I think I'd rather be dead than this- WAW

[MrBond]

Well so far all of these are things that she has "made you feel". What have you done to get yourself in a better place in life? Sounds like you're still allowing her to control you. What have you done (outside of the R stuff) have you done for you? And I don't mean seeing a L.

What have you done to enrich YOUR life?

[Puppy Dog Tails]

The reasons I want to file for D:

-I've been consistanly lied to, cheated on, and betrayed by my W over the past three months.
-My W has told me repeatedly she is done with our marriage and will not reconcile. She has told me she has moved on and wants me to do the same as there is no chance for us.
-I'm tired of being the castaway. I don't even think I'm in limbo land anymore. She wants minimum to zero contact with me.
-My life style now in this sitch seems unhealthy and unconducive to my attending school and moving forward with my life.
-I can't stand the thought of staying married and sharing my last name with someone who has no interest in preserving the union that gave her that last name.
-I deserve better treatment than this and I feel like I am being made to look like a fool by the person I care(d) about the most.

I have a list I made a while back and these are a few of the reasons on it.

It's obviously your call. But I don't think you're doing it for the right reasons.

Re-read your reasons, and the reply you got just before mine. You're certainly JUSTIFIED, don't get me wrong. I just don't think you're making this from a healthy place.

That being said, strategically, it may be the ONLY thing that gets her attention. It's obviously the very last hole-card we all have to play, and we must play it with much thought and prayer.

Puppy

[MrBond]

Puppy,

I'm interested to hear your take on my sitch when you have a chance. I don't know how or at what point your W started opening up, but I'd like to get your input as to whether or not I'm doing the right thing.

Thanks.

Sorry for the hijack.

[Quart9]

A few posts back I listed some things I have been doing for me to get me into a better place in life. Besides the horrible day I had yesterday, I am feeling pretty good.

It doesn't seem like there are too many 'right' reasons to get a D and it seems like making the decision to get the D can never really be made from a healthy place.

There's not much strategy in trying to get my W's attention by filing for D. She wants a D and I asked her back in Jan to hold off on following through with it.

I saw proof yesterday that W has been communicating with a L over the past couple of weeks. W and I spoke last night and she said that she has a referral for a L and, if I'm ready, she would like for us to meet with the L together at the end of this week to get the process going.

I think the D is going to get filed whether I do it or not. I have to look out for my best interests though.

[marriedCrazy]

I think the D is going to get filed whether I do it or not. I have to look out for my best interests though.

And that means that you DO NOT use her L. Get your own!

[MrBond]

From what I recall, the list you had centered alot around your W's actions and your reaction to those actions.

What have you done for you to get your balls back?

And I have to ask again, is there a specific reason that you're asking for spousal support especially since you don't have any kids?

[Puppy Dog Tails]

I think the D is going to get filed whether I do it or not. I have to look out for my best interests though.

And that means that you DO NOT use her L. Get your own!

Amen! Ditto, amen, and THIS ^ !!!!

Puppy

[Quart9]

The things that I have done to get right FOR ME:
-I've been going to an IC to work through my issues and my feelings about the end of our marriage
-I've been creating a better relationship with God. I've gone back to church, I've been reading the Bible, and started praying regularly
-I've done my best to GAL when I have time. I've reunited with some of my old friends and made several new friends
-I've become more active at school by talking and interacting more with people there and seeking out help from upperclassmen
-I've started a self help program on toolstolife.com and I'm learning and doing exercises from there to boost my confidence and morale
-I've been lifting weights and eating healthier
-I've been talking with my family more (I have kinda neglected for the past few years)

The most important thing I have done for me is...
I filed the petition of the big D yesterday.

I'm debating on having her served by the sheriff's office either at work or at home or by a friend.

I have a few things left at that apartment that I am going to try to pick up this weekend hopefully. And that will be it.

I am requesting spousal support because there is really no time for me to have a job while I am in school. I will go full time again next term and I will probably be putting in around 70 - 100 hours per week so I need the funds. We moved here so I could go to school - not so she could have an A. So why would I not petition for support? She would do it if the tables were turned. My L told me that my W might petition for it anyhow just because that is what many people do here. I will get temporary support for sure, but in the end it will be up to the court/judge to decide if it will be extended to half the time frame of our M.

This is not what I wanted 100% but I need to move forward with my life. Again, she has made it clear she never wants to reconcile. This may be typical WAW speak, but I can't wait around for 6 months to a year for her - especially if she is going on trips with this dude and banging him in the apt and bed we shared. F that. I need to be able to shift my focus back on school because this sitch has almost ruined my time there. I cannot focus on anything but this sitch and that has to change - my future depends on me getting through this school and at this point it is really all I have.

So we will see where it goes from here. I'm going to see my IC tonight and I will see what she says about it.

I may need to start a new thread?