Yeah, that is the issue. Not what your h will do or say or think or characterize this as...and who the hell cares how HE sees it? Again I ask you, do you really think he'll gain insight into this after all this time? He hasn't thus far and if there is a way for him to "get it", it's ONLY going to be by you taking the upper hand and stopping the nonsense. (Remember that book, "Stop the Insanity!"? Your sitch reminds me of that...only not a diet).
Anyhow, I do see progress in you, but not in him or the sitch. So, I guess I leave you with that. For now I mean. You feel differently but you are not following thru UNTIL yesterday so that's good. Too bad it's still so tough but it does get easier. Practice. And look at how he stopped being an ass when you acted like an adult not a puppy with him.
As for your comments, yes I do sense some excuse making in your views. But I concur that you need to get a good c for you and for the kids as you move forward. Don't count on your h getting any and why on earth would you even mention him getting help (I think you did). My fear is that you are, in reality, still waiting for him. And or, letting your fears paralyze you. And you cannot do that. But you can move forward and protect your kids. At some point they'll know things are weird if they don't already - and God knows they must see some of your pain. Imagine being single and not miserable...can you visualize your life not sucking? I can.
Try hard to focus on that imagery and not the fears. And get a good c asap. What are you waiting for as far as a c? I mean, what's the hold up?
Keep posting. There will be movement. (I hope.) ((( j- )))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
H texted me in the pre-dawn hours that he is so stressed about money and why aren't my parents helping more etc.
I really let him have it, not bitch, just straightforward and when is he going to look at himself???
Texted me back that he was up all night looking at himself.
I said we should discuss these matters in person as grown ups.
We have absolutely HUGE financial issues and they are the a huge part of why he ran away. Now, it is hitting him and he thinks my dad will bail us out???
I really wish I could find someone to help us wade through this. We need a really adept MC and I am not saying to fix the marriage but to help us tackle the multitude of issues from finances, to emotional, to the kids.
I will see if the C tomorrow is capable of dealing with this kid of situation.
He just told me his "amazing" rich friend will pay for a place for him for the next few months. That's it. I told him that is amazing that he will be enabled and never have to grow up. Cool for him but not too cool for his kids.
