Well I talk to OM wife. She is upset. I'm going to try to help as much as I can in dealing with this I will send her to this site to start. We both want to save our R, but now OM wife and I have to get our spouse to stop the A... and QUICK!!!!
Me:39 W:38 D:9 D:7 First Bomd: Dec 08 Second BOMD: Jun 09 OM M: 13yrs T: 14:yrs
So what's the deal with the OM? How did they meet?
You've noticed it so far that she's going to start acting "holier than thou" and that you were the one at fault for her cheating on you. She's already lied to you, so you can check that off the cheating list.
Just be prepared for it. If you thought she was mad at you before, you ain't seen nothing yet. We've all gone through it.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
You've noticed it so far that she's going to start acting "holier than thou" and that you were the one at fault for her cheating on you. She's already lied to you, so you can check that off the cheating list.
OH ya it has started. They meet up at a local bar. W tells me it's not wrong because we are alreadly done and that she wants a D. While talking to OMW I found out that the night W didn'y come home til 7am was the same night OM didn't come home til 7am OH SURPRISE!!!! Gee do you think there are sleeping together!!!!!!!!!!! I have to end this crap now.. I have to get his number and I'm going to talk to him.. nicely and first!
Me:39 W:38 D:9 D:7 First Bomd: Dec 08 Second BOMD: Jun 09 OM M: 13yrs T: 14:yrs
I hope you're keeping a detailed journal of these things. It may be helpful later on. Specifically, make sure you note the date that they both stayed out until 7am.
I have been writing everything I can down. Just a little update I have stop trying to stop the A with OM. I Have been talking with OMW to help encourage her. I have told W my conditions on the D, and told her that was all I wanted to say to her. Complete stop of pursuit! Also W knows I have been talking to OMW. Well, W wants to know what OMW and I are talking about, just reply stuff. Also I'm starting counceling to control my anger and outbust. But sense I have been doing this suff W wants to talk to me more and wants to know why I will talk to others about us but not her. The number one thing is working on ME to be a better person and my KIDS. I do love them with all my HEART. Don't get me wrong I'm still working on getting W and my R back, but throught me and kids changing!!!!
Me:39 W:38 D:9 D:7 First Bomd: Dec 08 Second BOMD: Jun 09 OM M: 13yrs T: 14:yrs
You don't need to tell her anything. Just that you and the OMW talked. It's amazing how the cheating S often is so scared of being found out. My W was threatening me that I better not tell the OMW about them. What world was she living on?
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Last night after the kids went to bed, W wanted to know why I was still talking to OMW. Saying what good was it all it is going to do is make her made and upset. Pretty must everyone we know knows about the A and most of the stuff going on. I'm sill just trying to support the OMW as much as I can. I don't know if OMW as signed on here yet but it does help to vent on here!!!!
Me:39 W:38 D:9 D:7 First Bomd: Dec 08 Second BOMD: Jun 09 OM M: 13yrs T: 14:yrs
. . . W wants to talk to me more and wants to know why I will talk to others about us but not her.
Tell her "I'm willing to discuss any and all issues -- including mine. End your affair, and we'll talk."
You should refuse to discuss your R with her as long as there is a third person in the marriage. If she keeps bugging you about what you've discussed with OMW, just say "I don't want to tell you. I'm doing what I feel I need to do to protect myself."
