My Intro: Thanks for Reading!

[aliveandkicking]

IMO, that is perfect and would have been the best response.

[aliveandkicking]

And good for you for sending it. Remember, you can always start over.

Now, back waaaaay off because you've hit her with a lot here (the prior email).

[RedSoxFan]

Well, she seems happy for now. I'm picking up the kids at dinnertime and she's going to the memorial event. I guess the band plays in the evening. The pressure is off her and now I can be sad thinking about her with OM. Oh well.

She won't look at the emails until tomorrow.

I'm backing off now

[aliveandkicking]

now I can be sad thinking about her with OM.

You have two seconds allotted for that and then you are all about a) your kids and b) writing the great American novel or whatever it is that you've been putting off for too long

Be productive, focus on your life.

[RedSoxFan]

Thanks! I am...sorry for the whining

[aliveandkicking]

Oh please, you wanna see whining, dig up my threads.

Just trying to motivate you.

[aliveandkicking]

Hey, I re-read the email. So, I really don't see any choice for you hear but to do what you are doing. She made herself really clear.

It is not over but you have to respect where she's at and let her make her "own decisions"...

I know this doesn't help much but, it should be some comfort to know that there is really only one reasonable path to take.

[RedSoxFan]

She went to the event. When she was talking about the kids going she said she wasn't spending the night...it's at a camp ground. She texted me this a.m. telling me she's running a few minutes late (it's an hour away) and that I should just drop the kids off if I beat her. She acted like going was so much about her friend and not OM. Well did her friend need her to spend the night? I guess it is a long drive.

Thinking about her waking up with OM just sends me straight to tears. The hurt is so tremendous. I just get shaky with anxiety. I have no idea how you folks can be so strong. My heart is hurting and I just want to tell her to eff off and quit to make the hurting stop.

[RedSoxFan]

I changed my plans so she could get home before I drop the kids off. I wouldn't want the kids to see either of us coming in from overnights with OM or OW. Seems completely wrong, at least while we're still married. Am I just a prude?

I hate this.

[RedSoxFan]

I text her and write:

"I'll move my plans a bit. Bring the kids home around 10ish instead of 9."

She texts me back and says:

"Thanks. I got to have breakfast with everyone, I'll be home around 10"

"I'm sorry to mess up your morning."

"Did you miss your sailing lesson?"

"Lots of cops, I'm slowing it down"

Am I just a big sucker here? She expects me to believe that she sincerely cares about her old junior high friend (that I've never heard of in 20 years) that she has to be there to memorialize his death, and oh BTW he just happens to have been OM's best friend. She doesn't seem to give a sh*t about anyone or anything.

I love this woman dearly but I just don't know how to do this. How to subject myself to this hurt intentionally. Am I just too selfish. I don't know.

Am I supposed to drop the girls off with a big smile on my face and act like everything's fine?