Take some video if you can. Sorry you are feeling sick. Peace, Goldey
Good idea.
Can some one please tell me why everything is just coming for H...friends giving him furniture and money and paying for lunches and helping the poor guy out.
A/K, what are you missing? (A normal h?). Honey it's what HE is missing, which is pride and shame. He has no sense of shame and his pride is misplaced by a long shot...
The property--anything inherited or gifted to an individual specifically (like inheritance really) is separate and anything you brought TO the M, IF it was kept separate which is why you should keep any and all inheritances, (you wish, right? Don't we all) but let's Say we have some rich uncle die and leave us a ton of money...keep that in a separate account you never commingle with family funds. This protects you AND btw, is usually good for tax purposes and can be protected from creditors if placed in a trust so there are lots of reasons to keep it separate so talk to a CPA if the time ever arises....and it cannot be split in half as marital assets. You could at least argue that the dining room set your parents gave you, hypothetically, is YOURS and not the "family's", so maybe keep track of that stuff. And don't let him pull what my bil did wiht the house furniture.
My bil div my older sister and He wanted the dining room stuff, the living room stuff AND the den, b/c he "gave my sister all the kid's rooms"....can you believe it? The kids stuff is THEIRS!! No it didn't work with my bil, but I had to "explain" to him 4 times why his self serving approach would hurt him in court b/c he was literally unable to see another way. His selfishness blinded him...basic fairness eluded him for quite some time. Took a lot of discussion. Finally we "counter offered HIM the kids furniture for ALL the rest" and then he thought maybe we had a point...
Kids stuff is kids stuff for wherever they are...and you split the "adult" stuff that doesn't have an obvious owner. Some heirloom given to you both, but really from one side of the family--set of dishes inherited at death but not specifcially naming you or h, should probably remain his or yours. BUT let me add something.
My h's grandmother died recently and left "me" some jewelry. 4 main pieces and our 3 kids are her only lineal descendants (God knows cousins from the woodwork are appearing, but that'a another story). Anyhow, I wear one piece sometimes, and put the other three away for when my d's get older, and or when our s22 asks someone to marry him. Then the DIL can have it (IF she stays M to my son!!) Each child will get one of the pieces and I'll pass the 4th piece to whomever h wants. Don't know yet. Point is I feel as if I'm "holding" it for them. I KNOW I won't sell it or give it away b/c I'm just not that type of person. The kids would have to be starving or need an organ transplant, you KWIM?
Anyhow, we who post and read here, all ache for you and in some small way I hope that lessens your suffering. We do feel your pain and wish we could make it go away. Each of us shoulders a bit of it, a part we can "handle" so that your burden is lighter.
Let yourself feel that, okay? Take care, you'll get thru this...you ARE getting thru it.
((( ))) ]j-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Thanks 25, I hope he doesn't see a L because most things of value that were gifted were given to him. I sold anything that I could consider "mine" to throw him an elaborate birthday party last year (yep, I'm such a "bitch")...
I think I am just bitter and angry. I don't want him getting ANY furniture or anything else for that matter. How can someone do this and make off with goodies. I doubt he'll take any furniture anyway because it isn't awesome enough and he is so hooked up now, he'll get free sh*t from his fan club.
I am going to lose more than him because I CARE.
I thank you for taking some of the burden. Reading your words somehow did lift some of it off of me.
I know this is the HARD HARD HARD part.
I need to tap into some of my righteous indignation and somehow, despite the feeling I am being f*cked, know I am doing the right thing.
"My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand." Thich Nhat Hanh
Thanks 25, I hope he doesn't see a L because most things of value that were gifted were given to him. I sold anything that I could consider "mine" to throw him an elaborate birthday party last year (yep, I'm such a "bitch")... Gee, it really shows...
I think I am just bitter and angry.
Don't worry too much about that as long as you are not bitter "INSIDE" but better...
I don't want him getting ANY furniture or anything else for that matter. How can someone do this and make off with goodies. I doubt he'll take any furniture anyway because it isn't awesome enough and he is so hooked up now, he'll get free sh*t from his fan club.
I am going to lose more than him because I CARE.
Boy you are so wrong on that one. In the long run. You will gain, he will lose. You may not see it yet, but it's already happening...
I thank you for taking some of the burden. Reading your words somehow did lift some of it off of me.
That's why we are here...
I know this is the HARD HARD HARD part.
I need to tap into some of my righteous indignation and somehow, despite the feeling I am being f*cked, know I am doing the right thing.
YOU ARE DOING THE RIGHT THING...think about it. What healthy option do you have? If there were one, someone around here would have mentioned it...you are doing what you gotta do and if that were easy, we wouldn't need a place like this.
Peace. YOU TOO!
It will get better and this too, shall pass. Trust that. j-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Kids are sleeping at my parents. My sister came by. Alone in this house. I am pondering where we will move...seeing T tomorrow...then most likely to L.
I have this fist in my chest that restricts my breathing just a bit. I am in it. This slow tearing apart has been so agonizing.
This man who practically delivered our first son is now worse than a stranger to me...
On the upside, once I have lived through this, the experience I have been dreading so, I can hopefully find a new normal.
25, I haven't signed up on the FB but I will soon. I would like to get together IRL. I would love your input as I make a decision regarding where we will live.
But, this is what I wanted to comment on before my eyes shut completely...
Originally Posted By: aliveandkicking
This man who practically delivered our first son is now worse than a stranger to me...
This is such an apt choice of words... I know I've seen it expressed my many on these boards at one time or another, but it just strikes me that so many of us now see the person we "knew" so well as a complete stranger...
And all of a sudden I started to hear Billy Joel in my brain...
Well we all have a face That we hide away forever And we take them out and Show ourselves When everyone has gone Some are satin some are steel Some are silk and some are leather They're the faces of the stranger But we love to try them on
Well we all fall in love But we disregard the danger Though we share so many secrets There are some we never tell Why were you so surprised That you never saw the stranger Did you ever let your lover see The stranger in yourself?
Don't be afraid to try again Everyone goes south Every now and then You've done it, why can't Someone else? You should know by now You've been there yourself
Once I used to believe I was such a great romancer Then I came home to a woman That I could not recognize When I pressed her for a reason She refused to even answer It was then I felt the stranger Kick me right between the eyes
Well we all fall in love But we disregard the danger Though we share so many secrets There are some we never tell Why were you so surprised That you never saw the stranger Did you ever let your lover see The stranger in yourself?
Don't be afraid to try again Everyone goes south Every now and then You've done it why can't Someone else? You should know by now You've been there yourself
You may never understand How the stranger is inspired But he isn't always evil And he is not always wrong Though you drown in good intentions You will never quench the fire You'll give in to your desire When the stranger comes along.
New: What a Weekend
H-48 WAW-49 M-22 S-14,9 D-11 EA disc.-11/07 PA disc.-3/08 EA2?-6/08 to ?
