Hope your daughter is mending quickly. I like the way you handled the hospital visiting thing. Why should you do anything to make them comfortable?
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
I brought D14 home this morning. She is sore but compared to how she was at the weekend much better. The appendix was already gangrenous and necrotic when they operated so they had to give virtually all of her intestines a wash out to ensure that the infection didn't spread.
X continues to be a jerk but that's his problem. I've made it perfectly clear that he and MIL are welcome to visit D14 here any time they like. No one has mentioned OW (yet) but I'm sorry I draw the line at that. D14 is supposed to be at XHs next week. He is acting as if that will still happen but I'm not sure she is up to swapping houses. I will have a battle on my hands if I want to change things but I'm strong enough to hanlde it. He hasn't offered to let me go there to see her so that might be the deciding factor.
Yesterday OW sent pancakes into the the hospital for D14 which she had 'lovingly' made herself. I so wanted to throw the plate out of the window and tell XH to tell her to stick to worrying about her own chld and let me wory about mine. I didn't but it was v. hard.
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
Hang tough and stick to your guns! If your D is like mine, she will rather recover at home with mom. My D16 gave us a scare in December. I got a call from the school nurse who was convinced she had appendicitis. I took her directly to the E.R. and four hours later they discovered that she had ovarian torsion-----her ovary had twisted over itself 3 times. They were able to do emergency laparoscopic surgery to untwist and save the ovary. They said another hour and the ovary would have been dead and they would have had to remove it.
I told my H that I was taking her to the E.R. and kept him posted with any news----kept thinking he would want to be there with her, in case they did have to do surgery. He waited to come to the hospital until they made the decision to operate, so he didn't get to see her before she went under. When it was all over (6 weeks later) I commented on how our relationship was affecting how we parent (and we need help!)-----and I was quickly told that he wouldn't have come any sooner anyway.........which I don't believe. But anyway---she's all healed and fully recovered (recovered at home).
I know your D will be feeling better soon too! Probably a bit longer recovery given the shape her appendix was in-----so she will need and deserve a lot of TLC!
Me 45 M 25 yrs; T 31 yrs;bomb 8/15/06; moves out 7/18/08 D 18, D 14, S 12
D14 had to be readmitted due to severe vomiting and a wound infection. I just brought her back home today. During the course of this I discovered that XH had changed her address on all her medical details (although has not updated it since he moved again). When I took him to task on this he informed me he was her legal guardian! I would never have agreed to sign anything like that. I have my L on the case if only to prove to him that he can't just shut me out of my kids' lives when he feels like it.
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
I hope that your daughter will be feeling better soon. She's had a time of it. As for your xh, he's just plain crazy...legal guardian? I don't think so. You would think he would be focusing on his wife and new baby and yet, he's constantly at it w/you and his children. I do hope that you can get this straightened out once and for all. You need a break from the madness.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Thanks Snodderly. There is a fax on it's way to XHs L as I type regarding parental responsibility. I'm relieved to say that I was in the right and XH is very much in the wrong. It will be worth the money it cost to have the letter sent to let him see that he cannot bully me anymore and he certainly cannot try to exclude me from my children's lives.
D14 was really ill again last night. I joked this morning that she is allergic to this house as she always seem to start to vomit again when she comes home. I've spoken to the ward and have agreed to keep her at home for now and to speak to them again later. She must be feeling better as she has just had a nice long soak in the bath which she hasn't even wanted to entertain before today.
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
I do hope that your daughter is feeling better soon. I feel for her. If I recall, she's an active young lady and this has really brought her down. A nice bath is always helpful.
Good luck with the letter!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
