The forecast is just a bit cooler, but it is generally dryer than Iowa. Lots of unoccupied land, and if you build a house, every way you look out the windows would be north. Not sure about the employment or school situation there. Kids would probably enjoy the penguins on trips to the coast.
Sorry to hear about all the sickness and the cold spell. It sounds miserable.
The cold is pretty miserable, Kerry, maybe I should move!
Nathan went to school today as he didn't have a fever this morning. He did have a funky rash over his upper back/shoulders/upper arms...however he is an allergy/asthma kid and I realized he wore a shirt to school yesterday that was new from Christmas and I didn't wash it first...so I think that's all it is. I hope so anyway!
My back feels a little better today, hopefully it will continue to improve. I read some more in the "Getting Past Your Breakup" book last night. It is a very good read, but I am trying to go through it slower than I normally would. I am a fast reader by nature, but I don't want to breeze through something if I should be taking it to heart...
So, it won't be a whole lot of fun negotiating with a man whose entire job is sales, numbers, money, and who has to have a cutthroat mentality to make it to the top dog position and keep it as he has...
He had 2 questions on the draft. One was on the annual income we stated that he had. He said he doesn't make that much. Atty said he does with bonus income included and it is included when figuring child support.
So Dan says then why would I be offering you 25% of my bonus for the next 8 years if you are already taking support based on that? It would be double-dipping...
Mind you it was 100% HIS idea to give me part of his bonus checks, my atty said that NEVER happens so to take it and run. That means I can't enforce it if he doesn't want to do it... bummer. Looks like the bonus $$ will be included when calculating child support but now I won't be getting a percentage, too...
Then he says again there is no way he can pay me my lump payout in 30 days, he needs until May 1 to see how much he gets in bonus and tax returns. He wants to pay me off with tax and bonus money if he can so he doesn't dip into the 401k or sell cows...
My atty said that the 30 day number is not a legal requirement, it can be changed to May 1...just depends on whether I want to argue about it...
Deal is right now Dan has no attorney. If I push on more of this stuff he may get one and then it will take even longer and cost a lot more...grr...
<<So, it won't be a whole lot of fun negotiating with a man whose entire job is sales, numbers, money, and who has to have a cutthroat mentality to make it to the top dog position and keep it as he has...>> Especially if he has no conscience, guilt or remorse......
BBJ, you just need to figure out what is acceptable to you (and the kids) and comapre that with what your attorney thinks he can get you. Mix it all together and away you go...in an ideal world it would be 50 / 50 but as fara s your possesions are concerned and then all you have to worry about is mathematics regarding child support. But we do not live in an ideal world.
Not too shocking, is it? He hasn't been living in reality for a long time. He was making deals that were not any more real than the rest of his reality.
As far as the bonus thing goes, I think the best you can do is to have it included in the calculations. I'm guessing that means if he doesn't get the bonuses he'll have to prove it. If you took a percentage I'm ready to bet he would find a way to hide them.
Going to May 1 might not be a terrible compromise. For one thing, it's coming quickly! And it is well before you should have to worry about you job, right? So you will be covered as far as your biggest concerns.
I think you are right, if he gets an attorney, things are not going to get better.
So, it won't be a whole lot of fun negotiating with a man whose entire job is sales, numbers, money, and who has to have a cutthroat mentality to make it to the top dog position and keep it as he has...
oh sister do I hear you on this one.. my sympathies.
Originally Posted By: bobbijo
Then he says again there is no way he can pay me my lump payout in 30 days, ..... so he doesn't dip into the 401k or sell cows...
ROTFLMAO.. yep.. had similar conversation with my STbX.. How many cows are YOU worth?
It frustrated me then & does now.. that'll he'll sell them to pay me off, but wouldn't sell them when I asked him to years ago, to change his work-aholic lifestyle. argg... again.. more hugs & sympathies.
Peace Bridge
Last edited by Bridgestone; 01/05/1005:53 PM.
