New Year, New Goals, New Life

[mishka422]

I wish that GA had required parenting class. We don't....not that it would have helped Gabe in any way, but I think the states that require it are at least making an effort.

BBJ - have you been able to get your door open yet?

[sandycay]

I just spent 4 hours last night - $60.00 for a parenting class. It would be interesting to watch STBXH in his. As the people talk about their cheating lying spouses and what the Walk away does to their children.


Of course, the flip side is there will be plenty of bait in the room, because amazingly everyone in the room I was in was innnocent ... except the quiet ones. LOL So maybe he'll bring his pole!!

[smith18]

I was scoping out the bait at my parenting class. XW and I took it at the same time, although they did split us (and spanish speaking) into separate classrooms. My kids even had their own age appropriate class which was optional but worth it. It was 4 class meetings over 4 weekends. I learned diddly squat as I had already read a book about co-parenting and helping kids cope with divorce.

I hear you Mike on the court appearance. It was priceless to hear my L comment to me about how much a cold faced B my XW was when he met with her L and her privately to iron out final negotiations in a side court room.

[ernest88]

I hear you Mike on the court appearance. It was priceless to hear my L comment to me about how much a cold faced B my XW was when he met with her L and her privately to iron out final negotiations in a side court room.

it's sure easy enough to get a divorce...I think if that's what you're after then you should have to stand up and frinkin say it...

I don't think it should be easy and I don't think you should be able to pay a man/woman who has a lawyers degree to stand up there for you and tell a judge that you want one...I think you should have to stand up there yourself and tell the world...and that the LBS should be in the courtroom so you can see their face...

straight up and to the point in all aspects of life....

[BobbiJo]

Mike funny you should say that...the night I gave Dan the dissolution papers to look over, before we got the official draft, I asked him (I don't cared if I get 2 x 4'd I felt I had the right)

"Will you just say to my face, 'I don't want you to be my wife and I don't want to be your husband'?"

Because he has been so avoidant, with convenient little phrases like, "I don't know how to fix things" or "It is what it is", and "I don't like it, I hate it but I don't know how to fix it" etc etc.

He has never come right out and said "I want a divorce"although he has said, "I don't want a divorce" a dozen times... And since I got to be the one to hire the attorney, sit there in meetings and hammer out the framework of ending my marriage when I didn't even want it to end, etc etc, I felt he ought to be able to at least say one sentence to own this thing.

Well that night he said, "I won't ever be able to say that" and he got up and left. Nice...

Anyway back to the current time. Dan left last night to go to Denver for 9 days for a huge livestock show and sale. He was here Thursday night but I stayed out of the way the whole time and fell asleep on the couch before he came out of the kids' room from putting them to bed...

Anyway I had given him the official final draft on Tuesday and he said he would sign it in front of the notary and give it back to me on Wednesday. Then he called Wednesday and said he was going to spend the evening doing laundry and packing for the trip, and come over Thursday. Then Thursday, I woke up as he was getting his coat to leave. He said bye and he would call when he got to Denver, and he left. I realized after he left that he never gave me the signed papers...

Question: Do I address that with him while he is gone? Or wait till he gets back? Or what?

Thing is the atty was going to try to make it effective Jan 1 so we could file next year's taxes totally separately...now this thing is pushed back to at least Jan 18. UNLESS he signed the paper and left it at his parents' house or at work, in which case I could go get it while he was gone and get my side of it signed and finished. So do I bring it up?

Oh and sorry I haven't posted much. Nathan was sick Monday-Friday with strep and pinkeye and I have been exhausted and freezing! No school Wed-Fri thanks to the freezing temps!

[mishka422]

Are the cold temps getting any better there? It's been ridiculous for our area. We southerners feel like we're blocks of ice! Hope Nathan is feeling better now. [censored] didn't get any of that did she?

Ummmm.....I hate to say it, but you know Dan didn't sign the paper, right? He likes this holding pattern FAR too much BBJ. I'm starting to think he likes the drama and turmoil it causes in his own head just a wee bit. If he signs and your M is officially over then what does he have left to feed off of? Nothing. Only himself and that's not enough.

Hmmm....seems to make too much sense to me. Makes me think that may be the issue with so many of these WAS's!!!

[BobbiJo]

Hmm....say it ain't so, Mish!!!

So do I bring it up? I am thinking Monday I just ask my atty how long he has to sign before it is considered and 'uncontested' dissolution or however you say it...

[mishka422]

Heck, why not ask him. I'm sorry, he's a complete dumba$$ and can't seem to just man up. He will avoid, avoid, avoid.......call him on it and then call your L.

[mishka422]

So how cold is it there now?

[sandycay]

You know Bobbi... when STBXH text me on Friday....he referred to it as the SEPERATION stuff. Duh it's DIVORCE.... thought that's what they wanted.... the sure aren't proactive ....your H or mine.