Jojo, Thanks for your very kind words. And yes, God does speak to us in many ways. I heard on the radio that God speaks to us all time and we often fail to hear because we let other things drown out His voice.
Yes, agree about taking baby steps as things turn around. Baby steps are good.
I like your positive list. Are you going to take up A's challenge to have a get-together at your house? Would it be a good opportunity to show him your independence and your changes?
It's great that you joined the gym. Working out will energize you and help you feel healthy and well. You'll feel good about yourself. Hope you have a good weekend. PH
1.) trying to let go of worries a.) they flood my mind sometimes, but I fight them off the best I can
2.) thought about 3 choices for birthday celebration with A a.) spend the day at an ocean community--Martha's Vineyard b.) go to six flags and dinner c.) go to brunch on the water in Boston, go to movie d.) drive-in Movie & picnic e.) movie and dinner f.) claim dibs on Mama Mia show when it comes to Boston.
3.) thinking about baking a cake and bringing it to him on Wednesday.
4.) Found a great card. Sending it tomorrow.
5.) Feeling scared and nervous. I am frightened of the effect she has on him. I'm afraid that he is filling his life with her and her family.
1.) Had terrible A dream last night. (reocurring) 2.) Positive: my brother-in-law called from UK, left message. a.) He must have gotten my number from A b.) He said he missed me. c.) After I signed up for international calling, I still couldn't connect. I left message with A to call me for details how to connect to UK. Excited about talking to brother-in-law.
3.) Went to gym. 4.) took care of mother in morning. 5.) found great b-card for A. a.) adding to list of choices. Directions will be to either pick one or all, but he has to choose at least one.
1.) See Kathy Griffen, dinner 2.) See Jersey Boys, dinner at end of July. 3.) Six Flags and dinner 4.) Go to beach community for the day (RI, Cape, North Shore) 5.) Brunch on the odyssey 6.) Picnic at the Drive-in Movie
still feel threatened by D. I can't remember the reason why Laurie told me why I have the edge over her. I'm working on my confidence, but struggliing.
Hi PH: so good to hear from you. I pray for you and your H every day (at least twice a day).
God tells us to believe in him and trust him. I believe that we are all his, but I tell him that I trust him. Still, I'm nervous and scared at the same time.
Talk about challenge...lifting my head up with certainty is my challenge. Work settles me. I don't know why. Maybe because it is emotionally safe. My days off, I'm afraid and I have to push myself. Pushing myself is a little easier. Maybe because I feel that I have competition.
I've been wracking my brain trying to remember what Laurie told me about why I have the edge over this new friend of A's. All I know is that it doesn't help me to think about her.
I was thinking that I might even bake A a birthday cake for his birthday on Wednesday and bring it to his job so everyone can share. What do you think?
Dear Laurie: Very difficult to let go of worries. Feeling emotional. Boobs hurt! Maybe PMS has the best of me.
My mind is full of my fears. I somehow believe that A thinks she is everythihng I'm not or that she has a good balance of what I have and what I am trying to be. I know you said that I don't give myself enough credit, but I am trying to take a que from her ... yet, A does not give me any time alone with me.
He already said that she was independent. He once told me that I didn't have an identity. He once told me that he needs someone strong. I am very frightened, yet I don't understand what his motives were to invite the both of us.
I'm not sure that I believe what E told me about A wanting me to entertain and to invite him. I wonder if he will eer take me up on my offers.
my plan was to baake a cake for wed. but I'm nervous now.
1.) See Jersey Boys, dinner in mid to end of July. 2.) Six Flags and dinner 3.) Go to beach community for the day (RI, Cape, North Shore, Martha's Vineyard) 4.) Brunch on the odyssey 5.) Picnic at the Drive-in Movie
1.) A wanting to spend time alone with me. 2.) A hanging out with me. 3.) A and I going to dinner. 4.) Light-hearted times 5.) Laughing together. 6.) His making plans with me. a.) dinner, movies, parties, social events, shows 7.) I want him to say will I see you tomorrow, this week, this weekend? When will I see you next?
Thanks for all your prayers. It's really kind of you to pray.
Re: your situation, pray about even the little things - whether to bake a cake for A's birthday. Ask yourself how he would take that. WIll it bring him closer to you or ewill it put pressure on him? Will it come across as being needy? How about baking the cake, and if he shows up, give it to him. If not, freeze the cake until the next time you saw him.
If he thinks you need to be more independent and strong, then that's a good area of your life to work. Your independence will become very attractive to him.
Do you go to individual counselling? Check out emdria.org - ggod method to get over past habits, hurts.
Thank you PH: I am very confused now. I feel right now that this new woman is taking over. I have a terrible feeling about this. I don't know how I can compete. I'm not sure how he will ever let me in, if she is taking up all of his time. My goal is to get to a point where we spend alone time together and bond. I don't see it happening if they are planning everything together. I am very afraid. How will he let me in? My friend told me that they are just friends, but she is taking part of every corner of his life.
I can not start any therapy outside of this counseling because I do not want to start explaining my story all over again. I can't afford the time to even drive to the appointment. My schedule is too tight. I have not found any therapist who is supportive of reconciling with my husband. All of them say to give up and to move on and to stop putting myself in that position.
Feeling emotional. Boobs hurt! Maybe PMS has the best of me.
