Way to be inspiring for me...writing out goals...I keep saying I need to do it I NEED TO DO IT. I know you're more likely to achieve your goals if you write them down.
So, today is the day the kids start moving into their dad's house...
I was kind of excited about it in a random way...I like to declutter, and I like making lists/prepping. (I know, I am weird!) So I had their 2 suitcases packed with clothes Monday. Dan said he was going to take today off and be working to get the house in order more...basically for today we agreed to leave our homes accessible to each other. So he could get some stuff out of my garage (YAY!!) and I could drop things off for him if I felt like it--again I was glad about that bc I am clearing space in my house.
Well I packed up some photo albums I had put together way back last year, taking duplicate photos from over the years of the kids/Dan and putting them in albums for him so I could keep the originals. And I boxed up a few framed pictures of his extended family we had taken when Sydney was a newborn, and a couple pics of the kids together. I also stuck the Couple's Devotional Bible in there that his Uncle, a Pastor, gave us when he performed our wedding ceremony. (Couldn't resist that one, besides why would I keep a gift from his uncle with our names and wedding date embossed on the Bible cover?)
I also grabbed Nathan's framed Star Wars poster from Disney World, and I ran that stuff over on my lunch break. Dan and I agreed when we talked Monday night that it would be good for some of the kids' things (like the poster and some pictures) to be up in the house when they get there tonight...
So I ran up to the house and put the box and poster/frame in the front entryway. It is an open design so I could see into the living room. He has a new leather couch with a chaise on one end, which I have always wanted for sitting and reading. And a 36" or more flat screen tv with a new fancy tv stand. There are tubs in the living room presumably from MIL with a bunch of brand new barbies and toys for Sydney and Wii games and Legos for Nathan. I shouldn't let it bother me, but it did...I admit it.
I am not someone who is into material possessions, but still it is tough to see him with a flat screen, a blue-ray dvd player, a Wii, leather couches, etc. I can't and won't compete with that. Have to trust that my kids love our home because it is in fact a home, where we spend time and make memories together. And of course I want them to do that with their daddy, too.
I am sorry. (((((BBJ))))) You wanted these things with Dan, in a life that you had created together. Hard to see him get these things on his own. They are possessions afterall.
You are making a life for you and the kids based on who you are. Things don't define a person. He did however have to furnish his home and he chose to go the new stuff route probably with the help of his Mom. I do expect the kids to be a bit excited by all of that at first, so don't let that bring you down.
You are doing a great job. Now go grab a pint!
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
BBJ, those kids know who the rock and warmth and stability in lives are. They are not deceived by all these things he thinks symbolize permanence. Their home is with you and no big screen tv or tub full of Barbies is going to change that. Goodness, you know how quickly all that "new toy" stuff wears off on kids.
Yeah, I think what bummed me out more was the stack of mail/bills on his entryway ledge. On top there was a receipt from a hotel in Bellevue (25 min from here, where he works) dated 2 weeks ago. Ugh! Why did I have to see it??
Doing the math, he has been living at his mom and dad's so he doesn't need a hotel room! If he hooked up with a girl locally, he could go to her place. So it is probably ow from KC. Ugh......I may be wrong, but I just do not want her anywhere near my kids.
And before y'all 2x4 me, I realize we are divorced now and he is free to date anyone/everyone he chooses. I just know of all people in the world to have to deal with as we rebuild our lives separately, I don't want HER in the mix...
But doesn't that answer all the questions? She was never really out of the picture. You were always fighting her not just his wishy/washy, oooh, I can't get over the past because you were so terrible BS.
A small 2*4 - I have this image of you doing a bit more peeking through HIS windows than a normal non-obsessed person would do.
Maybe when he takes the parenting class, he will be scoping out the new single ladies in the class. I know that I did. Did you chat with any interesting guys at your parenting class?
