Hey BND, it was raining here for about 30 days - it finally stopped a few days ago.
Sorry about your tenant. It is tough going everywhere. I am sitting here trying to figure out how to handle this huge paycut h had to take. It wont be long until we are in insurmountable trouble.
Hola amiga....remember you told me on the phone when we first spoke that I needed to say something like "I am sorry you feel this way"....well I found this on a website confirming what you told me.and here it is along with what I wrote him...he emailed me back... I have no expectations but God heard me when I asked him to let my husband have a response for me and when I opened up the email he had answered me ...as you can imagine my FAITH AND HOPE sky rocketed as is still here with me as I write this to you.....I hope all works out for your family...Irma
The Magic Words I’m sorry you feel that way Though you cannot fix your MLCer, you are not incapable of providing help—by accepting and validating his choices. I’m sorry you feel…
•life is hopeless •you do not love me •I was an awful wife •you deserve better •you are not worthy •this new person is your soul mate •you are never coming home •you hate me… By not validating, your MLCer feels you are not listening or taking him seriously; to dismiss his feelings is to also be dismissive of him—and that is insulting.
I’m sorry you feel that way. I realize you must do what you feel is best and I understand. I must also do what I feel is best.
I’m sorry you feel that way will become your mantra or new catch-phrase. You will eventually feel like a broken record. But it is important. Consider alternative phrases that sound the same. I wish you didn’t feel that way. This gives primary reference to your desires rather than his feelings; it is telling him what you want and in Midlife Crisis while operating on emotions, your desires do not matter to him. MLCers don’t want to feel you’re pushing your desires or agenda.
I’m never coming home. I know, but if you change your mind; I’m here. Validate that you are aware he is not coming back; he doesn’t need the added guilt and pressure of thinking you’re waiting. Telling him you are there is not meant as an implication of you being a lifeless being staring at the phone, waiting for it to ring, but rather that you are an available friend in need. He may not care; or rather he may not think he cares. Right now you might be the last person he wants to call when he needs help, but tomorrow is another day.
after almost 2 months of no contact other than wishing him a happy father day text
Jerry, I'm sorry you feel that you dont love me anymore. I'm sorry you feel you have found your soulmate with someone else, and I'm sorry you feel you are never coming home, but if you change your mind just know that I am here. I realize you must do what you feel is best and I understand, I must also do what I feel is best for me and Becca. And most of all I am sorry that you feel this way. I hope you are doing ok.. Your Wife Irma he emailed me the next day... I dont expect another email but maybe this validating thing is for real
Don't we all need validation ... a feeling of being heard and understood. But, it is so difficult with someone in the middle of MLC. So, that's where 'act as if' comes into play, I guess. Just a general thought. LOL
So sorry about the financial sitch ... it's hitting the world like it's nobody's business.
Good luck.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
Good Morning!! Getting ready to go and spend the day with the family at the local lake.The sun is finally out.
I wanted to just add a little note about my life.
Contrary to popular belief and those that are concerned about me, I am NOT having a MLC of my own.
I have no plans to become a WAW.
Am I stressed out...yes!
But I also believe that even if I hadn't spent the last couple of years recovering from my Husband's MLC, I would probably be feeling the exact same way.
I think most of us would.
So much has happened to my family in a very short amount of time, and it is hard at times to make sense of it all.
So for those of you who were concerned enough to let me know how you felt about my life, thank you.
You can pray for my family, that we would get through this trial and land on our feet again.
On a more positive note, my Husband has been sending off resumes, and actually has a terrific attitude.
He told me that he had become too complacent since he has been home, and this was the kick in the arse he has needed.
Have a blessed Sunday!!!
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
You can't go wrong with a positive attitude! Have fun at the lake.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
