I think I'd rather be dead than this- WAW

[Cautious]

You say you won't be around when their fantasy world crumbles. Are you wanting to get back together or are you wanting to move on? I know it's confusing at this point, but you pretty much have to decide one way or the other because it's going to be hard either way. And it's going to be even harder if you keep flip-flopping back and forth.

[Quart9]

Hi Cautious. Thanks for stopping by here and thank you for putting me in check with that question! I needed that.

It may seem like I'm flip-flopping and I guess I was for a while there. I even mentioned in a post I made earlier this morning that I still had a glimmer hope that we would reconcile - and I was ashamed of that.

Anything that has happened or I have found out in this sitch should have been the straw that broke the camel's back. The final straw, it seemed, was her admitting to the PA. Seeing the crap that I did today solidified it for me though.

I have no choice but to move on now. Absolutely no choice. She has made it clear she will never reconcile and I can no longer be made to look like a fool. I would love to hear about their fantasy world crumbling and I hope it does.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

I found out she is going out of town this weekend with the girls (she says).

I highly doubt it.

MOVE BACK INTO YOUR OWN HOME!

Puppy

Told you. I'm sorry. But at least you now know the truth.

What's the next step for you? how can we help?

Puppy

[Quart9]

Hahaha! Its funny that you posted that because the first thing I thought today when I saw the intinerary was, "man freak'n Puppy Dog was right!" I should have known better too but her lie was so convincing (she played me like a fiddle as she even called me by the pet name she has for me when she lied about where she was going a few weeks ago).

The next step is I'm going to the courthouse on Tuesday after class with the D papers I had my L draw up. I'm gonna see if she filed already and if not then I'm going to do it. I want her to get served at work. I don't want her to serve me.

I wish I could go tomorrow but I can't. After that I guess its just a matter of doing the best I can to make me a better person, move forward with my life, and pray she has to pay me spousal support for the next couple of years.

I'm open to suggestions though if you have any?

[Quart9]

Puppy - I hate to ask you this but - do you still think I should have moved back after this sitch has unfolded the way it has?

[MrBond]

Out of curiosity are you planning to look for a job? It kind of makes you seem like you can't stand on your own two feet. I don't mean for that to sound rude but if you were planning to try and get your W back (or not) that seemed to have been one of her gripes.

Even if you plan to go ahead and D, it might do you good to start fresh and not depend on her for anything. Personally, I think you should have moved back in to stake your claim. I mean she was withholding your mail and everything.

Sorry you had to go through that, it must've been really tough. I remember when I first found out about my W and the OM I literally through up.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Puppy - I hate to ask you this but - do you still think I should have moved back after this sitch has unfolded the way it has?

Yes, absolutely. It's your home, and you're not the one who wanted to end the marriage. It's more comfortable for you, it's the right thing to do, and it conveys strength -- all pluses.

Puppy

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Out of curiosity are you planning to look for a job? It kind of makes you seem like you can't stand on your own two feet. I don't mean for that to sound rude but if you were planning to try and get your W back (or not) that seemed to have been one of her gripes.

Even if you plan to go ahead and D, it might do you good to start fresh and not depend on her for anything.

AGREE 100%.

Puppy

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Quart,

Why are you going to file for divorce?

Please be specific.

Puppy

[Quart9]

The reasons I want to file for D:

-I've been consistanly lied to, cheated on, and betrayed by my W over the past three months.
-My W has told me repeatedly she is done with our marriage and will not reconcile. She has told me she has moved on and wants me to do the same as there is no chance for us.
-I'm tired of being the castaway. I don't even think I'm in limbo land anymore. She wants minimum to zero contact with me.
-My life style now in this sitch seems unhealthy and unconducive to my attending school and moving forward with my life.
-I can't stand the thought of staying married and sharing my last name with someone who has no interest in preserving the union that gave her that last name.
-I deserve better treatment than this and I feel like I am being made to look like a fool by the person I care(d) about the most.

I have a list I made a while back and these are a few of the reasons on it.