All of us care about others, and want to see people excel, and make changes, you included. We can't force you though, you'll have to find that in yourself to start.
I firmly believe that you have. Just posting here is that small step forward. Look at just that start, one small step, and build on it. You can do it!
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...I thought of volunteering in Haiti. But you know, that seems pretty ambitious. I don't even go outside now. That's a bit of a reach for me, honestly. I think maybe a smaller step might eb more appropriate.
I like that you posted this. Nothing wrong with a smaller step. How about seeing if your family that has taken you in can use some small things around the house, just doing the dishes and changing your perspective may be just another small step, but it's a step.
Then, how about checking local charity, church functions, homeless shelters, etc and volunteering? It doesn't have to be a job, but you'll get to meet some new people, and start to get out of the house..
Small steps, you have taken some first ones already, don't stop! You are worth it!
M: 41 STBXW: 41 D: 9 Bomb: 4/26/09
On board the D train now..
"Suffering is when we try to change what we cannot."
I think about leaving it all behind, pretty much every day; the only reason I don't, the ONLY reason, is that I think it would unfairly saddle my kids with guilt and shame. But it would be a huge personal relief to me. People say "it's the coward's way out" but I don't care much about that. It's a way out. I know how horrible the thought is.
GO SEE A DOCTOR NOW!GO SEE A DOCTOR NOW!GO SEE A DOCTOR NOW! and if you didn't get it the first three times, GO SEE A DOCTOR NOW! Don't worry about it costing money...the state messed up your life, it can pay to get you help.
Children of parents who commit suicide never really get over it. GO SEE A DOCTOR NOW!
Get your butt to the doc and get some short term antidepressants
re-read #1
You can do it. FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
Yes, please go to the doctor-- you need ADs stat! Re: volunteering-- if people are too much for you to deal with right now, the animal shelter might be the way to go.
M:47 M:18 D16, S19 1st S 1/08-5/08 Reconciled/May 7, 2008 Left again Nov 9, 2009 I Filed: Nov 17, 2009 Final: April 14, 2010 EX walked away from kids too
Nut is right. You need a professional on your wide to help you through this situation. There are so many people here that want to help you, but you've got to make the step to first help yourself. You're right, your kids are a good reason to not give up. They deserve to have you around, and to have you showing them how to fight back from adversity. They are watching, and they need you.
I don't remember reading about whether you have consulted your family doc about meds, but they could definitely help slow down the obsessive thoughts that torment you.
I too am saddened to see you this way, but I understand why you are there. I am going to be like Nut and keep on you as well.
You were there for me at my darkest of times and did nothing but support and kick my ass when it was needed. Now, it is my time for you, my friend.
Your drive is lost and your heart and spirit are broken. Get your bike out and ride. I don't care if you are clean or not, but get on some clothes and shoes and go ride. Ride until you feel like stopping.
Do it for yourself. Do it for your kids. Just go ride again...even if it is just around the block.
Push the petals. Get it done. Just do it!
You came back for a reason and we're here to encourage you to move.
Go for a ride, my friend. Find a way to get it done.
You were railroaded by your ex. Betrayed by someone you felt was your best friend and love of your life. She created an image of someone who isn't and never was you. She won.
Now you are letting yourself become the "loser" that she has told the world you are. You are becomming that person to your children as well.
You are making a choice to have her decide who you are.
I do agree that you need to see a doctor as well. You are depressed and need to get moving. If you don't feel as if you can see one today, then don't.
However, just sitting and doing nothing isn't a solution. Get on your bike. Get up and out the door, my friend. You've allowed your emotions to go dormant, but it is time to let them come back out again.
Go for a ride or for a walk. Even if we only do 10 steps to the mailbox and back today, that is an excellent start. We'll just look for 11 tomorrow...and 12 the next day, and so on.
Get up and go outside. Walk or ride. Your choice, but you have to get outside today and start getting yourself back.
Start small, but START TODAY!
You are worth it. We know that here, now it is time for you to refresh your own memory of who you really are.
