That's a tough one for sure but one of the best things that happened to my youngest stepson was spending a few days in jail. That straightend him up quicker than anything else!
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
I thought three days in jail would have taught him his lesson but apparently it did not.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
MWG, You are going to have to start being a little more objective about what others suggest to you on here. I am sorry about your son, if he has in fact used since he has been out, he has a much worse problem than you are aware of. For the boy's sake, if he is using, he needs some time in jail..... As for your H..... He's not going to change, sorry to be so negative, but he is there to stay. The only way he would try to come back is if he were thrown out.... It really is now about you and your girls, and for God's sake, focus on them! You have spent way too much time over the last 4 or 5 years on your H and son. Take your girls and move on.
I have to step in here on MWG behalf, not that she needs it, she has been in here taking care of herself for a very long time.....B/H we each have our own convictions as to what we are to do in our lives and in respect to our husbands doing what they are doing.... No one can tell her what she should or should not do, the same goes for me.....I would not want to be in her shoes as far as her son is concerned....lots of advice in here as to what she should do with him... I could never just let him be....grown or not I would move heaven and earth to help my son...jail or prison is no place for a man or woman to go at this age in their lives. They go in as young troubled men and women and come out hardened criminals ....what good would that do....what good could come out of that. Yes,we have the prison system to try and reform people.I dont think this is the way to get a young person off of an addition...what are rehabs for then.....everyone justs wants him put in jail in here... Just voicing my opinion and as far as H goes she is doing the best she can, we all are.....who knows it is the time for miracles....cant we all still have hope?????.....right now she is down, lets not kick her while she is down ...instead we should uplift her in prayer and support .... she is well aware of what she should do... I love to read your posts....but really, when you were new in here didnt anybody here tell you sometimes that it was ok to have hope??? I pray you and your family have a very Blessed and Merry Christmas......
IRMA, Neither one of you are new.... You have been at this long enough to understand things. Understand this regarding drug users..... If tough love and strict boundaries are not applied, the drug user will die. I have seen it personally and professionally. "Help" doesn't mean the user not paying the price. The user must hit bottom and want help.... Sound familiar? As for the marriage is concerned.... IRMA, you can "hope" as long as you want to, but the reality of the situation is her H has not changed and the way that MWG has handled the situation has not changed, therefore, is there any reason to believe the outcome of the situation will change? Sometimes helping someone means being tough with them, not just a pat on the back.
He is still only 18, still a teenager, still a dependant....I am a hispanic woman brought up that no matter what, you stand behind your kids....your family member... I have never had to do tough love and I dont think I could..... I am so thankful for my life, my husband and myself are one thing, but my kids, there is nothing I would not do for them.....have been blessed they have stayed out of trouble Have you had to do tough love??? If you have what was the outcome of it??? Just asking.....
Yes, I have done tough love when it comes to drugs, from a professional standpoint, the outcomes have been favorable.... On the other hand, I had a sister who died of an OD, large in part because my mother wouldn't be tough with her. IRMA, someone on drugs is a totally different person. They will kill you to get a fix for themself. I have watched drug addicted kids force their parents to lose all they have, it's just such a bad situation .
Yes, My mother is bipolar and she is always going off of her meds. Refuses to get help. One time it landed her in jail. After she divorced my father she burned through $350,000 in about 3 years. I could not afford to continue to support that. She didn't belong in jail she was mentally ill. But on the other hand she wouldn't help herself. Sometimes that is the only thing you can do. Tough Love. When she got out of jail the judge ordered her to stay on meds. She did for 5 years when the judges order ran out. Then it was back to cycling on and off meds.
Maybe I have lived a sheltered life and nothing like you guys that have seen it first hand....I just pray for her safety and to come out of this on top......
