Trusting, When they are spewing, it is hard to be kind. I think it is especially hard for women because it is so threatening.
Try to ignore. If your divorce is final, he is not going to get more furniture, and if he's broke, well then, not too smart to waste money on legal stuff.
You seem so much in the boat I am--we are cast as the Mommy figure and they are the rebel teenage boys. I am trying to get out of that role and I think the best way to do it is to stay far away.
M: 16 years Bomb 4/07 OW 20s long gone Divorced 11/09 I remarried New Guy Cooperative r w/X regarding D
Thank you for your comments. I really needed to hear from friends who understand the "very scary" part of the MLC. I don't really scare that easy, but I did yesterday.
I am going to leave him alone for a while now. No answering calls or texts or emails. If he wants to take me back to court than let him.
I have to stand up to his bullying. Seems like his only concern is money. It is amazing how they blame their life on us. My son informed me that ex is now aware of my European friend. Maybe this is a reason for some of the anger... who knows.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
They get very weird during the divorce proceedings.
Mine detached big time. His emotions went from crying to spewing, to being very depressed.
They lie, lie , and lie in court.
My mouth hung open most of the time it was so bad.
He made himself look like a wealthy entrepreneur who was full of integrity. ---puke.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
You never know what they will do. Always drama....,. That is what they feed off of
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
your XH anger may be due to your european friend I think our X know when the focus and energy has been shifted from them to another..they dont like it I believe they expected us to wait forever and we would not have another R My XH seems somewhat like yours he seems to be unhappy and wanting to blame me, but he never says anything he shows by his actions his constant moodiness, withdrawl then sometimes normal and I believe he knows my interest is now somewhere else and doesnt like it peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
People in mlc expect us to be right where they left us when they entered their little private crisis mode. They want to live the life of riley and yet, be able to lash out at "mommy" or "daddy" whenever they feel like it. They don't want us to move on to someone else. We are their possession in their eyes.
Trusting, your xh is lashing out because of the money, but more so because of your friend. Let him simmer in his pot for a while. They all do this when they feel that their control has been threatened and someone else is stepping into their territory. They never stop to consider what they've done in the mix.
Unless I'm really off base, I don't think he'll take you to court. Also, his comment about he furniture....well he got exactly what he wanted and he had better pull out the divorce decree and read it again. He doesn't get any thing else unless you so desire to give it to him out of the goodness of your heart. He's just being a brat....let him be. Continue living your life and enjoying your time w/your children.
Your h is actually getting a very good taste of reality and he doesn't like it.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Interesting comments. I am also inclined to believe, Trusting, that he would not take you to court: that would require money and if your divorce is finalized, he's going to have a hard time.
M: 16 years Bomb 4/07 OW 20s long gone Divorced 11/09 I remarried New Guy Cooperative r w/X regarding D
Trusting, One thing I was thinking about from your sig, too, is that your H moved very quickly with his impulsive OW decision. Bomb to D was quick.
My theory is that the ones who move fastest crash hardest. I'd kind of like to believe that they may have a better chance to recovering. Reality intrudes more quickly and more severely.
My H has been slow but not wavering.
Last edited by forward; 07/12/0906:35 PM.
M: 16 years Bomb 4/07 OW 20s long gone Divorced 11/09 I remarried New Guy Cooperative r w/X regarding D
