Can it get any worse?

[a new 2moro]

GG Im so sorry for you! I know you wanted your real H back. next time he says hes coming over leave before hand and then say "oh H you never come when you say you are....i didnt want to waste MY family's day waiting for someone who is prob not gonna show anyway"

you have let him lead this dance for 3 yrs now...its time for you to lead. I hope this week you will find and meet with a lawyer...get whats due you and the kids before tramp=o gets her mitts on it.

I hope you wont waste time filing, your H has become so complacent leaving you to pick up the pieces while waiting on him and for him.

start telling people the truth....hes so sure you wont and will enable him to keep the charade up.

you are worth so much more than he allows you to be. Time for GG to soar with eagles

[braveheart]

Glam, see a lawyer, get a legal separation, set his child support, ENFORCE IT. Have the court set his visitation, hold him to it, cut the strings and let go. Its all about business at this point in the game, so protect yourself and the kids.

[glamgirl]

Anew2 you are right. I am picking up the pieces and my kids come first. I have not been there in the past and have not answered my phone, just to find h waiting until I returned. He waited for hours for me to return, so not so sure saying anything to him is the answer. For me silence is the best answer. There will be no reason to converse with him.

It's different now though, I won't be waiting for him anymore. Today was only because it was planned with the kids. No more plans for the future. I won't be waiting for him to arrive.

I am doing what's right for me. I can't say that I am happy that this has come to this situation, but I can say I am at peace with moving forward without my h.

It was like waiting around for someone that just couldn't make a decision and would continue to make me out to be the bad one. Never once stopping to look himself in the mirror and professing how wrong he treated everyone. Not in his vocabulary nor was it something he was willing to do.

The kids are not feeling well and were not up to going to a parade. We will just rest and then have a BBQ later, with fireworks in the evening.

[glamgirl]

Yes BH I am protecting the kids and making progress forward. What other choice do I have? It's now about the kids. H will not step forward we know that. It's time for me to step forward for them.

[Upside]

(((glam)))
I know this has to be so hard for you. Your H just isn't willing to look at himself. I hope for your kids that someday he can figure this all out but for you, you need to let go and live your life for you now.

You have been given some great advice here. I don't need to repeat it.

I hope you and your kids are able to have an enjoyable holiday. Maybe you should celebrate this as YOUR Independence Day.

(((HUGS)))

[glamgirl]

Thanks Upside. I like that idea. "Independent, Independent, throw your hands up in the air."

Have a Happy 4th!

[braveheart]

Glam, you are right, only you will be available for the kids, but H has obligations to them and it will be up to you to see that he lives up to them. He will try to manipulate you to not do them, but you must stand firm and set major boundaries to ensure that he does.

[brandnewday]

woulda
coulda
shoulda

that was me......

So, it's Independence Day....

Glam, you are going to survive this ordeal, and so will your children.

Unfortunately for many of these MLC'ers the damage that they have done makes it practically impossible for them to retunr home.

I honestly beleive they don't think they are worthy of forgiveness, and would rather wallow in their self pity.

[iluvme55]

Mine has never apologized .......he also thinks he has done nothing wrong....he has no conatact with his children at all...nothing....all the signs of MLC were there...but maybe he was just a walkaway all along....either way he left us and we dont exist to him any longer.....just his new life with her...25 yrs. I had with him and I am grateful for that, the memories we made... to him there are none as they say in here he has rewritten our history...
but I have the best thing left all all this mess and that is I have our children and that is the best of all.....
you and I we will be ok, you have shown your kids that you fight till there is no more fight left in us for what we know is the right thing to do....
when we make decisions by feelings we get ourselves into trouble all of us...the feelings go away at some point but the right choices are with us forever...hope you had a happy July 4th

[glamgirl]

Well it was an interesting day to say the least. No 2X4's here please.

H comes over around 3pm. I was getting back from the park. Now I was trying really hard just to be. I tried staying downstairs while h was upstairs and just read a magazine paper etc. Just busy.

Then h drags me upstairs. He is all lovey dovey. Well I couldn't resist and yep had sex with him. Well it's not like we haven't been having it on a regular basis. I do really enjoy it with my h. I know shouldn't have, but 15 years with this guy is hard to just walk away like that. If I didn't love the sex with him so much.

Geez h comes over and acts like everything is just fine. We cooked steaks on the grill and then in the evening lit some fireworks. Overall it actually was a very fun day.

I did mention something about h never coming home and he said aren't you pessimistic. Oh yeah h, same guy just a few days ago says I am never coming home. What's changed?

This was my party to end it all. So we go out with a bang.