Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
My unemployment finally came through on Friday, what a relief. I slept OK last night for the first time in a month.
Me: 30 W: 28 T 8, M 6 S: 7-27-2007 W filed (again) 3-2011 Served 8-2011 Responded, now dark "I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear" MLK
Jon that is great to hear. I am still waiting...I know I will get it but it takes an average of 21 days before we see anything. How long did yours take?
I just spent a great weekend w/ Dad and family at Rehobath Beach, Delaware...location of the beach house. It was relaxing, didn't have to do much, lots of wine last night And a little sunburn today.
Tomorrow I go look at apartments.....
Four more weeks and I will be out of Texas. I am excited, anxious, and so looking forward to this...
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
Yeah I did...they took me to some dive. Sheesh...can't even take a lady to a fancy dinner hehe tomorrow nite is chili night. (You guys know I got nuttin' but luv foya...)
Trapt, it has been a long road. I think I need to take the opportunity to say a few things, though.
Maybe it is because I am a psych major, or maybe it is because I have read so many self help books I could open my own self help bookstore that I feel so positive. This has been one of the most difficult experiences of my life. And although I could have let it destroy me, I didn't.
I don't hate H. As a matter of fact, I still love him. Am I angry at times? You betcha. I have found that by allowing myself to feel the anger, it really leaves me pretty quickly, and I can put the memory behind me.
I know I did not give up and move on. I moved forward. It just so happens that in my case, I am not moving forward with my H. And I am okay with that.
I never thought I would get to this point. I tried for so long to push down any feeling I had for H, to rid myself of it, suck it up, move on. That doesn't work. I realized that in order to heal, I had to feel. There are still moments when I am sad, and miss him. But not the person he is now. And I also know that I will never trust him again. Even if he came back now, full of promises, I would not take him back. It may be because there has been more than one woman, and I KNOW I deserve better than that. I deserve to be loved. I deserve to love. And I deserve to trust the person I love, and have that person trust me. And I have decided that someday in the future, I will have that.
So to anyone who reads my thread...FEEL. It is not always easy, and the first few times you allow yourself to do it, it will be very hard. But eventually you will realize you are smiling more often than crying, laughing more often than being angry, and forgiving. And that is the most important part.
((((hugs)))) Lola
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
Feel....yes....absolutely imperative. I was waxing philosophical on my thread the other day about wanting to feel pain because it was better than feeling nothing at all. Of course, you have to feel the pain in order to ever get to feel the joy again.
I'm SO excited for your move! I almost feel like I'm right there with you. When you move, what highway are you taking? I'm angling to meet up with you at some point!
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
I don't know yet. I think I am going to map out a few different routes. It is funny, at this point I feel like I have four arms with many people tugging at them for me to stop in. So I think what I am going to do is just see which is the fastest route to get there. I would love to meet up though...
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
And a little sunburn today. 
