Do you two like sit across a big desk from each other and just peck away at the keyboards? It's always so funny to see you replying to each other's posts.
Nope. I'm at my office and he's at his - across town from each other. Neither one of us really have time for this ... but apparently we can't help ourselves! Haha! But like I wrote to AlexEN yesterday ~~~ there is no point in having gone through everything we did if we can't share what we learned and let it be a blessing going forward.
Cheers ~~~
Me45 H46 T25 M22 S21 & 19 D13 Separated and filed 8/08 Moved home 11/08
@Greek wrote: "Can't wait to see how she processes this."
Easy answer. She called this a.m. to "talk about it" and I suggested e-mail with an agenda was more effective and safe. She asked why I was so hurt, and I explained it -- did she really think I would forgo possible love and happy marriage in the future for this rather small amount of money? Is that who she thinks I am?
She just e-mailed me. I'll quote:
Quote:
Also, regarding "who you are": Quite honestly, I never believed you would take spousal support from me, let alone for a "lifetime", however that is defined. I am not saying that to belittle you; that was just my honest belief about you. Did I think about the money before I made my decision? Absolutely. Again, not trying to be mean, but that is one reason I stayed as long as I did. ONE reason, not THE reason. (But sometimes honesty is NOT the best policy).
@Greek wrote: "Can't wait to see how she processes this."
Easy answer. She called this a.m. to "talk about it" and I suggested e-mail with an agenda was more effective and safe. She asked why I was so hurt, and I explained it -- did she really think I would forgo possible love and happy marriage in the future for this rather small amount of money? Is that who she thinks I am?
She just e-mailed me. I'll quote:
Quote:
Also, regarding "who you are": Quite honestly, I never believed you would take spousal support from me, let alone for a "lifetime", however that is defined. I am not saying that to belittle you; that was just my honest belief about you. Did I think about the money before I made my decision? Absolutely. Again, not trying to be mean, but that is one reason I stayed as long as I did. ONE reason, not THE reason. (But sometimes honesty is NOT the best policy).
There it is.
I've re-read this three times, and I still don't even UNDERSTAND it. WTF is she even SAYING here???
No, I think it's crystal clear. Yes, I thought about money. That's why I hung around as long as I did. But at the end of the day I bolted because I didn't think you were scummy enough to actually take it. Boy was I wrong!
No, I think it's crystal clear. Yes, I thought about money. That's why I hung around as long as I did. But at the end of the day I bolted because I didn't think you were scummy enough to actually take it. Boy was I wrong!
Oh. I apparently didn't have my online "Entitled Princess-to-English" translator handy . . .
I don't know if this is DBing but I think it is time to refrain from asking her what she thinks of you or why...duh.
AND, I think you should stick to only kid talk and specifics for a while.
I think this is a very good idea. I know you've handled it better than most, SP, but at some point, there's no sense in having her chip away at you and chip away at you . . .
@ Now mind you, her "plan" -- and the air quotes are deliberate -- was to keep the D secret in her mind while pursuing Signore Schmuckatelli, and I finished my (now 5 months behind schedule) book. [Person, you're mind-reading! No -- that's what she told me.]
Her friends -- including 2 who were in our wedding party (nice) -- would know. A couple co-workers -- both of whom regularly saw me (nice) -- would know. (About the D and Signore Schmuckatelli.) She would know.
Of course, I wouldn't know.
She doesn't get how that hurts, either, incidentally. How the idea that she'd let me be ignorant, thinking I was married, would be hurtful to a person -- let alone this Person.
Absolutely rotten behavior!
Unfortunately I know at sitch going on in real world where a WAS is in a fling and the LBS doesn't know yet. Presumably it's to protect the LBS. It makes me angry at this WAS and feeling bad for the LBS.
I sure don't want to be that guy but deep down I accept the possibility is always there that something like this could happen to me. I can't burn the thought energy to go there right now.
I feel it's really chicken sh of the WAS not to face up and be honest about what's going on in their own life. It's fear of disapproval, fear of defending themselves, fear of their own guilt.
"My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand." Thich Nhat Hanh
It's always so funny to see you replying to each other's posts.
