I think JR could really have used your help especially when he was following your advice so much. I thought it was a little uncool for you to drop him like that after he pumped you up so much.
Just my 2 cents.
That's why you are where you are and I am not.
You see Stuck, you are addicted to being on here everyday looking for some new advice or something else that can help your situation. Venting daily, journaling daily, asking for advice and feedback daily..
Big boys don't need that. I am not going to hold JR's hand. I gave him my advice. It isn't rocket science and I don't need to repeat the same things over and over. My time is more valuable than that and I WILL NOT do it. PERIOD. He needs to grow up and LEARN to handle things on his own. It is nonsense to be on here everyday and having to ask for advice on everything from " did I wipe my butt right this morning or should I do a 180 on that" to "should I get her a card to how should I this or how should I that"
That is how children act. I don't think it is good counseling to enable you by having to give advice everyday on every little issue. This is one of the reasons that you are still on here and still can't move on. It is childish.
I did notice though that JR did perfectly fine without my day to day, minute to minute help though..
Grow up Stuck. Come on. Put on your Big Boy Pants. It is time.
None. Haven't heard a thing from her or what is going on.
The same principles apply to counseling as they do to relationships.
No pressure. We can't force her to listen to us and wouldn't think of forcing her anyways. She knows how to get in touch.
I do have some news on the other friends of ours that we helped to reconcile.....
They called us last night and ask us to come over for a couple of drinks. (we had to say no because we had a long day the day before and were tired)
They seem to be moving forward quite well. The woman keeps asking questions to Mrs.Gooch on how to handle certain things.
The advice is to "enjoy things happily just the way they are" be happy. enjoy the time together. Let HIM bring up a relationship talk. Quit worrying about "where is this going"?
Me and the fetching Mrs. Puppy are getting along very well -- best of friends. Unfortunately, last time I checked, "best friends" don't have a lot of hot monkey sex, but that's her issue, not mine.
Seriously, we're hanging in there. Our recent news (unmarried D20 being pregnant) has the family reeling, and then pulling together, but it's a little overwhelming. Add to that a move coming up and our other daughter's boyfriend's custody battle for his little boy, and we are livin' by faith!
We were talking about JR here and not me. You were posting to him every day, egging him on to do things to attract his wife back, then when he really was in a state of indecision and asked for you specifically, you just dropped him.
I notice that on many posts you enjoy egging people on about leaving to earn respect or whatever and when they get all excited and thing start turning towards dealing with emotions, you leave them hanging. And when you do have some people who don't agree with all of your methods, you turn it around and make it a personal attack on you.
But hey, don't get your panties all in a bunch.
Even you admitted that you never had to deal with your spouse cheating on you in your sitch. So you can't relate to everything.
Sure I come here seeking advice sometimes. It's what the boards are for. You're the only one who throws a hissy fit when people don't follow what you want them to do. That's kinda controlling isn't it?
That's okay, you're only human.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
We were talking about JR here and not me. You were posting to him every day, egging him on to do things to attract his wife back, then when he really was in a state of indecision and asked for you specifically, you just dropped him.
Stuck,
I saw when you first posted this, and checked back on the thread, and I didn't see where Gucci did that? Where, exactly, did JR post to him and ask him something and Gooch didn't respond?
Gucci brought up a very important point here that I notice is overlooked in the discussions of Walk Away Wives and the loss of attraction your spouses may feel for you:
Originally Posted By: gucci loafer
" did I wipe my butt right this morning or should I do a 180 on that"
Do not undermined the importance of this. This woman you are so desperately trying to reconnect with, understand better and make love to has been washing your undies everyday for years. The last thing that will make her sexually attracted to you is a skid mark running down your underpants. God knows how many good marriages have gone to ruin because of that. You can read as many marriage related and divorce busting books you can, go to marriage counselling, independent counselling, rub her feet, buy her flowers, do 180's, GAL but if you fail to wipe your butt correctly your marriage IS doomed. period.
Strength, Confidence, Respect and a Clean A$$.
Do not under estimate the importance of these principals when trying to "get out of the friend zone."
Gucci brought up a very important point here that I notice is overlooked in the discussions of Walk Away Wives and the loss of attraction your spouses may feel for you:
Originally Posted By: gucci loafer
" did I wipe my butt right this morning or should I do a 180 on that"
Do not undermined the importance of this. This woman you are so desperately trying to reconnect with, understand better and make love to has been washing your undies everyday for years. The last thing that will make her sexually attracted to you is a skid mark running down your underpants. God knows how many good marriages have gone to ruin because of that. You can read as many marriage related and divorce busting books you can, go to marriage counselling, independent counselling, rub her feet, buy her flowers, do 180's, GAL but if you fail to wipe your butt correctly your marriage IS doomed. period.
Strength, Confidence, Respect and a Clean A$$.
Do not under estimate the importance of these principals when trying to "get out of the friend zone."
Steve McQueen.
From DAM to CAM.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
