Playhouse

[SueS]

Hi Yoyo-

Sweetie, you do sound great. I know you've been busy, but did you get a chance to read most of the book?

I'm so happy for your DD. My niece gradutated the week before your DD and it was so nice. It hit me at the ceremony just how much she's grown and how mature she is. My sister is the Mega Emotional one but even I cried seeing her make that next step.

I'll catch up with you via email soon.

Take care! SueS

[theoden]

Yoyo,

It's a long time coming.

Theoden

[NoCodeBlues]

(((((Yoyo)))))

Congratulations on your DD. I am very sorry about your H -- he sounds so much like my xW : it's all about her/him. While it pains me to see another M fail, I also know that it should not come at the cost of our wonderful, dear Yoyo either. As such I am somewhat relieved that you will at the very least be saved. It is your H's loss, big time.

Hugs and prayers, dear lady.

[fightingirish]

ditto nc~

xxoo

T

[Dr LOve]

YoYo,

you have mail

[Matilda2]

(((YOYO)))

[saffie]

Yoyo,

You sound so good and that your life is so full.

(((((HUGS)))))

[JAK58]

[/quote] As such I am somewhat relieved that you will at the very least be saved. It is your H's loss, big time.[quote]

I agree with this whole heartedly.

((((((Yoyo))))))
You are in my thoughts and prayers.

JAK

[NoCodeBlues]

As such I am somewhat relieved that you will at the very least be saved. It is your H's loss, big time.

I agree with this whole heartedly.

((((((Yoyo))))))
You are in my thoughts and prayers.

JAK

I'll say a bit more on this... If I compare what I have heard from wayward spouses, including my own, they will say they have to divorce their spouse "in order to be able to save themselves". My xW has often said this, that she had to separate from me and divorce me in order to be able to "save herself" (even saying she would have "died" if she stayed in our M.) And it disturbs me greatly to now hear my brother's W saying some of these same things as she and he prepare to end their M.

The difference here is that statement presupposes that the WAS has really and truly given themselves to their spouse and to their M -- which is a notion I would challenge. I have come to realize that my own spouse never really gave herself fully and truly to our M, so her statements about "saving herself" were just hollow platitudes. In most of these cases it stems from an all too pervasive sense of misplaced, unjustifiable entitlement.

But in your case, Yoyo, you have most certainly given your M and your family your absolute all. You have given your H and your M every reasonable chance to recover -- and some. Many could argue you have gone not only above and beyond, but too far at times.

So I think I am safe to say that yours is the exception that proves the rule, and that again while I hate it that your M is likely to be yet another casualty, your H's continual recalcitrant behavior makes it plain to all that you cannot save your M. You can't do this on your own.

As stridently pro-M as I am, it says something for me to support your decision to end your M. I think it best to cut your losses where H is concerned and save yourself -- you really and honestly do have a justification, both ethically and spiritually, for allowing your M to end.

We love you, Yoyo. You need not go down with this sinking ship. We now want you to save yourself and your DD's.

[Yoyowife]

Much love to you all. You all will never realize the impact you have had on my life. I know that I can vent on here whenever I need to.

As I read your posts I teared up. Not because of my H, but because of all of the kindness you all continue to shower me with.

I called my lawyer yesterday when I got home from my workshop, but she was with a client. I had another workshop today. When I got home I had a message from her. I called and she was in court. We are basically playing phone tag. I told her paralegal that the divorce is back on again and I need to make an appointment. She said she would give her the message. So as you all can see I'm finally being proactive.

I plan on making a list of questions that I need to ask my lawyer. If anyone has any good ideas please let me know. Our state is a fault state and an equitable property state. There are no minor children in the marriage. We also own a commercial plumbing business. I haven't worked for the business, I teach. His OW is still the secretary, so you all see the mess I face.