Coffee pot is on with a nice Dunkin' Donuts Dark...mmmm tasty...anyone else???
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
Thriller...lol. Usually they only play it at Halloween...
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
So the SG called yesterday. It was a great call, and reminded me of who he was when we got married.
Made me a little sad because I realize that person is gone. I didn't get depressed, and pretty much put the call out of my mind. I was worried that the first call I got from him post-divorce would send me spinning, but was very pleased to find out that it really didn't.
A year ago, I would have tried to overanalyze the call, but I realize how far I have come and that I don't do that anymore. I have to say I am so glad that part of my life is over.
I do still love him, but I also realize that there is still life to be had after the heartbreak.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
I have been having some trouble registering my car in NY because it is in his name. Texas does not issue a title until the car is paid off, and because it still has a car payment on it, there is paperwork needed from the company that holds the lien. This could potentially take months, and the registration is already expired. So I sent him the registration and a check by express mail so he can get the registration from Texas, and until I get all the paperwork I need from the bank at least I won't be driving an illegal car.
He called because he said he waited two hours at the post office to get the letter. Now, this does not make sense to me because it was not certified, did not need a signature, but on the other hand I am not sure if a signature is needed for something sent express mail.
SG was laughing, joking, and telling me he know I did it on purpose just to give him a hard time. I, of course, shot back that he knew me so well, I did send it like that on purpose just so that he would have to wait in line at the post office to pick it up.
Then he asked me how I was. Told him I was great, doing really well. Then he asked me how the Tween was doing, my dad, yada yada. Told me he has an appointment this week to take the polygraph for the El Paso police department. Asked me how I like my job.
For just a moment, I saw the man I married, someone who was not concerned about himself, but who wanted to know how I was doing.
Regardless, I am not falling back into the trap. I have come too far to put my life on hold again.
At least, I am going to try to keep telling myself that.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
Those conversations have to be hard. W and I don't have those kind of talks. She never shows any interest in what I'm doing whatsoever. I don't know if it's an act or if I'm that dead to her. She'll try to slip in stuff about her life and her job and her family and, ever since Jan. 1, I just go completely silent when she does that.
I know it's petty and I need to grow up a bit, but I'm still not ready for some unemotional friendship.
I had a friend tell me she's been divorced six years and is completely over any of the old feelings. She even knitted a sweater for the baby her ex is having with the GF he left her for.
She wanted to show her kids how to be the bigger person.
I just thought wow. I don't know if I'll ever be there, but it will be hard on my kids if I don't figure something out.
You are obviously doing better than I am, but you are farther down the path.
Me: 47, Ds 17-13, D final 6-11 http://tinyurl.com/yk4e2tz http://tiny.cc/thread2 http://tinyurl.com/ydtphqu http://tinyurl.com/thread4 http://tinyurl.com/3sm78k6 http://tinyurl.com/thread6
SG and I have always had decent communication, other than the last few months we were married, and during some of the aftermath. But most of the time we really talk well. Of course, most of the time the talk surrounds what he is doing, what woes he has, etc. to which I do the typical womanly "uh huh" and leave it at that.
The thing is in all honesty, there really is no reason for us to talk. We don't have any kids, all property has been separated, and any conversation about the bankruptcy could be done through email.
At some point, SG was my best friend, as well as my spouse. I miss that a lot, but I am not so sure I would be able to handle being friend with him down the road. Things are still new, but I know at some point we will both meet other people. Keeping in contact w/ him just won't be the best option.
I have 3 exes. I don't have any contact w/ the first one at all, the kids are grown and there is no reason for me to stay in touch.
I do talk to XH because of the Tween, he is her dad, but even that is limited now that she is old enough to tell him what is going on. We talk maybe once a week, usually when I go to pick her up at his house on Sundays. It is always brief, never asking how the other one is, but mostly just about the Tween. We have a decent working relationship, but there is no point.
I know for me, it is because I still love the SG that I still answer the phone. Eventually that will subside (I hope) and it won't seem so important. I did it last weekend when he called, didn't answer, didn't call back.
In the meantime, I am going to enjoy my life and the Tween, and worry about what else could possibly happen when it happens, rather than looking at the future.
I do want to say, Cling, that it is a different story when you have children. And I have been doing this for, well geez, I guess going on three years now, so alot of the healing is done for me, and I am just moving into acceptance. I have discovered that sometimes, no matter what happens, you just have to have faith that there is a reason for it.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
