But, this is what I wanted to comment on before my eyes shut completely...
Originally Posted By: aliveandkicking
This man who practically delivered our first son is now worse than a stranger to me...
This is such an apt choice of words... I know I've seen it expressed my many on these boards at one time or another, but it just strikes me that so many of us now see the person we "knew" so well as a complete stranger...
And all of a sudden I started to hear Billy Joel in my brain...
Well we all have a face That we hide away forever And we take them out and Show ourselves When everyone has gone Some are satin some are steel Some are silk and some are leather They're the faces of the stranger But we love to try them on
Well we all fall in love But we disregard the danger Though we share so many secrets There are some we never tell Why were you so surprised That you never saw the stranger Did you ever let your lover see The stranger in yourself?
Don't be afraid to try again Everyone goes south Every now and then You've done it, why can't Someone else? You should know by now You've been there yourself
Once I used to believe I was such a great romancer Then I came home to a woman That I could not recognize When I pressed her for a reason She refused to even answer It was then I felt the stranger Kick me right between the eyes
Well we all fall in love But we disregard the danger Though we share so many secrets There are some we never tell Why were you so surprised That you never saw the stranger Did you ever let your lover see The stranger in yourself?
Don't be afraid to try again Everyone goes south Every now and then You've done it why can't Someone else? You should know by now You've been there yourself
You may never understand How the stranger is inspired But he isn't always evil And he is not always wrong Though you drown in good intentions You will never quench the fire You'll give in to your desire When the stranger comes along.
well written. But....OUCH! Sorry you are here. j-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
I'm not making light of the situation AAK...I just found this to be incredibly funny at the moment! I've got Diet Mountain Dew coming out of my nostrils right now!
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
I'm not making light of the situation AAK...I just found this to be incredibly funny at the moment! I've got Diet Mountain Dew coming out of my nostrils right now!
I would like to buy a vowel please. Are there any "U"s?
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
not much worse than a hangover that didn't even get you "off" the night before...geez, guess what you really NEED to do, is drink.
I mean if you're gonna feel lousy anyhow?
Hey, hope your day is going better....know that the good days will come. A few now and then, and then more, and then more often than not. And then one day you'll say to yourself, "Hey, what's this? I'm HAPPY!" and you will be.
((( j )))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Uhhh...kind of confused. Saw T today. She was an interesting lady. We covered a lot. Her impression of H was that he is a malignant narcissist (woohoo) based on what I told her of course.
Some of her advice threw me off like...tell the kids H is coming back*!? I told her I can't do that because I don't think he is and I don't know that I could take him back.
She suggested that we should spend family time together for the kids sake. I told her right now I just can't because his treatment of me is too much and I get too emotional. That I have been trying for months to do that and I have reached my limit. But, I am going to think about what I am capable of.
She told me that I need to stroke his ego and when I said I've been doing that for months. She asked, "well if you've done all of this, why are you coming to therapy?" I liked the challenge. I said "because I need to be able to take care of myself and my children and stop being all about him." So we went down that road a little.
I liked that she understood the dynamic and his behavior.
She seems to think he is still acting out and from a narcissistic injury (which I suspect was me withholding sex and him feeling rejected)...she does not see him as done and feels I need to be prepared for more acting out.
She said if it were her, she would not allow him to have the kids at all until he seeks help...I have to probe that a little more with her. Not sure if that is within my control.
I liked that she was a little aggressive with me. I can be a bit of a know it all and I need the challenge. She was also very impressed with my ability to separate his sh*t from mine and my awareness of what was happening...
I'm kind of baffled, but we did resolve that my focus is on maintaining my own mental health and vision of myself and I need to take whatever actions support that.
There was more but, I think that's enough for now. I am going back on Monday because I am just confused about so much of what we covered and what actions I am to take. She did not support me filing for D. She thinks that other steps should be taken first and that H should get help too.
Oh, even scarier, when I told her that the only way our R works is if I keep my mouth shut and boost H's ego, she said that is how Rs with narcissists work. Ummm....I don't think I can do that in a M...As you know, I have an opinion and like to talk...
Just dealing with so much money stress and having to communicate with H is hard. I think if I can accept that even under the worst case scenario, I will be ok, I can get through this.
She said D would get very ugly with H.
Oh, and she said if I start working and doing well, he will act out more...fun stuff.
