Forward's new thread

[fisherman]

LOL!!!

[forward]

Just had a row w/X. There was a mess-up so somehow my bill and his got entangled. I paid my part of the bill.

X somehow wound up paying both bills so the company got overpaid. However, since I got the receipt and item, I do not have a problem. Evidently, X has to spend his time straightening it out and is blaming me for loss of his precious time.

[braveheart]

Forward, he's an idiot.

[forward]

It has made me realize that I still get very upset by him.

However, I almost typed "he can still upset me." And I realized that I need to continue to work on myself so I am not upset too easily. I think that the limited contact w/X has been a good thing for me, maybe for both of us....

[forward]

I am noticing that X is starting to show flickers of maturity. It does not seem to be translating into interest in me, although I have cut contact with him, so it is not as if I have had the opportunity to interact with him much, at all.

Because my contact with him is cut to as minimal as possible, I can't really explain what it is that I see, but there is some progress. He seems more interested in D, more involved, more considerate of her feelings and well-being. He seems upset that I do not want to have contact with him.

And...he sounds more like "old" H. I can't really explain, as I said. It is a tone. Something in his voice and his eyes has started to change. I noticed that there is still adolescent entitlement in some of his ways, but it's less pronounced. I say this having just run into a stompity-stomp adolescent mini-tantrum earlier this week, but it was shorter and less furious than it used to be.

This doesn't change my course. The problem is that XH is more attractive now because the adolescent side of him is less pronounced. So, staying as dark as possible still seems like the best thing to do, so that I can focus on my own life.

[sleeper]

Forward, once again we live in parallel universes.

I too have noticed a change in X. She is calmer and more of her old self. It also seems her anger toward me is totally gone. There have been several minor miscommunications lately and she took them in stride. Even the children told me she is nicer and doesn't "yell" at them as much.

Here's the "coup de gras": Just this past week X mentioned to me she is "emotionally healthy now." (huh!?!?) I too need to be careful as I feel that old familiar twinge from time to time.

I gotta get a popcorn refill cause it looks like the show isn't over.

[TRUSTING]

I am in the same place. Ex has twinges of the old self, they don't last more than 10 seconds and the last time I saw one was in Nov. It makes it even harder to let go because you wonder, "Are they getting to be normal?" It brings back memories. I also wonder how they treat OW at this stage.

[peacetoday]

We are all in similar time frames in this ride

I have not seen or spoken to x since novenmber so I do not know if he is progressing
but it does seem like the MLCer will come into reality at times I noticed that before with my x
so you dont really know if its a momnet of sanity or real progression--
somehow ive gotten so skeptical of the MLCer prgression , so forgive me
I can also see how the x would becoem more attractive in this mature ( real or imagined) state'so be careful
chances are the refill of popcorn is a good idea
and
take care of yourself
peace

[forward]

Yes, I noticed that, too, Peace--similar timeframes.

I agree that the refill popcorn is a good idea. Even if MLC is something that is fairly predictable with a "timeframe," it doesn't mean that they will come back on bended knee.

I do think that perhaps my lack of contact w/X is bugging him.
For me, it is a change in dynamic as I am no longer the one who is hanging on and begging for a crumb of attention. I haven't been at "dark" for a very long time--just a few months. I try not to be an angry dark--just neutral.

D is leaving babyhood almost entirely now and I sometimes wonder what X thinks when he sees that.

[forward]

Sleeper, I think you mention what I observe as well. X is less furious w/me when I breathe.

What I find amazing is that there is this sort of "Gee, why don't you want to be my friend?" sort of attitude that popped out. "You don't seem to even want to talk with me!" Uh, no, I really don't. I'm not rude, I'm not angry, but I'm not open and interested and hopeful either.

I notice that X comes in the house when he really doesn't need to.

As with you, I notice that X has not done anything to shed OP, so I guess this shift is just something that I will quietly note.

Maybe your X is emotionally HEALTHIER but that doesn't make her HEALTHY.

Popcorn refill!