Wife said she's done update

[fisherman]

I will not drive myself crazy trying to bring her back around. I just don't have it in me anymore.

What I will do is take care of my kids, and be the best father I can.

That's why you drop the rope....let her go and take care of you and your children so you don't drive yourself crazy.

Let her go totally, see what happens......

[Eye of the Tiger]

Hi Paul,
I know exactly what you are going thru.Maybe by putting the pressure on her to file,she will think about what she is doing.My sitch is almost the same.I feel like I can't take anymore sometimes.Problem in my sitch. is that I live in a fault state and she has no grounds against me.So it is now up to me to make this devastating decision.Hope everything woks out for you.Take care.

M-13yrs
T-15yrs
S12,S10
Bomb-12/08

[AlexEN]

WAI,

This:

I lost my cool yesterday, and that will not happen again. She no longer has any power over me.

... is so much easier said than done.

Write it down.

Read it when you wake up, at lunch, in the evening and when you go to bed...

And only when you truly Feel this way with no lingering doubt will you Truly be there...

I'm 99% of the way there, but that last 1% is the most difficult part...

I'm pullin' for you...

-AlexEN

[AlexEN]

Hi Paul,
I know exactly what you are going thru.Maybe by putting the pressure on her to file,she will think about what she is doing.My sitch is almost the same.I feel like I can't take anymore sometimes.Problem in my sitch. is that I live in a fault state and she has no grounds against me.So it is now up to me to make this devastating decision.Hope everything woks out for you.Take care.

M-13yrs
T-15yrs
S12,S10
Bomb-12/08

Wow... I didn't realize there was any state that would still put the gun in the hand of the aggrieved spouse... That s*cks...

[Mach1]

What I will do is take care of my kids, and be the best father I can.

Then you are truly a DB success story, married or not.


Not a judgemental person.....just mental, LOL

I wish you all the best Paul......

[Eye of the Tiger]

Unfortunate or fortunate.Yes in NY you need grounds for a divorce.or a legal sep. for a year.

[Stronger]

Hello Where
We'll miss you and hope for you all the great things that you deserve.
Keep in mind and be ready for this.....she may come back. You have to know exactly how you want to handle that. My guess, it will happen in less than 90 days.
Take care,
ADB

[whereami]

Update, my parents and kids left this morning, that was hard. I know it's the best for them it has been chaotic at our house. W wrote a letter to my parents apologizing for being rude and cold to my parents, and she was.

I got a little emotional when the kids left. Once they started to cry I couldn't help it, and it is hard to make me cry sometimes. I know they are worried about me, but actualy I'm doing better then I have been since this all started. I will check back every now and then to update on my situation.

I'm still feeling the same about what my plans are, nothing has changed there. I feel as if a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I'm not saying it doesn't still hurt, but I can see a light (although it's dim) at the end of the tunnel.

I'm assuming W (I don't even feel like calling her that anymore) will not be staying at the house since the kids are gone. I'm actually glad, I need the break aswell. Time for me to GAL.

Thanks again
Paul

[Stronger]

Hey Paul,
I have to know....did she leave the house or is she still staying there? Or maybe she gone some nights, there on others?

I wanted to warn you....once you make this decision to end it, they sense it, freak out and start to pursue you. Be ready for it and know what you want to do.

I hope you are well my friend.

[whereami]

She hasn't been home that I know of since the kids went with my parents.

I did call her this morning just to touch base on what's happening with the kids. She did say she was going to come by to do some laundry.

Had my second IC appointment yesterday. I'm not sure what I'm getting out of it other then venting. I guess it's better to vent to my IC versus my family and friends. I'm sure they are getting sick of hearing about my situation.

My youngest son is taking this a lot harder then my other two kids. It makes me so pissed off at my W how selfish she is being right now. My sister called me yesterday to let me know that my son called W and was asking her why she is doing this to our family. He asked her why she wont go to MC to try and work this out. I'm not sure what she said to him other then she doesn't think MC will help, and that she wasn't willing to try it. Like everyone else he doesn't understand why.

I'm thinking about taking a couple vacation days and going up to see the kids next week.

Had a great day out on the lake with a couple of friends. Then went out for a couple of drinks, and listened to a live band attempt to play some music.Man they were awful, but it was entertaining.

As far as getting a divorce, I'm not gong to rush anything. I'm not in a hurry to give W half of my net income.

Paul