NC - W vanished ...

[chatterbug]

Hey P I was out for the evening. Its almost 3 am so I will reply in the morning. Cold or no cold. Its good to get out. But I really wanted you to know that I was thinking about ya. Take Care my friend.

I live in canada so I understand about below zero...

[newmama]

5 days til Christmas, then we will have all gotten through the hardest Christmas ever!

[P17]

5 days til Christmas, then we will have all gotten through the hardest Christmas ever!

You said it newmama. I am actually looking forward to it. Very VERY apprehensive, but still looking forward to it. It will be weird not having W around and I have decided (there is that phrase again) that I am just going to go with the emotions on the day whatever they may be. I have been invited to D's mum's for Xmas day so that will hopefully be fun.

[P17]

Just a little update on the sitch.

I saw the woman at D's work I spoke to a few weeks ago and told about my mum. I was puzzled as to how W and MIL found out about it. I thought maybe the woman I spoke to had told W.

So I spoke to her today and asked her, she said she did tell W but by the time she had done, W already knew. She didn't know how W found out though (she couldn't remember). Nobody knew about this so I actually have no idea who told her.

The only place she could have found out was my Facebook page but I don't think she's interested enough to check that out so I'm still puzzled.

Woman said that W was going to send a card to my dad. Not to me then.

I thought when we implement NC that the WAS is supposed to fight against it? She has taken the NC, written it down and is sticking to it like glue.

Just another hopeless day at the ranch.

[Day by Day]

{{P17}} Sorry you are having a rough day.

Your Christmas plans sound great. Hope you have wonderful time.

[P17]

{{P17}} Sorry you are having a rough day.

Rough dayssss so far Maybe it's the calm before the storm. I feel it's the start of something. Not sure what. This is the longest 'rough day' I've had since coming on here.

Your Christmas plans sound great. Hope you have wonderful time.

You too ... it'll be tough for us all, but it's only one day. Remember this the one day where we WIN - the WAS doesn't get to have this special time with us and the kids this year. Their loss.

[P17]

I thought as a mental gesture I have changed my relationship status on FB to Single ... obviously means nothing but it's just another one of those little 'things' that hang about.

Just venting here:
A thought has also been going through my head today ... maybe I should sell my wedding ring. I don't know what I feel about it to be honest it just went through my head. There is no hope that I can see of R and even if there was, it would be a new M, not the old one so the ring is redundant. I find this thought a little bit disturbing to be honest but I'm just putting it down here to get it out.

[avermont]

Chiming in a bit late here, P17, but I, too, offer my consolations for having such a rough day.

I had a real wallow the other day. Finally was able to hear my counselor in my head: "After awhile, bring out your Parent who says, OK now, time to get on to things that have to get done." So I had the weeping child for awhile then--somehow--sucked it up to keep on having a day of some sort. Wasn't easy.

I think you dealt with seeing OM in the store as best you could. Inevitable, and perhaps better to get it over with?

And I admire your conviction not to let them change your habits--why should you be inconvenienced shopping just because of them? Good on you! Keep claiming your life and your habits in your town.

I hope you are feeling a bit more up by the time of this writing.

[Day by Day]

I've been thinking of changing my relationship status on FB too, but my kids are on it and H's family too. I don't want them tell him I am single now. Don't know why, but doesn't feel right. I'm going to be un-friend-ing most of them anyway except for H's grandfather. I care about him and want him to see that I'm doing well.

About the ring, I know how you feel, but it's all emotions right now. Don't make a decision on that based on emotions. I've been told by a few people that "things get worse before they get better." Don't know if that applies to our sitch, but that gives me a sliver of hope to try to keep on...

[newmama]

P, I HAVE to say this...NC will eventually get to your WW. BUT based on what I have read from other forums (survivinginfidelity.com and marriagebuilders.com) it takes longer than a month! We're talking 6 months, maybe more. Based on what you have said about OM, I honestly and seriously doubt
1) she will marry him (No effing way!!!)
2) it will last longer than 6-9 months.

As for you selling your ring, why not? Men's rings do not cost as much as women's and like you said, it will be a different marriage if you chose to remarry her.

NC really is better for LBS to heal. Damn, I am living this reality. I have ALWAYS just moved on before WH, granted I wasn't married them, but I KNOW in my heart and soul that I would have just said "see ya!" if I didn't share a child with him.

So, I say continue your NC but please do not expect anything to happen for several months. Detaching will allow you to live as you please and keep her on the back burner. Maybe even try dating the way that Cutter is dating. If your expectations are low, you will be happier.

BTW I bet WW did check your facebook page!