is in NO WAY controlling in anything like that. He never was. I have enjoyed great freedom and respect all our common life together. Something HE cant say about me

Today was the first day I missed him a little. And I told him so on the phone. I felt his smile all the way to my office and his voice got giggly etc etc... He said "oh that is good news!!"
K

[Tomato]

Have a wonderful day K.

Prayers for your father as I know that is a difficult thing for your family.

t

[john210]

<<if your wife overspends because of the thrill of buying and not because of what she buys, then you are facing a crisis in your M">>

NOW you tell me.....XW really went nuts in a one year span. Not sure she is up to those levels but my bank account looks alot better