She must be seeing a lawyer...what now?

[Awoken]

Today, my W continued with her strange behavior.
However, it really didn't seem to affect me much at all. It makes me a little sad: not because of what she's doing, but because I just don't care anymore. I didn't wonder what she was thinking, or what she had planned.

Basically, she was very friendly all day. She texted me several times from work, and even called once. I kept it all very short.
She had problems with her car, and called to give me an update on it. I simply told her that of course I would split the bill with her, and then told her I had to go. When she got home from work, she gave me details of her plans for the night and left me alone with the kids (it's my night). Later that night, she came into the master bedroom to iron her clothes (she's been carefully doing that when I'm not home). She made small talk about her work and trip to Seattle. I just listened, and then said I needed to go to sleep.

Two days ago, she wouldn't look at me, or sit in the same room.

Hopefully I've developed some much needed patience.

[givingitmyall]

Thanks GIMA and Puppy!

I'm getting more confident, but I still second guess much of what I'm doing. Your encouragement really makes a difference.

Right now, if it's the right thing to do for YOU and the kids, then it's the right thing.

"Strength and Honor."
-Coach

[12bar]

Awoken

I have to agree, you handled that conversation very well!

You told her that you did not agree with a D and that she would have to tell the kids which I think is very important.

From what you wrote, your W sounds conflicted to me. I also had the same convo with my W the other night about doing "real work" on the M as in both of us in a concerted effort.

At any rate, I think you were on your game with this one and you need to keep it going!

[Awoken]

Thanks GIMA and Junco! Again, these affirmations make a difference!

[Awoken]

After my talk sunday with W, we agreed to me watching the kids on MW, and W on TT, and the weekends are still up in the air.

Over the holidays we had some serious conflicts over who was spending time with the kids, and I took a stand that all communication should be between me and W, and that we should'nt put the kids in the middle of those kinds of decisions.

SO, After sundays talk, I sent W an email about my upcoming performance out of town. I'll be gone for 4 days over a weekend, and I've arranged for my father to take the kids to school.

I then said I would like to have the kids over the long weekend Jan 15-18 (MLK day is no school).

I then confirmed that I was agreeing that she could take the kids to Seattle over spring break in April.

She has not responded at all, and I feel like I need a reply from her about MLK weekend. I'm thinking about sending her another email about it saying "if I don't hear back from you in 24 hours, I'll assume that I'll have the kids with me that weekend".

Is this a good approach?

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Yes, although you might want to give her one more "Did you get this? I need to make plans" e-mail, first.

Puppy

[Awoken]

Thanks Puppy for the spoon feeding. I'll use that exactly.

[Awoken]

This morning I forwarded the old email, with exactly what Puppy suggested: "Did you get this? I need to make plans"

W responded this afternoon with "I thought I replied. Yes you can take the kids that weekend".
Then sent two more emails, saying "please respond, I want to make sure you got my email".

I was really expecting a fight from her, and I was prepared to not be emotional at all. Maybe her L told her she needed to play nice?

[January girl]

Awoken,
How are things going for you today? Glad to hear she decided to "play nice" for once.
JG

[Awoken]

hi JG!

thanks for checking in. I think I'm doing better than I have in a while. When I read my threads when I first got here, I was a complete basket case. I'm still on a roller coaster, and I need to stay focused and keep my calm.

For example, yesterday night was my night with the kids. We just started a weekly trade-off. MW is my night, TT is W's night, although we are both still in the house. I was spending time with D17, she told me that my W had run out to do some "errands". D17 knows that in the past that meant that W was going to the liquor store. My first thought was "she's going to her lawyer to start the filing process". I had to do a quick mental check to stop myself from the usual panic, and remember that it doesn't matter what she is doing. Sigh, one moment I think I want a D myself, and then I'm worried that she is filing. It is very tiring.

Still, I had a great time with my kids last night. I helped S13 practice his music for an upcoming audition, and had a long talk with D17 about her ex-boyfriend and the drama at her school (I just listened!) I'm not sure when my W returned, but she stayed in her room all night.

Ok, here's some more venting about W's weird behavior:
She usually sleeps with one of our dogs (the one that is devoted to her, and looks for her all day long). Last night she refused when S13 tried to let the dog in her room. He ended sleeping on the couch with the dog. W told me the last weekend that she is "kinda done with the pets too". She's always been a devoted pet lover. So I guess her WAW stuff extends to the pets now too since she can't get me out of the house.