I just want to ask you this question B/H......what difference would a divorce make?????? other than the courts ordering child support....and him having visitation rights for our daughter, who by the way says she would never visit her dad with him living W/O I would not want the courts to put my daughter in that situation. Like M/G said it is now in God's hands.....I know you think I am just running my mouth because of the drama I caused myself the other day....right now I like my life with my daughter....other than being really short on cash most of the time we like it very much... I have come to realize I am not in control of my life, but God is..... I have done pretty good with him by my side except for when I Snoop.....lol thanks for listening......
There's always the free will problem, though-- God is not going to make your H do the right thing. I won't advise you one way or the other, but just want to point out that even Charlene Steinkamp filed for divorce. Filing for divorce does not make the LBS a bad person (can't say the same for the WAS, though).
My best friend's sister graduated from an ivy league school (undergraduate)around the time she became a fundamentalist Christian. She really wanted to go to grad school, but decided if that was God's plan for her, He would take care it. So rather than sending out applications, she waited for schools to contact her; consequently she didn't get into grad school.
There is such a thing as being TOO passive. You have control over your own actions. Isn't DBing about taking control of your own life?
Not trying to you p*ss off, just putting that out there as something to think about. I really hope things work out the way you want them to.
I am not concentrating on my husband. I am concentrating on me and the kids.
Yes, Charlyne did file for D BUT afterwards she said she did the wrong thing and asked God to forgive her because God hates divorce and she cites this.
And of course, she was listening to worldly advice. It was not until after that she really listened to God and followed the Bible and His Word.
I am NOT sitting back and waiting around for anything. I live my life one day at a time and trust that God will take care of us. He has up to now and I have no reason to doubt He will stop.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
IRMAC, I don't think you are running your mouth! You have the right to believe as you wish! I also have the right to disagree with you! Anyway, what good would a divorce do? Well, first let me say this, I am not in favor of them either, but with that being said, there are tines when they are needed. As MWG pointed out, God hates divorce, but I also believe he recognizes that there are situations when its warranted. IRMAC, A divorce in your and MWG situations would help in the following. 1. Eliminate a very toxic, stressful, and unloving relationship. 2. Give yourself peace of mind. 3. Have Court ordered Support for your children. 4. Give yourselves an opportunity to start over. 5. Give yourselves a chance to meet someone else down the road. I just think there is way too much water under the bridge for either H to return..... Honestly, I don't know how you can rebuild a marriage with that much damage done to it anyway. I just think there has been way too much hurt caused to ever get past..... I just see both of you doing the same thing years from now and I think its very sad...... It is your lives to live though.
Thanks B/h and I know you mean well but I will address some things you talked about to my post..... 1.What relationship???we dont have one and as far as being stressed who isn't....life is stressful I dont wonder and pine over my husband...( except when I got nosey and you saw where that got me ) 2.I do have peace of mind, be cause God the father has given that to me,I really do have a peace inside of me that surpasses undertanding. 3. I have started that process with the state atty.gen office...they are slow as christmas... 4.I know I dont sound like it at times, but I have started over I have a life, support myself and my daughter, we have our own place and we are coping and believe it or not happy. 5.As as the hurt to get past this,too much damage, is an easy one, I have totally forgiven him as Christ forgave me.... My beliefs are mine and mine only I will keep waiting till God says otherwise.....I have seen so many changes in the both of us maybe this was needed in our lives.....I know my faith is stronger than it has EVER been and for that I am grateful...thanks B/H I think I just witnessed to you....be blessed
As a Believer myself, who by the way also wanted to believe that God would take care of us (but of course only in the way that I wanted), came to understand that sometimes it is a test of our faith to accept the plan that God has in store for us. I counseled with a wonderful Minister who explained to me that many times our faith is tested and the real test is to accept with love that this may not be what we want, but it is in God's plan. I eventually realized that staying stuck and stubborn was keeping me from honoring God's will and acceptance of his plan for my life. Nowhere is it written that we always get what we want. So if I am to understand this correctly all here who succumb to divorce are not following God's will in your view? To this I disagree.
You are right about 1 thing. God does take care of us but we have to help ourselves. Once I stopped sitting around and took my life back, almost instantly things changed. My children became closer and happier. The perfect job that I had not even sought fell out of the sky. I was so surrounded by love, happiness, thankfulness, but most importantly a purpose for my life was once again in my grasp. I was then able to really and truly be grateful for the many blessings that were all around me.
How are you moving ahead? You're still in danger of losing your home, your car barely runs, you say you have no money. How will this get any better unless you take charge and make a plan?
bh is right. Your marriage was broken. Sometimes divorce is eventually the thing that brings a MLC spouse. I'm not saying that everyone's divorce will lead them back to a MLC spouse,in fact most times it won't, but in my case that is exactly what happened. Seven years after leaving, my ex woke up and has asked for a chance to start fresh and try again. I now know that what happens next is my choice and I am so thankful for that choice. We'll see what God and my heart tell me.
I think you have me confused with M/G I rent an apt. and i am not behind on my rent...but anyways back to the subject..we all have our own convictions to what God says to us. So you are telling me that God cannot change things....look at what he did for Saul a christian hating guy that was feard by all, if you even said the name of Jesus you were dead...he was converted by the power of God......what about all the people that were healed all the people delivered from the demons within them......we are talking about a God that created the heavens and the earth.....we read in the bible that NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE WITH GOD......we can go back and forth on this I beleive what I beleive and so does M/G.....when God tells us otherwise we will keep standing...we arent just by our phones waiting FOR THAT CALL......my journey has been since 01/07 I saw so many changes in him......but to this day because I know that I know I will keep doing what I am doing ........stay on my knees and pray.......I do what I do because it is my life.... All of our marrriages were broken.....and as far as your spouse returning back that is awesome congrats to you......
... that sometimes it is a test of our faith to accept the plan that God has in store for us. I counseled with a wonderful Minister who explained to me that many times our faith is tested and the real test is to accept with love that this may not be what we want, but it is in God's plan. I eventually realized that staying stuck and stubborn was keeping me from honoring God's will and acceptance of his plan for my life.
Beautifully said drm .... isn't it a wonderful new day when you truly know that in your heart as well as your head. I'm so grateful for this journey of mine, because I learned what you just so perfectly articulated ... we don't always get what we want - but the good lord always have a way of making sure we get what we need.
Cheers, V
V
Never make someone a priority, who makes you an option.
"God does take care of us but we have to help ourselves. Once I stopped sitting around and took my life back, almost instantly things changed."
Amen
M41 H42 D17 Adopted N14 M22 T24 "Bomb" 4/07 Sep 8/07 Admitted OW 11/07(only to me) OW back 12/4/07 PA on off thru 7/08 says done w/OW but not coming home 8/08 D final 7/09 Moving on and up!!
