Because we are at a point where time is running out to meet and execute the remainder of our Agreement via the courts and waiting a week is a luxury neither of us have right now.
Trust me - after the BS he just e-mailed me I would like to tell him to never e-mail me again. Until all things are settled that is not an option.
He just now told me that I don't understand his "pain points", stress or frustration. He is right. I don't. Because I can't mind read and can only work off the info he chooses to share with me. That is exactly how I responded and he then says "stop making me feel like a jerk".
Again, just like it has been for the past decade - he gets upset because I don't know what he is feeling and I can't guess. In turn, I am the "bad guy" because of this.
Life is too short to get treated this way. We all need to respect ourselves enough to let go, completely, of people who don't value or respect us. [/quote]
I gotta get here!
M44 H41 M20 T23 3 older teens Bomb Nov 09 "i'm not happy" EA Nov 09 w/coworker Another PA in Mar 10 I Filed Apr 10 D final Dec 10
Because we are at a point where time is running out to meet and execute the remainder of our Agreement via the courts and waiting a week is a luxury neither of us have right now.
Trust me - after the BS he just e-mailed me I would like to tell him to never e-mail me again. Until all things are settled that is not an option.
He just now told me that I don't understand his "pain points", stress or frustration. He is right. I don't. Because I can't mind read and can only work off the info he chooses to share with me. That is exactly how I responded and he then says "stop making me feel like a jerk".
Again, just like it has been for the past decade - he gets upset because I don't know what he is feeling and I can't guess. In turn, I am the "bad guy" because of this.
Then just do what you think is right, and let him think what he will. You don't have any control over his thoughts, feelings, or actions anyway...so why bother? You already know this. And I know it's upsetting...you have a conscience!
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
What he thinks is really not my issue. I should not have to keep exposing myself to his ways but I do have to or else we will be looking at another round of attny's fees to complete the execution of the Agreement. I don't have the money to do that so in some capacity, until this is done, I must converse with him when totally necessary.
As I told him. You are asking me to take things into consideration that I am not even aware of (his pain, sadness, frustration, stresses). How am I expected to consider those things if I don't know what they are?
IMO that is not an unreasonable query to make. Yet somehow such a reasonable query is me MAKING him (wow, I must be powerful!) feel like a jerk.
Now, despite the fact something HAS to be addressed before the close of business today that I cannot do on my own due to joint ownership, he will ignore me to prove his point.
As I told him. You are asking me to take things into consideration that I am not even aware of (his pain, sadness, frustration, stresses). How am I expected to consider those things if I don't know what they are?
Nor is your responsibility anymore you aren't his wife!
M44 H41 M20 T23 3 older teens Bomb Nov 09 "i'm not happy" EA Nov 09 w/coworker Another PA in Mar 10 I Filed Apr 10 D final Dec 10
You care about another round of attorney fees to complete the execution of the agreement, and he doesn't seem to. You are kinda over a barrel on this one then. He knows you care about it, and he's using it to have power over you. And he's manipulating you by expecting you to be aware of his pain, sadness, frustration, stresses, etc.. You are not a mind-reader.
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
Now, despite the fact something HAS to be addressed before the close of business today that I cannot do on my own due to joint ownership, he will ignore me to prove his point.
Sounds like he has control of the sitch. Can you afford to call your L to see if there are any options for you that do not require going into another round of L fees? I know this would require L fees, but I will ask anyways. Would there be a way for you to get temporary control of the business being yalls sitch that would allow you to operate as needed to keep the business going since he is clearly dare I say "Sabotaging" the business to get at you?
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Oh he cares about another round of attnys feels - as it stands now he owes my attn well into the 5 figures. That is why he told me today "attnys are not necessary". Well, if you don't want them to become necessary then do as you AGREED to do as per the LEGAL DOCUMENT you signed.
Kevin - I don't mean my business as in how I make my living. I mean our business (asset business) between my H and I.
If he is asking for some leeway in attending to this business then I feel he could at least offer me some valid explanation. If he chooses not to tell me what exactly is going on that is preventing him from completing our business then I really cant adjust the "plan" we ALL agreed on Nov. 17th, 2009.
His pain points (whatever the hell that means) and his sadness and frustration are his own doing. I get that.
Kevin - I don't mean my business as in how I make my living. I mean our business (asset business) between my H and I.
Ah. Ok. Well, no harm in reminding him what the legal agreement says then and upping the anti a little if he won't comply since he doesn't want a round of L fees again.
Kevin
Last edited by K4D; 01/15/1009:10 PM.
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
There is no harm in reminding him but it certainly does not motivate him at all.
Something is up and I am real tired of his games. I cannot adjust OUR plan if I do not know why it needs adjusting.
The remainder of my tuition must be paid by Tues - the day I start school - and in order to get that money he has to sign off on one of our large accounts. He has had the paperwork since Nov. 23 and my end is complete. I have tried to be patient, tough and a million other things. I have TONS of bills to pay that I should no longer have due to the Agreement and all that is left to execute his HIS END. I am drowning and I am not supposed to be because a judge TOLD us how to settle these matters. His response "I am doing fine". Well, GREAT! I am fine too aside from ALL the financial burden I am carrying because he is screwing around on signing a few doc's. It's cruel.
I am just really fed up.
I am going to Tom's wake tonight with my neighbors.
I am simply very upset right now. I won't be upset forever but right now I really am.
