Funny, in my case, he wants the kids but on his time and his terms. Heaven forbid we should just say hey I think that S16 is dying for a driving lesson because that cuts into his personal time. It is sad that here he was saying that he would never choose her over his kids(he said this to them) and yet he does it virtually every day.
I am not getting in between. We had a convo first of June, it got rather heated. anyway I asked him if he wanted me to help in terms of the kids. He said no let the cards fall where they may. So those cards are falling but I don't think the way he likes.
WAS! Who will ever figure them out?
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
No, this is your time. He shouldn't be offering to do anything with Marc. If it was something special, he of course could ask you and get your permission but no way does he go around behind your back.
Don't stress about it. Have your movie night with Marc. It will be fun.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
I should have just stepped back and let it go, but he keeps doing this to me and it's driving me nuts! I really felt I needed to put out there how little time I actually have that I can spend doing fun stuff, not just being mom and making him clean his room, do his homework, wash the dishes, etc..
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
Yeah, it's YOUR weekend! He wanted to switch, he got his wish. You were justified in telling him to let you have your time with Marc. You want to spend time with your son, that's VERY justified!
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
It's a perfectly reasonable boundary... and I think in your case necessary. When it is you weekend he MAY NOT ask Marc to do antthing with him. Make it crystal clear.
While he is busy not working, he could be responsible for lots of stuff during the week. Like that's going to happen!
I agree with the others- it's a perfectly reasonable thing to expect Gabe to respect your time with Marc as you do when he spends time with him. I think you were right to cal him on it. And I hope movie night was fun!
We had a wonderful movie night, thanks guys! We watched the latest of the 'mummy' movies. The Dragon Emperor I think it was called. It was good, not as much fun as the first two but Marc enjoyed it and that is what matters. He picked what he wanted to eat for movie night...prepare yourselves....shrimp nachos and chili dogs. Good grief! I told him I was going to have a coronary if I ate that for dinner but he insisted. I'm ashamed to say I indulged, but in very small quantity so not so bad.
I appreciate all of your support for my boundary setting efforts. Unfortunately Gabe will never get it. He will only see things in one way and if I don't fall in line with it then I'm just 'flipping out' and 'being crazy'. Whatever. He can have his opinion, I know what I'm trying to accomplish.
We went to church this morning (yea! I got up in time!) and it was a wonderful sermon. It spoke directly to my heart but I unfortunately spent the first half of the time crying my eyes out and trying to hide it. Our pastor is on sabbatical so one of the lay ministers in our congregation spoke. He is a motivational speaker with an orginaztion called Winning With Encouragement. He's a gem and shared something that hit me hard. I walked into church fully planning to avoid my family. Avoid my cousin. I have been so depressed for so long that I just don't want to be around anyone I love because I feel I bring nothing to the table no matter how much I try to fake happy-go-lucky. Only my closest cousin was there this morning and she had saved two seats next to her for me and Marc. I was running a few minutes late so I didn't really have a choice of places to sit and she had already spotted me so I couldn't gracefully slink past. So, hurdle one jumped. Then, the speaker came up and started talking about living with grace. Living by faith and how hard that is. He told the story that a little over 20 years ago he went through a horrible period of depression that led him to the edge of despair. He found himself avoiding everyone in his life including his family because he just couldn't put on that fake face anymore. After approximately 6 months of this he found himself sitting in the dark on the edge of his bed sobbing and begging God to end his life. He cried out telling God he didn't want to live this life anymore and saw no reason to go on. He said that was a huge turning point for him and he was able to pull himself out of that period though 3 therapists including one that told him the best way to defeat depression is to serve others. Volunteer. Do things for someone less fortunate and watch the light fill your heart and soul.
Good God! He could have been up there telling my story. Word for word. I can't tell you how many nights I lay in my bed crying for God to kill me and put me out of this misery. Holy schmoly! Now I need to come to grips with this and find my way through it. I couldn't have picked a better Sunday to show up!!!
So that's the haps today. Hope you all had a wonderful weekend and we'll catch up soon.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
