MWG, You are going to have to start being a little more objective about what others suggest to you on here. I am sorry about your son, if he has in fact used since he has been out, he has a much worse problem than you are aware of. For the boy's sake, if he is using, he needs some time in jail..... As for your H..... He's not going to change, sorry to be so negative, but he is there to stay. The only way he would try to come back is if he were thrown out.... It really is now about you and your girls, and for God's sake, focus on them! You have spent way too much time over the last 4 or 5 years on your H and son. Take your girls and move on.
Just a minute here, please.
What is going on about my H???? Me and the kids have been functioning without him and we have not attempted to invite him over for anything. He is on his own. What do I have to do with him now???? NOTHING. We are allowing him to have what he wanted--to be over there and free of us and us free from him.
Enough said.
As for my s--court went well as did everything else.
And please, God can move mountains and can work outcomes that far exceed a human being trying to work it.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
I have to step in here on MWG behalf, not that she needs it, she has been in here taking care of herself for a very long time.....B/H we each have our own convictions as to what we are to do in our lives and in respect to our husbands doing what they are doing.... No one can tell her what she should or should not do, the same goes for me.....I would not want to be in her shoes as far as her son is concerned....lots of advice in here as to what she should do with him... I could never just let him be....grown or not I would move heaven and earth to help my son...jail or prison is no place for a man or woman to go at this age in their lives. They go in as young troubled men and women and come out hardened criminals ....what good would that do....what good could come out of that. Yes,we have the prison system to try and reform people.I dont think this is the way to get a young person off of an addition...what are rehabs for then.....everyone justs wants him put in jail in here... Just voicing my opinion and as far as H goes she is doing the best she can, we all are.....who knows it is the time for miracles....cant we all still have hope?????.....right now she is down, lets not kick her while she is down ...instead we should uplift her in prayer and support .... she is well aware of what she should do... I love to read your posts....but really, when you were new in here didnt anybody here tell you sometimes that it was ok to have hope??? I pray you and your family have a very Blessed and Merry Christmas......
I have sat in court a lot the last few weeks and IRMAC is right. Prison is not a place to try and reform anybody. It is scum.
To try and help someone who has a problem--that is not the place. They get far better drugs behind bars than they do on the streets.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Yes, My mother is bipolar and she is always going off of her meds. Refuses to get help. One time it landed her in jail. After she divorced my father she burned through $350,000 in about 3 years. I could not afford to continue to support that. She didn't belong in jail she was mentally ill. But on the other hand she wouldn't help herself. Sometimes that is the only thing you can do. Tough Love. When she got out of jail the judge ordered her to stay on meds. She did for 5 years when the judges order ran out. Then it was back to cycling on and off meds.
When my MIL would go off her meds, it was awful. My FIL had to get a court order to get her into a hospital to regulate the meds and to keep it going. It took a lot of $$$$ and a lot of time.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
When my MIL would go off her meds, it was awful. My FIL had to get a court order to get her into a hospital to regulate the meds and to keep it going. It took a lot of $$$$ and a lot of time.
In New York state it takes two psch. to commit someone to a hospital against their will. My mother has a very high IQ and she would convince the doctors their was nothing wrong with her, this was like 40 years ago. Later when she had a history it was not as difficult. Yes lots of time and money. I learned to detach at an early age.
MWG, I am glad court went well, but if you have knowledge of him using, he has a serious problem.... If not, well, sounds like he is on the road to recovery. I was just going by our post that kind of implied that he had used since he was out.
First of all, he has not been formally sentenced and that will occur the end of January.
No rehab because he is not addicted, he did it occasionally. I know lots of people my age who did the same things at his age and even older. They got their acts together and they never entered into rehab.
And by the way, Braveheart...I am NOT doing the same as before with regard to my H. He was told he could not come home if he left and he left so there you go.........And I have not invited him to spend special days with us at all.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
MWG, Good for you! I am not your enemy, I want to see you and your family do well! I would just caution you to be extra carefull in regards to son, he is living in a different era in time than we were as kids, please watch him very carefully.
