john, from the sounds of it, your XW is just starting to have her own 'aha' moments. How kind you are to allow her that space and not read much into it. As for me, I'm not there yet. That place of forgiveness. I'm in my angry place, and will remain there until D is filed and finalized. Then I'll take of these Superboots (they're heavy!) and pass 'em to the next person. Would love it if you stopped by, I'm in 'We're Separated' Peace.
Me:44, WAW hx bi-polar H:48, hx of abuse S:22, S:19, D:16 Filed Oct 08, dismissed Filed again Jan 10, dismissed Now Piecing alter persona: SuperBoots
Well Goldey those aha moments are a year too late...I am kind, sometimes too kind for my own good. It is who I am...who I have always been. I could resent her for all she put me and D9 through... bad mouth her to my friends, family, stepdaughters and even D9, however, what would that accomplish? I will stop ...
Thanks for the compliment Gyps....but I do not consider myself a star...at all...just a regular shmoe. From what I hear, however, there are fewer and fewer regular guys out there...
Mike, you are doing a great job with your D. She is only 4 and it will be difficult to explain things. I am sure you will continue to do fine and your D will groe up to be a wonderful young lady.
I am in the process of switching continents. Except I am keeping an office open in Malaysia on a friend basis for now. No kids this weekend, so I may meet some new ones. I look at every meetup as a learning and growing experience.
Well Kerry, I am having a housewarming on Saturday nite, lol. John, I've always thought there was more to you than just a regular schmoe. And yes, there are fewer and fewer 'good guys' out there to choose from. We get kinda picky after a while.
XW called earlier today to announce that she found my wedding ring....she thought I had asked D9 to bring it to me this weekend. I honestly do not know where they get these ideas....I simply told her that I would never involve D9 in anything that would remind her of the fact that their parents are divorced. She offered to give the ring to me when we exchange D9....I said as long as there is no priest or judge or anybody else around...no problem. Not sure what I will do with it...
I would say Kerry wins the "Most obscure and amusing links" award on these boards!
John, I can see what you are saying re. NGF. If you are not an "UP" or go-go-go type and are used to you partner being that way, having so much peace can seem almost...too peaceful?!
I know for me I want the next one to be a genuine "good guy". BUT....I need a little fire, a little spark, I sm@rtass if you will who will challenge me with witty banter and some flirtatiousness. If I want mellow and comforting I will go adopt a lab from the pound... Granted the quick-witted charmer can also be a ladies man so there is probably no perfect scenario...
Enough about me....can't believe she wanted to send the ring with D9??
As Jennifer Aniston once said about Brad, "I think he is missing a sensitivity chip"...
So what type of getaway? Local or remote? Just had some friends talk about going to the Dominican Republic and it reminded me of you. -8*F today, I could use a sandy beach!
-8F here as well...did I mention that I hate winter. I wanted to go skating with NGF, D9 and her kids this weekend but i think I will take a raincheck. Instead I have invited the clan for Pizza and Pictionary night....not sure if her kids are up to it but I am making an effort.
The sensitivity thing .... well i was going to tell her to shove it up he a$$ as a joke but that would not have been very nice... waht surprised me about the whole thing was that she thought that I would ask D9 for it...just plain weird. I have not thought about the ring's whereabouts nor did I care.
As far as a spark etc, is concerned. I guess when you are accustomed to a certain type of person, you notice the difference. I like to think that I ma pretty down to earth and apart from the occasional hot blooded over reaction which i guess is hereditary, I do not get too high or tooo low. Well NGF is worse than me.....compare that to what I am used to.... But NGF has qualities that XW will never ever have...so there is no perfect scenario....we all have our faults and our good ponts. I guess it depends on what traits you find the most important.....NGF is selfless and always puts others before her XW...well.....never mind.....
Granted the quick-witted charmer can also be a ladies man so there is probably no perfect scenario...