1) I'm actually a pretty nice guy and not the demon that I was made out to be!
phhhh....Eric....phhhh.....I am your fatherrrr!.....phhhh. Unless you are that guy, you are probably a pretty decent guy. Of course that guy's special powers were pretty cool...lol
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2) I say that I do not have patience - yet I'm still here almost 6 months later. FTR I never thought I would last more than 3 months.
Patience is the hardest and strongest of feelings!
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3) I am a pretty good dad.
Now become a better dad!
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4) I have a great heart and love deeply.
Now you can test it.
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5) I never really "worked" at the M but...I also never realized how much you have to.
Hindsight is 20/20...maybe you will get the chance to change that.
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6) I can change! 7) I will survive this!
Yes...YOU will!
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EA still kills me but this is her cross to bear not mine.
Very true
Jack-Who woulda thought?...things that make you go Hmmmmmm
Last night was very interesting. W came home and I tried to appologize and was given the finger and told "I'll talk to you later". I went to the gym with the boys and when I got home she was on the phone again with her EA friend. Who knows if it is a PA. I have to say that I bite my tounge but expect that she will contact a L in the next day or so (she is off on Wed and Thurs). She is completely disconnected and quite frankly I've really had enough of this. I do love her and my kids but I also love myself and I cannot continue to be treated like a piece of sh*t. I know that I am angry but I think I'm really getting close to the point that I am done. I understood that some of things that I did in the past were wrong. It is not MY fault that she did not have boundaries. It is MY fault that I did not work on my issues until now. She also spoke to her friend that directed her to a lawyer the last time. They have not spoken in a while so i suspect that she will move forward with the D if for no other reason but so that she can begin a PA with the EA person. Knowing her she would not want to sin against GOD by having a PA while she is married. So i suspect that by moving forward with the D she will at least have some piece of mind. I also believe that she will suggest that I stay in the house since she understands that financially it would make more sence. I am not sure I am ready to do that but if it means being with my D then I think I'm up for it. I will say that the phone calls with the co-worker are a little tough to handle but I know that this is a normal feeling that i am going thru. This grieving process really stinks. I am very close to contacting my attny and starting the process first but I will not do anything until I cool off.
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
Breathe and cool off...wait 24 hours. In my stich there were plenty of friends and the OP telling my wife that she needed to move out, we were the problem, and even sending ads for apartments for rent. These are all things out of your control....so as much as it sucks to see it....it has to be let go.
Going to the gym....good way to remove yourself from a bad situation....Kudos!
As far as being treated like crud last night....How would you have handled it if the roles were reversed? Would old Eric complained to his friends at the gym? Would old Eric been confided in others? I am not making light of her actions....but sometimes the hardest mile to walk is in some else's shoes.
I am calm - a little upset and fustrated but I am calm. I do understand that in these past 6 months I have felt what she probably felt for a much longer time. As so I do look at things from her perspective. The reality is though that the marriage, friendship, relationship is really over. We are just legally married. I have been emotinally and physically divorced since October. I will not file for a D because it is not what I want. But I will begin to live my life as if I was single. I will date and go enjoy myself. I cannot sit here a just wait while she is off emotionally (and who knows if it is physical) finding satisfaction with another. I am great Dad, I am a great person and I have learned so much about myself in this process. I know that the work that I need to do will continue but I just feel like I can no longer be treated like a doormate. I do understand that this is how she felt for a while but I find myself thinking...do two wrongs make it right. Probably not. I cannot change her but I can change myself, which I have done and will continue to do. At the end of the day, as I have said I will not file for a D but I also will not tolerate her antics any more. I will continue to be nice but also firm in any thing that I decide to do. I will not be spoken to as a child. Once again I take full responsibilty for my actions in the past but that should mean that I need to crawl into a ball and take all of her crap.
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
Okay so the dating thing may be a bad idea but I sure do need to get out and go enjoy myself. You I'm almost at the point where I really do not care if she files or not. I getting real close to just being done with all of this but I will not file. I will not file.....As lost wrote yesterday....psshhhh...Eric the force is with you....you can do this....
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
Quote: I cannot sit here a just wait while she is off emotionally (and who knows if it is physical) finding satisfaction with another. Why not?
Because I respect myself!
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
Bravo Eric. We never implied that you need to sit there curled in a ball taking it...You don't have to. What you can do is decide how you are going to deal with it;
a-detaching and being the better person b-being angry and striking back c-being domicile and a doormat d-being a controlling SOB E-All of the rest of the ways of dealing with it...
Right now you are choosing answer "a"....which I really feel will help you down the road the most....married or single...either way you are stronger and have dealt with your issues effectively.
