Can it get any worse?

[Dawn of Hope]

Wow, that line sure is getting long... ...and is that a stampede I hear?

[a new 2moro]

hey GG.....are you ok?

[glamgirl]

Thanks for checking in on me. I am actually doing very well despite my situation. I was having a semi meltdown this week and a friend was able to lift my spirits. PH and SC if you read this thank you so much for being there for me. You both seem to know exactly what to say to me.

I have focused my energy and anger into fitness. I actually have a good routine in place to lose the belly fat and continue to firm up. I am feeling great in that respect.

I am working out 6 days a week twice a day. Weight lifting and lots of cardio and a nutrition program to match. It's only week one, but so far doing good. It's an 8 week plan and then I will evaluate my results and see where to go from here.

As far as h, firm and friendly. It's working fine. I really have absolutely NO control over his life or what a mess he has made of it. The sooner I got to that conclusion the better. No more waiting around for him to return. I can finally focus on Glam and what is right for me and the kids. I am in a good place. All I can do is control ME!

I do long for a family situation. It was really my life long goal. Something always seems to get in the way of me reaching that goal, but my life is not over by any means.

I still read and post now and then, but with my new fitness goals and the kids I have little time.

I keep praying that God continues to encourage and strengthen me every step of the way. Regardless of anyone's situation life must move forward. We cannot be stuck on life's past mistakes and dwell negativity from it. We must remain positive and forge ahead paving a better life for ourselves. This is all I can ask of myself.

Cheers life goes on!

[a new 2moro]

did you see a L? how about the paternity test?

[forward]

GG, I am glad to hear that you are taking good care of yourself.

Firm but friendly is good. As far as everything else, I am trying to leave that to life and God.

[Silent Chrleader]

Glad to see you doing pretty well. I am too!

I'll try to call you this weekend, Glam!

((((((hugs))))))

[glamgirl]

Doing good. Yes Anew2 the kids come first. I have not heard anything more regarding h and his issues and that is exactly what they are h's issues.

I have had to let go of anything regarding my h. Not my concern. He is not my concern. Once I learned that it has made it easier. As much as I want to control the situation and outcome I realize that is NOT going to happen.

I am moving forward for me and the kids. Once you let go it's all for the better. I am friendly with h, but no longer hanging onto the h and w syndrome. That is not what we have been for the past 3 years.

He did mention something the other day about realizing what has been in front of him all along and that he hurt me and kids to find out. Not at all sure what that meant nor did I ask. Just more of the confusion, but let it all go, since my life is moving in another direction.

I am working out almost daily and feeling great. Meeting some friends for the first time in a long time and have plans to look forward to.

I am in week 2 of my diet plan and work out and feeling great so far. It has really boosted my self confidence. Got my hair cut today in a shorter style and updated my look. Tomorrow pedicure, manicure and clothes shopping. I am dropping more weight and am in the need for some new clothes.

SC I look forward to hearing from you.

[Silent Chrleader]

Gee, Glam, I don't know if I should come down there to visit like I planned....... You'll be looking all slim, trim and racy, and I'll feel like the "schlub" beside you!!

[glamgirl]

Hey SC I am a far cry from looking hot, but I do look and feel better than I did a year ago. Thanks to you, pointing out the circuit training. I do believe it's helping.

Not sure where this will all end, but the hardest part is looking at h and really embracing the person he became. Not in a million years would I have believed it if someone had told me what he was capable of. He didn't really seem to be the type, but then he really fooled me.

It is still so hard to imagine the person I loved so much, did all these hurtful things to me, his kids, his family, his friends. I just shake my head.

I guess it really shows what happens when you stray so far away from God. You lose your moral compass.

I can't imagine that my h really even likes himself. How could he be happy with his life or situation. The problem is he refuses to do anything about it.

He was adored by his family. He had so much going for himself. Now he has reduced himself to the shell of a man he is today. He could get some dignity back IF he tried. He could show his kids what it is to be a real man and a h, but he chooses not to. Why he chose the life he has now and continues to choose that life is beyond me.

I really thought by this time he would have tired of his life. I guess I was wrong. I guess I was way wrong of him as a person too.

I believe more and more that maybe we were just not right for each other. I thought he would be content raising a family, but in hidesight I guess he just didn't fit that mold.

I also think all the time he was saying I didn't respect him, what he really was saying is he didn't respect me as his w, friend, lover, or partner. He still doesn't respect me.

I will leave it at that. I so longed and still do for answers, but they will never be found. Do the anwers really matter?

I am just sad that my h was just one of the many spouses that wasn't strong enough when it was needed most. He could be enjoying not only his kids, but his own family at this time.

I just cry when h's family send photos of such happy times together without h. He truly doesn't know what he is missing. He will never get that time back or bond that was broken. He doesn't seem to care either whether his bro's and parents are in his life. It's as if they don't exist to him.

One of his aunts just passed away and I let h know. He just seemed to shrug and said something about how they make a big deal about death. I remember a time when my h's mom was hospitalized and my h jumped on a plane as fast as lightning to be by his mom's side. Now he wouldn't even make a phone call to honor his aunt. So sad, so sad!

[Golfgirl1]

Wow! I am new to this site, but your story sounds like mine. I just got the 'bomb' in May and I'm ready to boot his but already after 2 months and you've been at this for 3 years. What made you want to try and save your marriage for that long? I'm really intrigued...I am so hurt, betrayed, angry, I can't imagine hanging on or holding out for that long.

Keep working out....you go girl! I am 47 years old and a former fitness instructor. Nothing feels better than looking good!