K4D It's a Wonderful Life

[BobbiJo]

Kev

If you are serious about finances, check out Dave Ramsey. Love his book "Total Money Makeover". He does a daily radio show, and a show on Fox Business channel. Has a program called Financial Peace University that also helps teach you how to get out (and STAY out) of debt, for real. If you can find his show on in your area, listen to it sometime. Very encouraging to hear stories of those who have done it and made it....oh, and he is also Christian and proud of it, which is nice!

[TrentC]

I am attracted to men that are on top of things, confident, able to find solutions and use resources and don't see everything in such a black and white fashion. I don't care if they are a garbage man or the CEO of a company.

Each month I type out a goal sheet but I break the goals down this way:

Business Goals
Financial Goals
Personal Goals

Then, for each category I add sub categories. That way I don't have an overwhelming list of "to do's" and things are far more manageable.

I only recently started doing this (as in the last year) and it has made a HUGE difference in my life.

I have to put a plug in for David Allen's Getting Things Done. It's a very good system for staying organized.

My system has taken a beating the past few weeks, between work and my private life, but I plan to sit down and get all of my lists and to-dos caught up before the end of the year.

[K4D]

Thanks for the additional financial resources. I will take a look at these.

Kevin

[K4D]

The best thing I can do is learn growth the best I can from all of this. I won't mention the droid again. Got that one loud and clear.

Kevin

[The Wifey]

granted I posted a lot the past 2 days and have my moments of not wanting to let W go. Geez, she is my W. I have kids with her. We have been married for 12 years. Kind of signed up for life, or at least that is what I think was said when we got married.

This has been a struggle. I have gone through lots of human emotions through this. I have done some things I shouldn't have and changed some things I should have.

Kev, I got this. Really. But you need not go back to the beginning whenever you are down. Just saying I'm a little down, having a rough patch - we can all identify with.

Answering every single post, musing every passing thought, agonizing over interaction with your wife will kill your progress.

Yes, there has been a thaw of sorts with your wife. That is only step 1 on a long road. You can be decent and not push her. Step 1.

Everyone's path is different. But ultimately everyone on here has basically the same goals. Save the M and improve their life by changing themselves to be a better all around person. There are a lot of things I do not do anymore that led me to be in a bad position. So maybe you don't see it all, but I am far better off than I used to be.

Yes! And we all move at different speeds. However, that doesn't mean you get to duck responsibility for your own progress. You've made some progress. Its up to you to make more, with no excuses. No reasons why it was too hard.

Letting go isn't easy. But it isn't stopping me from being involved with others and helping out people when I can. It isn't stopping me from doing what I need to for my girls. It is stopping me from moving on to find someone else. My goal isn't to move on and find someone else.

It has probably hindered to an extent forward progress with me and W. I can't deny that.

So what is the goal? To keep hindering any progress or to grow? You don't have to find someone else to grow. Life is busy, complicated, days pass into each other so quickly. It is you that you have to grow.

I am however looking to make a change in my career and get a certification to move that forward which would be great for me.

The most important reason to do this is to have a goal and reach it. Do it for you, Kev.

I won't dodge the AA issue. I assume the meetings are going well for those that are still attending and need them. I have a C I go to and I have my priest I go to and I have friends that support me as well that I spend time with which does not include drinking.

I am doing fine there.

Bull Sh&t meter pegged to the max. Sorry, my friend. Addictive behaviors are more than putting a bottle to your mouth or not. It has everything to do with your lack of control on your emotions, acting out or saying things you know you shouldn't say or do because you can't stand it any more, because you got frustrated, etc. It has a lot to do with realizing after the fact and shuddering in horror and regret for those things after the fact and having to start over repeatedly.

Kev, it pains me to come on here and see you spinning like a top depending on who is blasting you at any particular moment. Slow down, breath, and feel. There is nothing you have to do right now in the next five minutes.

Stop yourself from agonizing over everything. Sometimes it just is what it is, and that's all that there is. Stop and feel, even if you need to go have a good cry, which I suspect we all need to do occasionally.

Trust in God. I know you have faith. Give those things you want to agonize over to him. Why did my W say that? I don't know - only God does. Why did she ask me to sit with her? I don't know - only God does.

As a favor to me, please, go to more AA meetings. My uncle is sitting in Hudson Valley Correctional Facility for a 16-to life sentence for DWI. He has every reason in the world why. It is all going to be different when he gets out. I can't tell you how many times I've heard it.

And just because you don't have a DWI, does not mean the meetings are useless. It is the reasons behind why someone drinks that they work on. Those are the very things you need to work on. And if you really are all good there, then sponsoring someone else will help someone else.

Alcoholism is not something you just decide not to do any more. I want to see you strong. Please say you will go.

[Super Girl]

The best thing I can do is learn growth the best I can from all of this. I won't mention the droid again. Got that one loud and clear.

Kevin

Kevin, I just ordered a droid. I am giddy with excitement. I agree with all the rest of what 25 said, but for tech lovers, being excited about a new phone is cool. Feel free to share your excitement.

[PMA_Baby!]

Very nice Wifey. Some great points.

Merry DBing Christmas everybody!

[K4D]

SG,

My W is a tech lover also and gets excited about new technology. So I guess it never dawned on me how it could be looked at by others. I think you will love your droid. I know I have spent a good amount of time on mine.

KJ,

I am thinking it over. This would be a favor for you if I go back. I know it should be for myself. But I honestly don't want to go back. But I will consider it for you.

Merry Christmas PMA,

Kevin

[SDFoundGirl]

KJ,

I am thinking it over. This would be a favor for you if I go back. I know it should be for myself. But I honestly don't want to go back. But I will consider it for you.

Kevin

I haven't posted to you before, but I've read off and on. I really mean no disrespect by the question I'm about to ask you. I just have learned to trust my intuition and to pass on things to people when it comes to me. You are free to do with it what you will.

What are you afraid of? There's so much resistance to this...and all the excuses and comments seem to be tinged with fear and avoidance.

Normal feelings I think...I used to journal until I found out I could play the writing game too well and avoid dealing with things I really didn't want to deal with. I switched to art where I didn't have as much expertise so I had to get past the blocks I could put up for myself. It's been invaluable, though I've had to face really ugly things via the process.

What are you afraid of?

SD

[K4D]

What are you afraid of?

I am not afraid of it so much as I don't want to keep spending my time in there night in and night out. It pretty much kills the rest of the evening of things I also am trying to do. It just basically eats up time that I can be applying to other things I also need to get done or sometimes just want to do.

I understand it teaches you life skills beyond drinking. I won't disagree with that.

I am thinking it over for KJ. I hate to tell her no on anything. And I know the reason she is asking me to for her is to help me continue and stay on the right track for my own life.

Kevin