So I read half way through divorce remedy and I write out my goals etc I see the section on asking for what you want and after a couple of days of playing it cool where I am busy wiht my own stuff and not naging him or chasing him I go this morning and say I want us to have manners I want to be treated with manners.I can see him holding in rage and he says if I dont leave him alone he will explode.He is 'working on' finding a group counselling session and to give him a couple of months. He just wants to be happy and not fight.He says he has had enough of me being sick(long undiagnosed fibromyalgia and migraines) and says when I am we fight. I say I cant help that and he can have time but we can still have manners- he says he has to go on as he is.Je his sick of our fighting cycle and my unresponsiveness when he tries to make up.I say I do my best to make up but it is hard to go back to the instant joy he expects and where will I be after months of this?He says you go wherever you want to go-just go. He wants me to leave so he doesnt have to. He wants to be happy and he wants me to ACT happy with him even though he disrespects me.I have not rejected him when he has come to my bed but I can never be enthusiastic enough for him though I try.I am hurt and angry and try to act ok but its always under the surface.I cant see how to go on like this and I cant see making up with someone like him. I feel so sad and I have to take my son to schoolin a minute with red eyes.I dont want to see anyone cos the pain is to hard to hide.
Geez he has me on a rollercoaster! after this mornings post I went to the doctor and she decided to start me on a low dose antidepressants to control my pain and help with the anxiety and she is going to refer me to a counsellor.My husband was curt with me whenever he talked and then all of a sudden I come out of the bathroom and he is standing in the doorway.He scared me so much I whacked him(that was satisfying) He said he is tired of fighting and we are lucky and wants to make-up.He said he wants to be happy and he tries to make me happy so he can be happy too by buying me things and trying to take me out when he can.Isnt that what I want? He was ticking it off his fingers- he said if I go and spend a few hundred dollars on you will you be happy?I want us to get along and I want to get into your bed. Its not like I havent told him all I want is to be listened to and shown i'm thought of, to not assume the worst of me. He is going to find a group but it sound like a group of spouses of sick people or something? He said ok now we have to make up after 24 hours after a fight,give each other more leeway and he doesnt want to leave if he can at all help it. I was prepared to do the lrt after this morning- dont know where I'm at or what I should be doing- if I hold back too much he will get upset but I have no happiness to show him I am so hurt and wary. What do I do?
