Apart from the foregoing, what about The Note? I feel like some response -- or, if not "response," then acknowledgment or reflection, is in order.
I can think of the smart-a** version by myself. I'm wondering about more thoughtful reflections. Quite apart from the dodging of direct responsibility, what do we / can we learn from such missives? Gypsy? Greek?
My suggestion is to bang out a note that spells it all out. Say what you have to say (anger or whatever else is bubbling inside of you) and then delete it and never send it. I have done this many times (and had I sent them I might have wound up in jail, lol!) but it does give you some sort of satisfaction just to say the words and see them in print. I cant say why exactly but for me, it was very theraputic.
I understand that you don't want or need that, and I accept it.
SP - This is the part that really bothers me. She would have to be blind, deaf, and probably, mute, to not see that you "WANTED" to rebuild something.
I didn't want to do this, but I can't help myself... The comment you pulled out of The Note struck me as Mrs. SP's equivalent of Mrs. A's...
These are things I also feel, and I am thrilled that you are looking forward with optimism.
...from The Letter.
The mind-reading cuts both ways, I'm doing my best not to do so, but it certainly feels like there's a some mind-reading and projecting in the written thoughts of these two WAS...
New: What a Weekend
H-48 WAW-49 M-22 S-14,9 D-11 EA disc.-11/07 PA disc.-3/08 EA2?-6/08 to ?
I've got to admit, it is beyond belief. She is blaming you for the finality of the situation. You, who have expressed optimism to her pessimism time after time.
But it is the same as the letter. Look at me, I'm crying. I have feelings. You were my great love, I cry, therefore I am! "Je pleure, donc je suis!"
WAW just sent me an e-mail. Forwarding me an email from her Oldest Childhood Friend.
OCF was there at "the moment" when WAW decided to arm the Bomb.
OCF was the first one WAW contacted after dropping said Bomb. The first one WAW informed that she was now free to pursue "other interests LOL" -- viz, the late and unlamented, the ghost of OM's past, Signore Schmuckatelli. So OCF is what you might call the Charter Member of Team WAW.
Now let me say at the outset I have mixed feelings -- moral reservations, he said, shockingly, Himself being a member in good standing of the Loyal Order of Heathen -- about the idea of forwarding other people's e-mail around.
It is only in the interest of exploration and self-improvement that I have here in these threads posted communications from WAW -- and then only because of the anonymity. But OCF "knows" me, and I her, and I wonder how she would feel if she knew I was reading her words -- though I expect they have been selectively edited by WAW, "sanitized for my protection."
OCF had, at WAW's apparent request (one must infer from context), informed Mutual High School Friend of WAW's departure from the familial manse and the looming D.
OCF had also, and here I must guess (mind-read, sorry Gypsy) also at WAW's apparent request, solicited feedback from MHSF on Retrouvaille, which MHSF attended in the wake of the outing of Mr. MHSF's long-term A. Which feedback, having been solicited, was then forwarded to WAW.
Who, in turn, forwarded it to me without comment save for an "FYI."
For my information? Had I requested such information? Boy-o-boy, that Ol' Doc Ambien is a tricky sum-bum indeed, because I have no such recollection. Indeed, it was I who had forwarded WAW the Retrouvaille URL after she mentioned, several weeks ago, "some Catholic thing" that MHSF and Wayward had attended.
Ah, that must be it. Perhaps WAW is just closing the correspondence loop. She is nothing if not business-correct.
So I replied in a Smiley's Person-like way -- that is, in a way guaranteed to irritate Gypsy and mindblank and some of our other colleagues.
Herself, however, did not take the bait. She replied to the reply, seriously, and seemingly intrigued by the fact that, in the midst of serious financial challenges, Mr. and Mrs. MHSF are "pulling together in the stress" which, WAW concludes, "is an endorsement" of the program.
Hmmmmmm.
This requires some thought. And some mojo. And some distance and calm and quiet.
I am not eloquent with language the way you are, and my computer is packed so I won't have an opportunity to edit this.
I don't know how this happened, and it really doesn't matter now. We are too far down this dark path to turn around now. I had thought that if we lived separately, we might be able to slowly rebuild our relationship. I understand that you don't want or need that, and I accept it.
If I had looked into the future and seen this ending for us, I wouldn't have believed it. I also would have fought like hell to prevent it. But it seemed to sneak up on us with little warning.
I know you will go on to have a great life and great love. But for me, you were and will always be the one great love of my life.
You may not believe it, but I wish you all the happiness you can handle. I will miss you forever.
/s/ Herself
My .02 is that you should not respond to this note. It reads to me like a disingenuous pity party, SP. Or...what Puppy said.
"I don't know how this happened, and it really doesn't matter now." Like hell it doesn't matter. Seems to me, if you're going to bust up a family, it would matter to you how things came about.
"too far down this dark path" Woe is me. And by the way, she's wrong.
"If I had looked into the future and seen this ending for us" She did. She looked in the future and planned this exactly...without fighting like hell to "prevent" it.
As for the "one great love of my life"...Make up your mind, woman.
I am impatient when women do silly girl stuff...and this is silly girl stuff. It's a fluffy accounting of a grave matter. Does it really mean anything?
There is nothing to respond to here in my opinion. There is nothing of real substance that deserves a response. The (good?) news for you is that she really sounds UNSURE of herself. A woman with purpose and clarity would have written a purposeful and clear goodbye. She couldn't.
Me45 H46 T25 M22 S21 & 19 D13 Separated and filed 8/08 Moved home 11/08
