A Little Epiphany - (and a newbie delurking)

[Dia]

Bought H's anniv. present from Amazon today. As planned, it will arrive on the doorstep Friday with me not here to claim it. Let him wonder about the box...

It's grill basket for fish/veggies. 20 bucks, useful, manly, not excessively romantic for the state of the sitch, etc. I will heat things up a lil with the card, tho. I haven't found the right card yet, but I'm the type to get a card along the lines of "You make my crayons melt" or some such.

You know, maybe I *am* detached afterall? The aniv. isn't bugging me at all. I'm not expecting anything. If there's a romantic dinner or a cuddle in the hammock, cool! If there's a card, cool. If there's nothing - well, not a big deal.

[givingitmyall]

Dia,

You sound GREAT. And you are doing even better.

And this:

As I was driving down our street, I saw H walking back from the school. He waved happily at me, then began to prance and caper in front of my oncoming vehicle. (DUDE! Seriously. Do NOT Tempt Me!)

...made me laugh.

Keep it up. I think you are correct that OW will be the one to crack.

[Dia]

FWIW, OW has been described to me as meek, mild, and quiet. My intuition is suggesting that her self-esteem is not so great. I hate to sound like a witch, but yes, I think she'll crack.

There are some toys here that belong to her daughter. If there's a sudden push to get those back to her, I'll know something is up. There's also a note listing the toys and a phone number on H's dresser - plain view, not snooping. I don't know if it's new or not as there's a lot of stuff (receipts, tags, groc. lists) on that dresser. At any rate, it will bear watching.

[mindfull]

Dia:

You make me smile everytime I read your sitch! LOL

I respectfully request you to orchestrate my "moves" with my H!

LOL Keep it up! Is she's meek, mild and quiet, she can't be any fun!!

Keep dancin' Keep drinkin' Keep bein' You!

[Dia]

Just rec'd my THIRD call from H today. Completely unheard of from him, though there have been occasional 'Do you want anything from the store?' calls on other visits. One of the calls can be discounted as he needed specific data for a health ins. app., but the other two - totally flimsy, groping-for-a-reason reasons.

And yes, he's bringing ground sirloin and wants to grill. I will be catnip tonight, but I won't drive. We'll see where he takes it.

Here, kitty, kitty.

[girlfromoz]

Dia I have just been reading through your posts. You have made me smile and laugh, I love your attitude.

Oz

[bluerain]

Nice job Dia. How often do you think that he and the OW communicate? Do they pass emails? Is the note on the dresser his or her writing?

And I agree with MB, I am open to suggestions!

[Coach]

Dia, Just wanted to let you know you are being a leader in your family right now. Keep handling it. My Greek FIL uses a expression - "The camels nose is in the tent." Meaning just a matter of time before the whole camel will be in the tent. In your case "the camels nose is in the tent."

Cheers

[Dia]

Hi, Oz & Blue.

How often do he and OW communicate - I have no freakin clue. He doesn't text, so they don't text. If he's calling her, he has to be doing it from work/on his lunch as he doesn't have a private office. She's a teacher, so it's unlikely that their lunches line up. Only twice in all the time I've been here have I strongly felt that he was emailing or chatting with her, and I don't have proof for those times. All in all, it would seem that contact initiated by him is sparse. I suppose they could be having email blasts while he's at work, but again - she's a teacher and I would guess that her access to personal email at work is limited.

She sends him cards in the mail every so often - "Miss you/thinking of you" sort of things, often with a photo. One of those came in the mail yesterday, I think. H had the mail in his hands and was nervous when he came home (and after all the great energy about grilling too - shucks!). He distracted me by handing me two catalogs and then he hid the rest of the mail. I only saw the back of a card shaped envelope, so I have no confirmation of what it was (or who it was from) - but he usually puts the mail on the bar. He doesn't know I saw the card.

He sucks at subterfuge, so that a good thing, LOL!! We don't get mail to the house. We have to go down to the Post Office to get it. So he could very easily have opened the card in the PO or in the car and I never would have known. *shrug* I'm carrying on as if I'm completely oblivious to the card and the email activity.

Last night was ok but not great. H was conflicted by the time he got home - b/c of the card, I assume. He's got a world with her and a world with me and when they collide, it would be very understandable for him to get anxious. We grilled and had good burgers. Things were light, upbeat and casual - but lacking some of the customary warmth.

There was a point where all three of us were reading under a blanket on the couch. H got up for something and was struck by how 'cute' we looked both reading these big, thick tomes. He took a picture. I found that significant, and he still talks about my kitty as if he's staying permanently.

*shrug* It is what it is. My first paycheck will be here soon, and I'll be getting some more DB Coaching sessions. The first one helped immensely, so we'll see what the rest do.

[Dia]

Dia, Just wanted to let you know you are being a leader in your family right now. Keep handling it. My Greek FIL uses a expression - "The camels nose is in the tent." Meaning just a matter of time before the whole camel will be in the tent. In your case "the camels nose is in the tent."

Cheers

Thank you for stopping in, Coach. I needed a pick-me-up this morning. With the increased heat on the R with OW, H is whipsawing more than usual and it's requiring greater effort and strength from me. I can handle it (on top of a move, a new job, school starting and a death in the family, no less. Oy!), but every bit of encouragement helps.