Can you ask a child c? Definitely reassure them he will see them again and often and that he is not leaving their lives so much as moving his stuff to where he spends most of his time. It can be called a "trial sep" if you must.
I just know that my kids needed to hear what was going to remain the same in their lives such as if they'd stay in the school or neighborhood, and when they'd see him. My d, then 9, felt reassured when I told her we'd only move "a long time from now" and when we did, it would not be far away so she'd see her peeps...and I said, "I will make whatever choice I make that I think will make YOU happiest" and she remembered that comment a long time and felt a lot better. (A child C told me that one).
IF h isn't reliable about when he'll see them...cross that bridge when you get to it but be ready to do a little "covering" for him in the sense that you can't tell them it's b/c he doesn't care. You'll need to take steps to protect them later though so he can't keep disappointing them. Some will disagree but a book called "What About the Kids?" Says to reassure them that both parents love them (even if there is OW...)
Might try to get that book...good luck, ouch... j-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Hi 25 and others. I would like to address the issue of the kids being there when H moves out. I think they should not be there but I have only a couple of days to express this and I might like to have something he can read too.
I know they will need a few days to digest it so I would like to talk to them soon.
25- Unfortunately, I don't know when and where we will be moving and if they will stay in the same school...trying to sort it out.
I am on fb and am a member of DB there. Would love to meet you both A&K and 25.
Shawna F
"It is excruciating pain. It is the pain of separation, the pain of loss, the pain of dreams and expectations unrealized. It is the loss and death of a mirage."
No, they absolutely should not be there for it. Take them out of the house. Go to the park, go to the beach, go on a picnic--anything to distract them.
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~ SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
FB hint: You can share different postings, pictures, and features with different Friends Groups. Should your boss or distant family member (or H) ask you to be a Friend you can selectively share some items but not all (like those New Year's Eve photos in the chicken suit...) .
Last edited by orangedog; 07/11/0905:31 AM.
"My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand." Thich Nhat Hanh
Others may have different views but let the anger come and go. Feel it, watch it, process thru it, then let it leave when it's ready. Just know it's there (and don't make important decisions).
Talk to your friends.
"My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand." Thich Nhat Hanh
