S11 was talking to me yesterday about the events from Monday. Wife took him aside and gave him the whole "Nobody cares about me, nobody loves me, they don't call me" rant that she gave me a few weeks ago. I'm guessing he got it because I didn't respond to the bait of the text that she sent me. Interesting thing is S11 says she will pull him aside and talk to him about this kind of stuff but she doesn't talk to her "friend" about any of it.
That is odd that she doesn't confide in her "friend."
Kind of funny how she yells at you and accuses you of things when you ask the kids a question. But she is allowed to dump her issues on your son who is 11 yrs. old?? Projection at it's finest.
It's like she's trying unsuccessfully to replace me. Not only does she talk to him about that but she tells him about things at work. Stuff she would normally talk to me about but apparently "friend" is not interested in listening. But seriously an 11 year old is really going to care about what is going on at her job?
My week takes a new turn. I was at the store exchanging clothes that I bought D9 for her bday. I look up and checking out right across from me is wife and "friend". I pretended like I didn't see her. I thought for sure she wouldn't say a thing to me after Monday. Well of course I forgot this is MLC, she's a totally different person today.
She calls my name. I say hi. She had some stuff that a guy I coach football with dropped off to her. She asked where I was parked. I kinda pointed and I must have looked goofy cuz she mocked me and laughed. She then noticed the clothes I was waiting to return and asked if they were for D9. I said yeah but the size was wrong so she came over to see what size I got and talked about how she wasn't sure what she was going to get D9 for her bday.
"Friend" got done checking out and was standing behind her while she talked to me. I said Hi to him. He stood there for a couple minutes and then asked her if she just wanted him to put the stuff in the car. She said "yeah".
She was telling me about how she's going to take the kids to the zoo for D9's bday on Saturday. Then she told me about how her and "friend" went to a different zoo this past weekend where you can feed the giraffes. She said it wasn't as fun as when "we" went there because the giraffes didn't come to feed like when "we" took the kids there before.
By this time it was my turn to be served at the counter so I fully expected her to jet but she stood and waited until I was done and then we talked about S11's football camp for another 5-10 minutes.
This was a far cry from wanting to see a lawyer on Monday. Absolutely no animosity whatsoever.
D they change moods alot never know what to expect..one moment my XH is totalkly withdrawn no eye contact and unfriendly next he is chatty and kind its like a double personality disorder
wow what an uncomfortable situation at the store with w and OP you handled it well oue WAS dont realize how much self control we have to practice from their selfish choices peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
Hi D, You're doing great! It is definitely a rollercoaster ride-one minute at the bottom the next up top..I think as long as you show your wife your calmness/friendliness..I think things will slowly continue to improve.
Just consider my situation: Asking for Divorce on Monday, Wednesday OW breaks up with him, Friday he's spending the night with me and talking about moving back. Last night- 1.5 weeks later from asking for divorce(which he said was the worst day of his life), he is moving back with me and the kids and getting us an appointment for marital counseling. Talk about a wild ride!
H said what kept him 'in the game' was my friendship and support. Whenever he couldn't find someone to trust he would come to me, whenever he didn't have support he would come to me..and he realized this on his own!
I hope you have a great weekend.. My thread is locked on the MLC forum, so you may find me in the Piecing forum..hoping its not premature.. :-)
M44 H46 T21 Married 16y D14 D12 Bomb 12/08(EA), (PA/Separation)1/09 to 5/09 Home/MC 5/09 to 12/09 Leaves 12/09 Files for Divorce Divorce final 6/30/10.
Not a very eventful weekend. Kids were at wife's this weekend.
Picked them up to go to Church Sunday morning. D9 slept over at a friend's house so I picked her up there. When I dropped them off D9 left all her stuff in my car including the 2 stuffed animals I bought her for her bday. Well when I got home there was a message on the answering machine from wife saying that D9 forgot them in my car and she would come and get them.
Now this kind of surprised me because wife would normally tell her to deal with it, that she would get them on Tuesday when she got home. I went and mowed the yard and did some other stuff around the house, wife never showed. About 4:30 she calls me and says that she's on her way out. I took the stuffed animals out of the car and set them on the trunk so she could just grab them and leave.
I see wife pull in the driveway (alone, surprised "friend" wasn't with her). I expect her to get out grab the stuff and leave. Well she comes to the door and knocks. She comes in because she wants to see the kittens one of the cats had last week. Again she was very friendly to me.
I think the WAS does make excuses to see us MY XH visitied 4x a week for 2 years and usually came in sat down we talked sometimes for long periods of time but they are on the fence IM not sure but I feel many of them stay on the fence a very long time, maybe the whole time whike in crises I feel MY x is still fence sitting even thru D they cant really let go yet they want the fantasy of the OP/life peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
Hi D, Definitely good signs. I think I agree with Peace that it doesn't necssarily mean your wife is off the fence, but the more appealing/attractive you look compared to any other man in her life, the better. She's got a lot of issues to deal with and sooner or later those will come out in any relationship she has-your advantage is that she is a known entity-you already know the issues and understand them better than she does! So keep up the good work, enjoy the peaceful moments that are happening,and keep expectations low!
M44 H46 T21 Married 16y D14 D12 Bomb 12/08(EA), (PA/Separation)1/09 to 5/09 Home/MC 5/09 to 12/09 Leaves 12/09 Files for Divorce Divorce final 6/30/10.