Divorced 03/2010 Mom to two amazing kids
Taking the road less traveled because those encountered on the way may be just as unique.
I guess the thing is, my attorney and I both KNEW I was not entitled to his bonus income after we are divorced, but he was giving it to me anyway, by his own decision.
I shouldn't have had 'expectations'...
I already had projects in mind each year--siding for the house, remodel the bathroom, pay down the mortgage, etc etc. Oh well, I will survive without it!
Legally, neither of his issues is 'enforceable', they could be taken to a judge if I wanted to argue it but it would probably cost more than it is worth.
The one issue is how high his salary is stated on the decree to calculate child support. (He thinks if bonus $$ is included there he shouldn't have to give me 25% of his bonuses, which was his idea anyway!)
The second issue is giving me my lump sum payout to even out our assets--he gives me $xx,000 and he gets to keep all the farm animals and equipment and the 401k. Atty listed due in 30 days, Dan wants 120 days. Apparently there is no set time period for that...
So worst-case scenario I don't get cuts of his bonus, which I am not legally entitled to anyway, and he gets to pay me by May 1 instead of Feb. 7..I suppose that is not so bad!
Atty said he does with bonus income included and it is included when figuring child support.
So Dan says then why would I be offering you 25% of my bonus for the next 8 years if you are already taking support based on that? It would be double-dipping...
Mind you it was 100% HIS idea to give me part of his bonus checks, my atty said that NEVER happens so to take it and run. That means I can't enforce it if he doesn't want to do it... bummer. Looks like the bonus $$ will be included when calculating child support but now I won't be getting a percentage, too...
BBJ Child support in Tennessee used to be a base percentage of gross annual income minus Social Security..
basically..if a man carried the child on his insurance then he paid 21% of his yearly income (minus SS) for child support...if you did not carry them then you paid 31% of your yearly income..Tennesse has now went to a more balanced approach where both parents incomes are figured in to reach a child support number for the non custodial parent..
I can see why Dan has took backwater after seeing the numbers...it does sound like double dipping...I am of the opinion that the support should be fair...
as for the 401k money..I'd tell him to sell the cows..
Quote:
Deal is right now Dan has no attorney. If I push on more of this stuff he may get one and then it will take even longer and cost a lot more...grr...
you are correct on that part...It blows my mind that Dan is actually doing this using your attorney...he has no represenation..you would think a "top dog" would be smarter than that.
Him offering the bonus percentage was just a strategy - buttering you up so that you might agree to a lower alimony.
He should realize that alimony is tax deductable whereas giving you 25% of a questionable bonus is not.
Just go by his last 3 years taxes and pay stubs to calculate income (which includes bonus's) for the child support calculation. Scratch the bonus sharing.
Work with him on the negotiations as much as possible, because if he does get his own L things can get spendy.
30 days does seem like kind of a short time for him to get the asset buyout settled. My judgement specified that I had 90 days.
Poor me...I got a nice bonus which was calculated for my income the year we got divorced. However, the last 2 years I have not gotten a bonus. So, if I had gone with Dan's plan, I would be much better.
as for the 401k money..I'd tell him to sell the cows..
Just a thought.. in Iowa you entitled to 1/2 his 401K & he to yours. That is a non-taxable roll-over event. But it doesn't give you the $$ for cash flow or a pile of $$ to dip into for future job training (like your ideas about career change).
If he sells the cows there will more than likely be capital gains tax + income tax which easily can top 35% depending on the tax bracket he would be in, which he could argue should come out of the sales proceeds.
What my StBX is considering is taking a loan out against the cows/machinary for a portion of my lump sum up front payment & then I'm taking the remainder as scheduled payment.
It isn't easy, despite it being 'just business'.. thinking of you Bridge
Divorced 03/2010 Mom to two amazing kids
Taking the road less traveled because those encountered on the way may be just as unique.
