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Forward,

Going dark does help. The more time away from ex the clearer I see the situation and those emotions don't cloud my judgement. My ex is planning another vacation with OW and my kids. He just came back from a cruise with her. It is endless. If he has credit, he travels.

We just have to accept the fate we have and do the best with it. I know that eventually sin has to catch up to the sinner. I will just watch from a distance as I grow stronger and more independent each day.

Take care


Me: 46 H:44
Together: 25 years
Married: 20 years
Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07
OW: EA began 2005
PA began end of 2006
3 children,20, 16, 6
ex asked for forgiveness
01/16/11

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Trusting, It sounds to me as if it is an attempt to keep up some fantasy. Probably real life is not so fun, so maybe a vacation will solve it.

I don't have much new to talk about. I am busy. Feel less stressed about work, although I suppose I should be more stressed these days, sigh.


M: 16 years
Bomb 4/07
OW 20s long gone
Divorced 11/09
I remarried New Guy
Cooperative r w/X regarding D

Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,071
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X looked very sad today. I felt sorry for him.

However, I have simply let him be.


M: 16 years
Bomb 4/07
OW 20s long gone
Divorced 11/09
I remarried New Guy
Cooperative r w/X regarding D

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Posts: 1,557
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Forward, don't feel sorry for someone who got what he wanted.

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BH, Not wasting my energy on that.

X sent me a note talking about D and how cute she is, blah blah.

I am choosing not to respond as there is nothing to respond to.


M: 16 years
Bomb 4/07
OW 20s long gone
Divorced 11/09
I remarried New Guy
Cooperative r w/X regarding D

Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,071
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Well, X wants to go with us to a school thing. This caught me off-guard. I guess it is good that he shows more interest in D, but I find myself skeptical and wary of him.


M: 16 years
Bomb 4/07
OW 20s long gone
Divorced 11/09
I remarried New Guy
Cooperative r w/X regarding D

Joined: May 2006
Posts: 1,557
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Forward, why does he want to go? Has he ever done this in the past?

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I don't know. I asked him if he wanted to because I felt it is an obligation on my part.

He has gone maybe once or twice, and he never spends more than ten seconds extra with D unless he is obligated to do so. So this is a unusual. I distrust him.

I figure maybe he is trying to establish a better track record as a parent for custody? We are D'd now so that is kind of a nonissue, but that is about all I can think of.


M: 16 years
Bomb 4/07
OW 20s long gone
Divorced 11/09
I remarried New Guy
Cooperative r w/X regarding D

Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,071
F
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Oh, I meant to add that I've now been dark about 3 months.

Again, not looking a reaction from X...I am more in a situation where I am thinking things over and healing. I realize I have grown a great deal in this time.

Dark has been good for me.

Last edited by forward; 03/18/10 10:50 PM.

M: 16 years
Bomb 4/07
OW 20s long gone
Divorced 11/09
I remarried New Guy
Cooperative r w/X regarding D

Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,071
F
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X not only showed up, but paid an outstanding bill for school thing. In general, this surprised me.

As I mentioned, I distrust him and feel it could be an angling for revised custody situation, which I am wary of, but D was happy that he was there and I am trying not to be distrustful.

And I caught him looking at me again in that way.

I was, however, neutral and preoccupied w/D.

Another reason to be skeptical is that the last thing he mentioned is an outstanding issue from our divorce, and I think he might be looking to buy house w/OW.


M: 16 years
Bomb 4/07
OW 20s long gone
Divorced 11/09
I remarried New Guy
Cooperative r w/X regarding D

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